Sex With Dr. Jess

Dr. Shari Nicole, Psychologist and Key Consultant of Everyday Psychology, joins us to talk about the importance and challenge of adult friendships. We discuss cutoff culture, attachments styles, boosting confidence and more including answers to these common questions: How many friends do most people have? How do childhood experiences affect adult friendships? How do you know if a friendship is worth saving? How do you know that it’s time to break up with a friend? How do you go about breaking up with a friend? How do friendships affect intimate relationships? How do friendships differ according to gender? How can you be more confident in your friendships? Follow Dr. Shari on Instagram and Facebook. Be sure to check out her podcast 3 Psychs and a Mic. Please see here for a rough version of this transcript. This podcast has been sponsored by Let’sGetChecked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout!       If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As wel

Thanks to medical research and breakthroughs, we now have the tools to end the HIV epidemic. Unfortunately, we’re still a long way off on account of stigma, misinformation and a lack of awareness with regard to prevention options. So it’s essential that we talk about it. Brad McElya, joins us to take a deeper dive into the topic of HIV and answers your questions including: How have approaches to HIV shifted since the 80s? Is HIV transmission possible if you have an undetectable viral load? What is PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) and how does it work to prevent transmission? Who should consider PrEP? Why is HIV still an epidemic when we have the tools to eradicate it? How do we chip away at the stigma that hinders testing, prevention and treatment? How can we normalize conversations about HIV and how can your local pharmacist help? We also discuss the new ArcWave Ion and Brandon provides a very personal and detailed review of his first time using this stroker + pleasure-air technology. You don

How are trauma and liberation linked? How does trauma show up in the body? And how can you begin to heal? How does trauma play out in sex and relationships? How can you support a partner who has experienced sexual trauma? How do you talk to a new partner if you’re a survivor of sexual assault? How can therapists improve the way they support clients and what can clients ask of therapists to improve their experience in therapy? Therapist Rafaella Smith-Fiallo of Healing Exchange & Afrosexology joins us to share her perspective, expertise and advice. She explores pleasure politics, liberation psychology, social justice, and embodiment as approaches and tools for healing. Follow Rafaella on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. Based on the discussion in this podcast, check out the latest events from Afrosexology here. Click here to learn more about Healing for Bibliophiles. Also, consider the You For You Retreat in October 2021, I hope to see you there! Please see here for a rough version of this transc

The unapologetic sexologist, Michelle Hope, joins us to chat about HIV stigma, forced sterilization, COMMUNITYx, reproductive justice and more. We also address listener questions about anal sex, positions for a tilted cervix and loss of libido. Follow Michelle on Instagram, Twitter & Facebook. The COMMUNITYx App is the premier Social Network for Social Good. Built by changemakers, for changemakers, COMMUNITYx puts organizing and connecting around vital issues at the forefront, without the distractions of other social platforms. The App allows like-minded people from around the world to connect and mobilize in an effort to address some of society's most pressing social issues, allowing members to create a variety of calls-to-action all in one place. Founded in 2019, by Chloe Cheyenne, since its launch, Chloë and COMMUNITYx have earned major accolades such as being recognized by Forbes 30 Under 30 as the #1 Startup of The Year and is also a Techstars Portfolio Company.       If you’ve got questions or

This week Jess and Brandon discuss a new project with Walgreens related to PrEP, medication that reduces the sexual transmission of HIV by over 99%. They discuss Jess’ early work in sex education and answer listener questions including: How can I initiate sex with confidence? How do you flirt? What are the “apology languages”? How do you keep your cool during conflict? How can I get my partner to be more dominant in bed? To learn more about Walgreens PrEP, click here. Rough transcript of this podcast below: Brandon: Welcome! Hope everyone is well. Jess: I’m really excited because I’m swamped this week and I like the buzz. I have lots going on with V-Day on the horizon and a big announcement as well, so I’ll start with that topic, as it relates to HIV prevention and involves a new partner and I really think that raising awareness of this topic can make a big difference because While rates of HIV in the U.S. have continued to decrease, but the epidemic is far from over. During the COVID-19 pande

Kevin Patterson & Dr. Liz Powell join us to talk about their new course, Unf*ck Your Polyamory Pro — for both individuals, couples, groups and professionals. They discuss shame, stigma, stereotypes, metamours, toxic monogamy, hierarchies, compersion and lessons that we can all learn from — regardless of whether we consider ourselves monogamous, ethically non-monogamous or otherwise inclined. Follow Dr. Liz on Twitter & Instagram. Follow Kevin on Instagram, Facebook & Twitter. To learn more about the We-Vibe Tango X that Jess referenced in this episode, click here. This podcast has been sponsored by Let’sGetChecked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout!       If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitche

Courtney Brame founded Something Positive for Positive People after his own herpes diagnosis and through his non-profit and podcast, he shares real stories and resources for people with positive STI diagnoses. He joins us to discuss shame, stigma, dating, suicide prevention and more including: How he felt when he was first diagnosed How he navigated the dating world post-diagnosis How people respond when he shares his positive status How to disclose to a new partner How herpes serves as a compass for the body and self-care The costs of herpes jokes How we can reduce the shame and stigma How to build a support system after a diagnosis Check out the Something Positive for Positive People Podcast. Follow Courtney on Facebook, Instagram & Twitter. This podcast has been sponsored by Let’sGetChecked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout!       If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your m

Psychotherapist, Farzana Doctor, joins us to discuss her latest novel, Seven. She shares her own story as a survivor and an activist and discusses the role the body can play in healing. She also sheds light on the practice of female genital mutilation and cutting, which occurs in all corners of the globe, including North America. We discuss somatic therapy, labiaplasty, and the perils of white saviorism as well as her journey of healing post trauma. Follow Farzana on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. Use code DOCTOR25 for 25% off Seven at Dundurn Publishers! This podcast has been sponsored by Let’sGetChecked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout!       If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rou

This week we explore the research that connects sleep and rest with sex and relationships. Dionne Roberts joins us as we discuss: How your sleep affects your connection and conflict How Yoga Nidra can be used to address sleep deprivation and improve relationships Sound baths How to reduce stress in the name of overall health and happier relationships How to let go of the mindsets that cause stress and hinder relaxation Follow Dionne on Instagram, Facebook & Twitter. It's not too late to sign up for her Rest & Digest Virtual Retreat happening today! Check out her Youtube channel, and let her walk you through one of her Yoga Nidra practices below! This podcast has been sponsored by Let’sGetChecked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout!       If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be

How does a survival mindset affect sexuality? How does history and oppression shape sexuality for Black women? How do you learn to love your body and give yourself permission to embrace pleasure? How do you really fall in love with yourself? How does code switching affect sex and relationships? How do we unlearn embedded messages that hold us back in life and in love? Community Psychologist and Sexologist, Author and Professor Dr. Hareder McDowell joins us to share her experience and insights. Follow Dr. McDowell on Facebook and Instagram. Follow P.R.E.T.T.Y. INC. on Instagram and Twitter. And if you need to do some belated holiday gift shopping, use code DRJESS for a small discount on Womanizer products! This podcast has been sponsored by Let’sGetChecked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout!       If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s h

This is your ultimate guide to the G-Spot, G-Zone, ejaculation, squirting and more! We answer all of your questions including: Can everyone have a squirter orgasm? How do you learn to squirt? What is the G-Spot and what is the G-Zone? Is there a difference between squirting and ejaculation? What is a squirter orgasm? Can you ejaculate without having an orgasm? How can you stimulate the G-Zone? What are the best toys for G-Zone stimulation? What toys can help you to squirt? Does the volume of ejaculate relate to the intensity of the orgasm? And much more! To learn more about the products that can potentially stimulate the g-spot, check out the Womanizer Duo, the We-Vibe Rave, Crave's Flex Vibrator, and the We-Vibe Nova 2. This podcast has been sponsored by Let’sGetChecked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout!       If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in

There is almost nothing better than sharing how you feel about your partner, and this “dating profile” gift is a simple, but powerful gift that keeps on giving. This week, Jess’ cousins Annabella & Denise join us to share this homemade, no-cost, gift: A dating profile written for a loved one. Jess also shares one she wrote for her Mom, and Brandon and Jess share one another’s. We encourage you to try this one yourself and let us know how it goes! Rough transcript of the podcast below: Welcome. It’s the end of the year and there is no better time to check in with your health. And our partner LetsGetChecked lets you do all of your health testing from home — from hormones to thyroid to STIs to cholesterol to iron to lime disease — test from home, send it in and get secure results online. Go to LetsGetChecked.com and please use code DRJESS to save and to let them know you heard about their services here. Last year around this time, Brandon and I did an exercise based on a 2017 article in the NYT entitled, 'Y

After 46 years of writing about sexuality and the more than 12,000 sex questions answered, Michael Castleman is well positioned to weigh in on all things sex. He joins us to discuss his experience as the world’s most popular sex writer and together we address a buffet of questions including: What is sex like in your 70s? Why is full body pleasure so important? What were Brandon’s early sexual experiences? How can we master ejaculatory control and deal with premature ejaculation? What really makes a penis better in bed? What myths are destroying sex for men? What are the most common questions men (Playboy readers) had in the 90s? How do you spread arousal from head to toe? How do you replace genital focus with playfulness? What is sensate focus? How to get over penis preoccupation? Is sex addiction an industry or a diagnosis? Check out Castleman’s upcoming book, Sizzling Sex for Life: Everything You Need to Know to Maximize Erotic Pleasure at Any Age. Follow Michael on Facebook and Tw

In this episode, we chat about our own issues with food as a couple — fights from our past, lessons we’ve learned, and the ways in which individual and cultural differences influence our expectations. We also answer some listener questions including: How do I get over feelings of worthlessness related to my partner not having an orgasm? How do I get more comfortable with masturbation? How can I learn to orgasm without a toy? Is it normal to not enjoy clitoral stimulation? What is mindful masturbation? If you’ve got questions for the podcast, please send them our way! And feel free to share your food fight (or harmony) stories as well.       If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Roug

Do you talk about the role technology plays in your relationships — for better or worse? This week, we discuss some of the ways in which technology interferes with connection and explore an important conversation all couples (and singles!) can use to minimize technoference. We also discuss anxiety related to tech and the pandemic, share strategies to change the way we use technology, and answer a listener question about how to respond to a sticky situation with a new beau. Consider these prompts to start this important conversation: Technology  1. How do you feel the use of tech devices affects your relationship? Be specific. 2. How do you feel about electronics in the bedroom or at the table (or elsewhere)? 3. How often do you want to be connected/disconnected? 4. Why are you drawn to your phone/device? 5. Would you like to reduce your use of technology when you’re together? If so, why? 6. How do you feel when your partner is on their phone in different scenarios/environments (e.g. in bed, at the table, w

Psychologist Dr. Gina Di Giulio joins us to discuss Covid anxiety, CBT, and the ways in which attachment styles affect our relationships. She walks us through the three dimensions of attachment theory as well as the four main styles of attachment. Jess and Brandon open up about their own irritability and frustrations and they discuss cognitive strategies to increase feelings of security. And on a totally separate note, Jess also weighs in on a listener question regarding how to ride like a pro! Check out Dr. Gina's notes below... Attachment theory: How we attach to other adults strongly corresponds to how we attach to others, especially our primary caregivers, as a child. Adults with different attachment styles will differ in terms of how they deal with emotional intimacy How they communicate in relationships, in terms of their needs and wants, how readily they are willing to consider others' as well How much they trust others, how vulnerable they're willing to be in relationships How they respond

Sexologist Ashely Cobb joins us to talk about her new program Hoe and Tell as well as to answer a ton of sex & relationship questions including: What is pegging? What sexual secrets are your friends and neighbours harbouring? How do I get my shy partner to make noise in bed? How do I introduce something new? Does everyone need lube? Can you get good sex ed on Tik Tok? How do you let go of sexual shame that is tied to religion? What are might-as-well relationships and what can we do about them? How to ditch pressures related to family and cultural expectations. Should a couple really operate as a unit? What questions should you ask before you get into a committed relationship? Is it okay to not like blow jobs? Follow Ashley on Facebook, Instagram & Twitter. Also, check out Ashley's podcast, Hoe and Tell.       If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a

We talk labia, penis size, public relationships, consensual non-monogamy and more with Taylor Nolan. Taylor is a psychotherapist who appeared on ABC's The Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise. She hosts her own podcast and is recognized on social media for being outspoken and vulnerable on issues around  intersectional feminism, animal rescue, and mental and sexual health. Follow Taylor on Instagram & Twitter. Check out Taylor's podcast, Let's Talk About It! Here are a few notes on our discussion of labia... Why are we so obsessed with the way our labia looks? Because we have very few opportunities to see real naked bodies, we tend to draw our expectations from porn. But porn, as we know, is not generally representative of the general population. The bodies depicted tend to reflect one specific standard and oftentimes don’t align with what we see in ourselves. When it comes to how we view our labia, we may want to thicken, shorten, lengthen, or lighten ours to match what we see in porn. These unrealistic exp

How’s your penis doing? How’s your diet and how does it relate to the pleasure you experience? And how can you have better anal sex? Sexual Medicine fellow & LGBTQ advocate, Dr. Josh Gonzalez, MD, joins us to discuss arousal, orgasm, ejaculation, erection, pain and more. He shares his expertise and answers your questions including: What’s the best diet for your penis? How can you deal with painful ejaculation? What is a muted orgasm? How can you deal with delayed ejaculation? What are excitatory neurotransmitters? What is soft glans and what are your treatment options? What is Peyronie’s and how can it be treated? How do some antidepressants inhibit and help and harm sexual pleasure including orgasm and desire? Follow Dr. Josh Gonzalez on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram. Check out his recent articles on the Astroglide blog here. This podcast is brought to you by Cliovana.              If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now

The brilliant Dr. Lexx Brown-James joins us to share their insights and answers your sex & relationship questions including: How to deal with feelings of rejection. What’s the real difference between truth and honesty. What to do when you or your lover lose their erection. Managing feelings related to weight gain and why more weight can mean more pleasure! How to get over fears of initiating sex. How to feel worthy of love, sex and pleasure without the pressure to “do more” in bed. Follow Dr. Lexx on Instagram, Twitter & Facebook. This podcast is brought to you by Cliovana.  If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so p