Help Me Be Me

If you are one of those people who debates things in your mind endlessly, shuts down, isolates – this is for you. This is for you only if you find that this is causing you issues in your communication with others, difficulty in your relationships or perhaps you notice that it's affecting your confidence. This might be especially relevant for anyone out there who is heading back home for the holidays – if you return to your family of origin, all sorts of old drama can come up. You become a very sensitive organ reacting to very old wounds. There’s a lot in here about triggering family members and how to negotiate that situation. Shout out to two listeners in particular! Hope this helps! Xox For more of my work and to make a donation head to YayWithMe.com xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

By scripts I am talking self-judgment. Negative self-talk. The things we perceive inside our heads – that tell us how to act and dictate what we believe about ourselves. We all have things we believe about ourselves and how we are perceived. However, there’s something very different that is experienced by the outside world. This episode is calling attention to that gap and examining whether or not it’s working for or against you. Because you can change everything in your life by changing how you interpret it! If you want to check it out – this is the book that inspired this episode: https://amzn.to/31PUyU8 For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is an episode about the self-soothing habits that we have that do not help us. For some that is online shopping. For some that is eating. And for some that is getting likes or getting hit on. What these have in common is they don’t fulfill us or make us feel whole. They actually end up making us feel an ever-increasing void where it matters most: on the inside. For more of my writing, to ask a question, and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com or visit Patreon.com/sarahmayb Xox! To check out an article with more info about shopping addiction, head here: https://www.elle.com/fashion/shopping/a41845/shopping-dopamine/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for anyone has a person in their life who is mistreating them. For example, let’s say you have an in-law who treats you like a punching bag, or your partner is hurting your feelings on a daily basis, or you have a volatile sibling who speaks to you terribly. It can be really disorienting, especially if you’ve been taking this for a really long time. Plus, with intimate relationships there’s often a trade-off that makes this even more complicated: if this relationship also provides you with rent, or your spouse doesn’t share your hurt perspective – you might feel guilty about having the feelings that you have. Caveat: this topic has some overlap with domestic violence but I am not addressing people who are victims of domestic violence. Why? Because in your situation, your physical safety is of primary concern and some of the tools I am offering might threaten that safety. For you I recommend you head to: thehotline.org or google your local domestic violence resource. And know that if you are in a relat

This was inspired by a friend of mine saying, “I’m not too many steps from a crazy person.” That really resonated with me – because it’s true. When life unravels, it’s really easy – and rapid – to get to a point of being completely leveled. Where we have no tools, where we are grasping, begging, underfoot, feeling desperate and worthless. Or crazy. Or like a mess, like life is a mess – like we fucked everything up. No one loves us, etc. So this is a preventative episode about “building your mental house right” – and you’ll hear more about that in the episode. I hope you enjoy! The book I talk about in this episode that I recommend if you are curious (but unsure) about therapy is here: https://amzn.to/33HcEtJ As with all my episodes – take what helps and leave the rest. I am not a doctor or a professional of any kind. I am a regular person who wants to help. You know you best. If you liked this episode and you would like to make a donation to support this podcast, head to YayWithMe.com and click donate or visi

Hi friends!! Apologies for the lag in postings…I have had some super intense hours as of late. But it will lighten up very soon. This is an episode all about the deeper and perhaps more logical causes of depression and anxiety. It’s inspired by a book I just read – which is BRILLIANT. Link at the bottom of the notes. Here’s the gist: Depression and anxiety are both forms of disconnection. We are cut off from things we need as humans – they are basic needs that we don’t realize we have. Because we live in the bubble of culture! You don’t realize how much that culture affects your world view and your habits; the thoughts and feelings you about yourself. If you want to do an experiment to see how conditioned you are by the various facets of culture, I invite you to watch a movie from 10 years ago. We don’t realize the messages we are receiving all the time and the power of those messages. A lot of our cultural depression is a literal mourning of consistent life experiences that we are meant to have– things that

Hi peeps, this is a way to make sure you’re keeping yourself functioning at an optimal level – and not getting stuck in a stressed/triggered state or a low/depressed state. It’s basically how to widen your capacity for resiliency via grounding yourself in moments you are getting out of whack. This one is based on a lengthy training I had and it’s meant to be done in person - one-on-one, so hopefully it translates somewhat! If you need more information about this one, please let me know and I’ll post a part 2. For more of my work or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for anyone who get triggered around a family member or other person in their life, but you have decided that you want to continue to be around this person – despite this trigger. So really – these are management tools for tolerating these interactions. This is from a listener who has to endure some triggers around a family member. When this person is there, they feel drained and irritated – so these are some tools for a similar situation. This is a very difficult (and sadly, common) experience – the gist is how to manage the experience of being around a triggering person if you’re still working on your shit in therapy. As with all my episodes – three parts: What, why and how the tools. If you’d like to see more of my writing or make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ways to represent your best self in work and in life. Tips for asking for a raise, evolving within your workplace and growing your confidence professionally. This is more geared toward individuals who work within a company versus being your own boss. For more of my work head to YayWithMe.com xo! Here's a good article on things to think about before having a raise/promotion conversation with a boss: https://www.business.com/articles/salary-negotiation-tips-how-to-ask-for-and-get-a-raise/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You might not realize that you are a perfectionist. You might just think you have a high bar and believe in excellence. A lot of perfectionists think that there’s nothing wrong about their high standards. And I would agree with them – unless you are robbing yourself of health, wellness, and happiness. By that I mean – are you unknowingly running yourself into the ground? OR are you possibly robbing yourself of enjoyment and balance in life? Perfectionism is like a helmet you wear through life because it alters your experience of everything: it alters how you feel, how you behave, and what you can appreciate. As with all my episodes – remember I am a regular person. No degrees or expertise. This is just my opinion, so take what helps and leave the rest! To make a donation and to see more of my work head to YayWithMe.com xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a powerup for anyone who is burned out or about to be burned out – currently getting super overwhelmed by their schedule and they’re starting to freak out. A lot of the reason we start to freak out is we get stuck in a state of anticipation: we start to foreshadow negative consequences, imagining how bad something will be – we actively live suffering in our minds. What I want to remind you of is your actual physical moment is quite different. When you are stressed out and overwhelmed in this actual moment – it looks very different. If you want to make a donation or check out more of my work visit YayWithMe.com xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for anyone who is struggling with attempting to control others and/or obsessing about things in their own life, for example predicting future events and what they can do about them. The best part of this episode is def the tools! So if you're curious and also impatient, skip to part 3 - the tools. This is a request from a listener– it’s somewhat related to the self-sabotage podcast. The listener pointed out that when you are self-sabotaging you are attempting to control what will be – because the anxiety is too great. Once you know this is happening for you, how do you let go of the future and stop trying to control it? It’s a toughy, but I’m going to do my best! The audiobook I mention in this episode can be found here: https://amzn.to/2VGMySY For comments, to make a donation or to read more of my work, head to YayWithMe.com xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for anyone out there who is dating and they are struggling with letting go of the people who don’t text you back. It’s also for anyone who is dating someone you think you really like – and because of the rarity of that, you’re freaking the fuck out because you don’t know what to say or do and you don’t want to misstep. So – it’s for the mind-boggling stage of dating where nothing makes sense and there seems to be no structure or logic and you feel like a crazy person with no power. And every decision is decided by the focus group that is your friend group. This one is for Ty (‘s friend). Hope this helps! As with all my podcasts take what helps and leave the rest. xo If you are in this demographic and you’re struggling I recommend reading these two books– (at least) the first 3 chapters of this: https://amzn.to/2E9RtWL And this (but replace pronouns where appropriate): https://amzn.to/2NbzCla If the tone turns you off, I get it! But I would read it/listen to it regardless because it’s a good synthesis

Do you feel like you lost all power and autonomy in your new relationship? Are you always wrong, apologizing, groveling? Does it feel like you’re on drugs because of how intoxicating this person is? Do you obsess about them and yet you also kind of loathe dating them? Then you might be in a relationship with a narcissist. This is inspired by a listener and I thought it might be helpful to someone out there. And heads up - this is all information that is widely available out there on the interwebs so if you want to know more, give it a quick google – there are tons of resources. Here are a few books that I like if you want to dive deeper: Book 1: https://amzn.to/2MxkBd3 Book 2: https://amzn.to/2Mz4BqO And a book recommended by a listener (which I haven't read yet, but looks promising): https://amzn.to/2RW4ZFC To make request, see more of my work and to make a donation head to YayWithMe.com xo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A reflection process for guiding your life versus your life living you. Happy New Year! I wanted to invite all of you to do a check in with yourself and your life – to see if you are happy, and specifically whether or not you are living it with the right “ratio.” Think of this like a screentime analysis of your life. I want you to grab your journal because we are going to reflect on specifics of what makes you the happiest. There are 3 parts. The first part is a journal reflection with 10 questions. The second part is an assignment to ensure you’re starting 2019 off on the inspired foot. The third part is a strength-building exercise for maintaining your best self. I hope you enjoy! If you’d like to check out more of my work or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com Xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a combo Q&A episode all about how to deal with the pain and courage needed to deal with a breakup. Four people had questions about leaving a relationship and struggling with that decision. The questions are as follows: >> How can especially sensitive people stand by their decision to leave a relationship and resist urges to go back and try harder? >> What are some healthy ways to deal with intense nostalgia when it strikes and convinces you that you left a perfect relationship? >>Despite knowing this person is not right for me, my brain goes into survival mode and has this insane desperation to continue to reach out and repair. Also is hard to see red flags when you’re in it; hindsight is 20/20 >>Is it possible to stop loving someone when you don’t want to love them anymore? I already consciously decided to leave the relationship I’m currently in but the thought of actually initiating a break up literally sounds like the worst thing ever. The book I think will help that I mention during the episode ca

In this episode I answer the audience question: Do you any tips on what to do about "social anxiety" around applying for a new job? I get overwhelmed every time I apply, feeling that I’m not enough and that I’ll hate the job when I get it… For helpful resources around this issue check out this book: https://amzn.to/2Qwq73O And for skills around this issue, check out this book: https://amzn.to/2Qs4kdx For more of my writing and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi friends, in this Q&A episode I answer just one question from a college student about how to accept yourself when you're not feeling confident in life. So if you're starting out in your adult life and you feel like a fraud, this is for you! If you want to check out more of my writing or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com and have a happy holiday xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a biggie, and the subject is not simple - however, I am going to try and chip off a small piece of the iceberg that is the issue of disordered eating. Because disordered eating is rampant in today’s society! It’s like the more we focus on ourselves, the more we pick those selves apart, and the more disconnected from our bodies and what they need, we become. What I’m covering is how to begin the process of conquering a binge-eating disorder – whether that’s just binging or binging and purging. I think it will still apply to you if you suffer from any disordered eating but it’s a request from someone asking specifically about binging. If you are on the fence about whether or not this episode will apply to you – I’ll ask you this: Are you trapped in a cycle of obsession that occupies a majority of your time and worry? Are you constantly fixated on the scale? Do you find yourself constantly needing to exercise for fear you won’t burn enough calories today? Are you living your life – or is the routine of t

This is a power-up episode just to invite you all to become familiar with the mind machine. The “computer” that helps us, keeps us driven and safe – but at times also hurts us – in that it reduces us to a base-level self. That self that feels small and wounded when we feel slighted, or mean and bitey when we feel judgmental. The goal of this is really just to become familiar with its tendencies so that you might you’re your choices despite it when it is not serving you. By "it" I mean your inner narrative. Because yes, you are a thinking being – but you are much more than your thoughts. Your thoughts are a thing that happens to you in you’re your body. You are the passive observer behind them. When we are overly identified with our thoughts – this can bring about a lot of pain. It’s much less painful when we can remind ourselves in the moment that it’s optional – and dis-indentify with the thinking in that moment. SO here’s what this power-up is. An explanation combined with a series of thought-exercises to d