With Friends Like These

After the horrifying massacre in El Paso, host Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) and former Minneapolis mayor Betsy Hodges (@BetsyHodges) navigate a complex discussion about race in America that’s all too relevant. Together, they break down the many ways in which racist structures diffuse and reinforce white supremacy. They also tackle the merits (or lack thereof) of calling someone ‘racist,’ and enter into a profound discussion centering around whether white people are “deserving of love.” For their answers on all these topics and much more, join us today. Show references: Diana Butler Bass - All I Need Is Right Here Betsy Hodges was the 47th mayor of Minneapolis. Mayor Hodges currently serves as an advisor to cities and mayors to improve equitable outcomes for people of color, she is a Fellow with the Atlantic Fellowship for Racial Equity (AFRE), and the Aspen Institute. Recently, she served as a Residential Fellow at the Harvard Kennedy School Institute of Politics. She has written about politics and race for C

Content Warning: Sexual Assault. In this week’s episode, E. Jean Carroll (@ejeancarroll) joins Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) to answer the age old question: do women really need men? E. Jean tells us about the road trip through femme-named towns and surprise interviews that forms the center of her new memoir, What Do We Need Men for: A Modest Proposal. In this frank conversation, E. Jean speaks about her rape at the hand of the President of the United States, and the coping mechanisms she used to survive. Ana reveals a complicated history of similar experiences, and both women discuss the enormous scrutiny victims face when they come forward, but lose their narrative to the media. If you can, please donate to RAINN. Thanks to our sponsors!  ThirdLove uses data points generated by millions of women who have taken their Fit Finder quiz, to design bras with breast size and shape in mind for a perfect fit and premium feel. Answer a few simple questions to find your perfect fit in 60 seconds. Go to THIRDLOVE.com/

In this week’s fascinating episode, Alexandra Minna Stern joins Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) to discuss how white supremicst and white nationalist ideologies became so entrenched in our current political landscape. We’re now in the age of Proud Boys running for office and Alexandra’s new book, Proud Boys and the White Ethnostate: How the Alt-Right Is Warping the American Imagination is the perfect launching pad into the deep, dark underbelly of modern white supremicist media and ideology. Together, they tackle several key issues including how to cover these groups without inflating them and the oft underreported emphasis these groups place on transhophic and misogynist ideologies. Thanks to our sponsors!  Everlane only makes premium essentials, using the finest materials, without traditional markups. Right now, you can check out our personalized collection at Everlane.com/FRIENDS and get free shipping on your first order. We all want to do the right thing to keep our bodies healthy in the long run. It’s only

This week Amber Scorah (@amberscorah) and Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) discuss Amber’s new book - Leaving the Witness: Exiting a Religion and Finding a Life. Together, they break into Amber’s former faith with the Jehovah's Witnesses, her complicated marital affair, and a subsequent exit from the church. Amber opens up about her current outlook on religion, and explains how she came to terms with her son’s sudden death. It’s more heartwarming than it sounds, we promise! Thanks to our sponsors! Did you know that millennials have 3 times as much student debt as their parents? That’s not right. But you can get your student loans right by refinancing your loans with SoFi.  It’s a fast and easy process––all online––and only takes 2 minutes to check your rate. Refinancing your student loans could save you thousands. Check your rate in 2 minutes on sofi.com/CROOKED.  Rothy’s are the everyday flats for life on the go. They’re stylish and versatile, and they go with everything from yoga pants to dresses and skirts.

Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) and Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) meet for their monthly airing of grievances. Rick and Ana discuss how America is quickly becoming dismissed on the world stage, why a White House social media summit is the pinnacle of dum-dum behavior, how fetishization of normalization is unpleasant, and how the executive order overreaches of the Obama administration (which once caused Republicans to self-immolate) seem quaint in retrospect. Also: A New Game! (What? We can have new games. Lovett doesn’t have a trademark on new games. Lovett, come play our games!) Thanks to our sponsors!  It’s time for spring cleaning. Quip’s got an easy way to start — with your brushing habits. Just two minutes, twice a day can help pave the way to a healthier mouth and mind. And now the whole family can get refreshed with quip. Quip starts at just $25 and if you go to GETQUIP.com/FRIENDS right now, you can get your first refill pack for FREE. With Stamps.com you can access all the amazing services of the Post

This week Shannon Watts (@shannonrwatts) joins Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) to discuss how she built the anti-gun violence group Moms Demand Action from the ground up. Shannon’s new book Fight Like A Mother is both a memoir, but also a handbook for replicating these triumphs, as a sort of Activism for Dummies. Ana and Shannon honestly examine MDA’s origins, successes, goals, failures, and how to forge intersectional relationships with surprising allies. Thanks to our Sponsors! ThirdLove uses data points generated by millions of women who have taken their Fit Finder quiz, to design bras with breast size and shape in mind for a perfect fit and premium feel. Answer a few simple questions to find your perfect fit in 60 seconds. Go to THIRDLOVE.com/FRIENDS now to find your perfect-fitting bra… and get 15% off your first purchase! When it comes to shopping for clothes most of us are amateurs. So why not let the professionals handle it? Stitch Fix is an online personal styling service that delivers your favorite c

This week Anna Merlan (@annamerlan) helps us Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) parse America’s increasingly conspiratorial culture. Anna spent eight years covering conspiracy groups and just came out with a book, Republic of Lies: American Conspiracy Theorists and Their Surprising Rise to Power. Join us as we discuss vaccinations, UFOs, spying on Quakers, and finding a path forward. Also, check out our bonus mega-mix of Anna Merlin, Will Sommer, Heather Armstrong, Tommy Orange, Will Sommer again, and Vann Newkirk and their most ridiculous secret beliefs. (We had to end Conspiracy Month in the strangest way possible.) Thanks to our sponsors!  Blinkist is the only app that takes the best key takeaways, the need-to-know information from thousands of nonfiction books and condense them down into just 15 minutes that you can read or listen to. Blinkist has a special offer just for our audience. Go to Blinkist.com/withfriends to start your free 7 day trial. Bombas are made from super-soft, natural cotton, and every pai

This week Vann Newkirk (@fivefifths) joins Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) to discuss conspiracy and its complex relationship with marginalized groups. Why does conspiratorial thinking appeal to those who feel “othered” within their society? Vann walks us through how the historic mistreatment of people of color has created a baseline of skepticism that can grow into full-on conspiracy. As Vann says: “Black Americans’ belief in conspiracy theories is like the Farmers’ Almanac: accurate enough to keep using.” Thanks to our Sponsors! Most of us have the best of intentions to eat better, cut back on takeout, and spend more time with the family. And then real life happens. Gobble is the meal prep delivery service designed for real life. Get 6 Meals for Just $36, plus Free Shipping when you go to Gobble.com/FRIENDS. A good night’s sleep is like a magic remedy for the brain and body. When we sleep well, we’re more focused and relaxed. And best of all, sleep makes us happier. To establish new habits that support your ha

This week Will Sommer (@willsommer) joins Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) for a discussion of his work in exploring the wide-spread radicalization of mostly middle-aged people who think a shadowy cabal is going to take revenge on everyone they don’t like. And also make other people (including the still living JFK Jr.) like them and support their cause? QAnon, it turns out, is a bit of a mess. Which you might expect from an ideology founded on the belief that Donald Trump is out here playing three-dimensional chess to save the world. Our conspiracy theory theme month plows ahead into dangerously confusing territory, so come play 17 Questions with The Daily Beast’s specialist on all things pizza and pedophiles! Thanks to our sponsors! It’s time for spring cleaning. quip’s got an easy way to start — with your brushing habits. Just two minutes, twice a day can help pave the way to a healthier mouth and mind. And now the whole family can get refreshed with quip. Quip starts at just $25 and if you go to GET QUIP.com/

This week Jesse Walker (@notjessewalker) joins Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) for an exciting round of “Who’s Right and Who’s a Nut?” Jesse Walker reminds us that you don’t need a tinfoil hat to believe in conspiracy theories, and that they have surrounded us for centuries. Afterwards they talk about when conspiracy theories have been based in malice, versus when they have actually been true. This is your periodic reminder that the CIA is still terrifying! Afterwards, Parker Molloy (@ParkerMolloy) joins Ana to discuss the contemporary issues that face Trans individuals in Trump’s America. Parker and Ana break down the ways the Trump administration slowly and gradually peeled back the few systemic protections that protected Trans individuals. They then shift to discuss the role the ways the media fails trans individuals by not addressing the gradual implementation of anti-Trans policies.  While they navigate this modern landscape, they discuss issues that trans individuals have felt before Trump - including acc

This week Adam Savage (@donttrythis) joins Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox ) to talk about his new book “Every Tool's a Hammer: Life Is What You Make It.” They talk about glue, principles of metal working, and how to forgive yourself when you mess up. Afterwards, they talk about why we are going to need radical empathy in order to make it through these troubling times. Finally, they discuss the myths that refuse to die, including the voices in your head telling you that you are not enough. Ana is then joined by new Crooked Host Rebecca Nagle (@rebeccanagle) who talks about her new show This Land. The first episode premieres June 3rd. Subscribe now at thislandpodcast.com and wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks to our sponsors! We’ve all faced this dilemma at the end of a long day... Make a healthy, homemade dinner... OR take the quick and easy route. Gobble gives us the best of both worlds. This is the meal prep service that makes it simple to cook delicious, nutritious meals ...in just 15 minutes! Get 6 Meals

When you think of a Native American person what comes to your mind? Is it a sports decal? Is it Tonto on the Lone Ranger? Did you just think of all of the White people you know who claim to have Native ancestry? This week writer Tommy Orange (@thommyorange) joins Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) to unpack those stereotypes and talk about his book, There, There. They begin with a conversation on the violence Native people have suffered, and why resilience is not the right word. Afterwards they talk about why Native Americans are not a monolith. Finally they talked about the complexity of Thanksgiving, what schools need to change about teaching Thanksgiving, and advice for having a more mindful dinner that was originally about a land deal. Thanks to our sponsors! Some of the most important time we spend with our families is around the dinner table...Sharing our day... connecting...creating memories…Gobble gets that – This meal prep service makes it quick and easy to cook nutritious, delicious meals. Go to: Gobble.

Y’all ever create a constitutional crisis to own the libs? This week, Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) joins Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) to talk Ana down after another week of neverending bad news. They discuss light topics such as the recent pro-forced birth laws in Alabama and Georgia, the need for democrats to campaign in the Midwest, and the future of our country. Afterwards, Jordan Klepper (@jordanklepper) comes on to talk about the formation of his new show Klepper, and what it means to weaponize your privilege when your show is based on a flawed premise. Jordan reminds us that there are people working for good, and that the world is not ending quite yet-- at least not without a fight. Want to help that fight for good? Follow this link to make sure all people with uteri have access to safe abortions: https://abortionfunds.org/ We care about facts on this show! Click here for one article about Obama voters who switched to Trump. Click here for an article about Obama voters that stayed home. Click here for

CW: Depression and Suicide. If you or a loved one is struggling with depression or suicidal ideation, please call the National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255. You are worthy of love and you deserve to be alive.   This week Heather Armstrong (@dooce) joins Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox ) to discuss family, a changing work world-- and also going into several medically induced comas to cure her depression. They begin by unpacking that depression and why going to the extreme to find solutions seemed like the only option. They talk about what contributed to her depression spiral, and how she climbed her way out of it. Finally they talk about how climbing out of the hole changed her familial relationships, sometimes for the better. Tune in for a meaningful discussion on coming back from the brink. Thanks to our sponsors! Blinkist is the only app that takes the best key takeaways, the need-to-know information from thousands of nonfiction books and condenses them down into just 15 minutes so you can read or listen to

CW: Suicide and Sexual Assault What does it mean to be a well meaning white person? What does it mean to have to deal with well meaning white people? This week Damon Young (@DamonYoungVSB) joins Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) to grapple with those questions and more. They start with a conversation on vulnerability, and eventually move onto a broad discussion on race and intersectionality. Tune in for a meaningful conversation, and remember: it’s okay to be uncomfortable. Thanks to our sponsors! Some of the most important time we spend with our families is around the dinner table...Sharing our day... connecting...creating memories…Gobble gets that – This meal prep service makes it quick and easy to cook nutritious, delicious meals. Go to: Gobble.com/FRIENDS to get 6 Meals for Just $36, plus Free Shipping! Fully’s Jarvis is the best-reviewed standing desk online. Jarvis is gorgeous, and surprisingly affordable, and it will change your relationship to work. Jarvis is adjustable, so you can switch positions, whene

There are many misconceptions surrounding poverty in America. Author Stephanie Land (@stepville) joins Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) to discuss her experiences as a maid and how those myths affect policy and perceptions of low income people. They talked about what government should be doing, and what individual people can do to make other’s lives easier. Afterwards they dive into the psychological effects of poverty and coping mechanisms. Stephanie leaves us with some tangible advice: offer to babysit, and flush your damn toilet.  Interested in Stephanie’s book? Click here to purchase a copy. Thanks to our sponsors! With Gobble, your meal kit is delivered fresh to your doorstep each week. There’s no planning, shopping... or even prepping for the meal. Get dinner for two for 3 Nights – for just $36!  Only available if you go to my special URL. Get this special offer now - go to: Gobble.com/FRIENDS Have you heard about this company making stylish shoes for women and girls out of recycled plastic water bottles? O

CW: Sexual Assault Got Mueller Madness? Join Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) and Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) as they get up from a fetal position and debrief the Mueller Report. They begin with a quick review of the day from the perspective of the White House and various media outlets. Afterwards they talk about what it will take to defeat Trump in 2020, and which candidates they think can make it in this reality tv-esque election cycle. Turn off that NPR coverage and tune in. Thanks to our sponsors! The Pod by EightSleep is a high-tech bed designed specifically to help you achieve optimal sleep fitness. For a limited time, get $150 off your purchase when you go to EIGHTSLEEP.com/friends.  One of the most important things we do for our health every day is brushing our teeth, yet most of us don’t do it properly. Quip is a better electric toothbrush created by dentists and designers. quip starts at just $25 and if you go to GETQUIP.com/FRIENDS right now, you get your first refill pack for FREE with a quip electr

This week host Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) is joined by Kathleen Hall Jamieson and Jay Rosen (@jayrosen_nyu) to talk about why scrolling down your news feed has become such a painful and depressing chore. Kathleen Hall Jamieson breaks down the rise of cynicism in the last 25 years and what the American media consumer can do to turn things around. Later, Jay Rosen joins Ana to talk about why political journalists need to stop trying to outsmart each other constantly. Jay tells us, we can’t critique a bullet as it comes towards us. We promise you, there are solutions. Read more about Kathleen Hall Jamieson’s work here Read more about Jay Rosen’s work here P.S. Ana would like to attribute her line, dystopia is here, it’s just unequally distributed, to writer William Gibson. Thanks to our sponsors! Robinhood is an investing app that lets you buy and sell stocks, ETFs, options, and cryptos, all commission-free. While other brokerages charge up to $10 for every trade, Robinhood doesn’t charge any commission fees

Need some advice on how to deal with that one uncle who brings up the Birther Conspiracy at every family gathering? This week journalist Eli Saslow (@elisaslow) joins host Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) to discuss to radicalization of older people. One of our listeners, Holly Griffith, is a NASA rocket scientist. She wrote to us because she’s experienced a huge disconnect with her mother over fake news related nonsense. She called-in and discussed some of the trauma of losing a parent to Russian troll-farm memes. But that led us to asking a specialist about why 55+ is the target age for radicalizing older people with nonsense. That’s why Eli outlines how we got here and the reasons why fake news has persisted. Afterwards, there’s a discussion of the things we can do as individuals to make a difference. Although Eli tells us that you probably will not be able to straighten out your uncle by Easter or Passover dinner, he reminds us that there are plenty of success stories and that there is hope yet. Thanks to o

This week Nausheena Hussain (@nausheena) and Beth Gendler (@bethgendler) join host Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) to remind us that asking invasive questions requires a strong relationship, and that the internet is free! Nausheena and Beth talk about how their relationship formed over a common interest in stopping gun violence, and grew into a solidarity movement known as Muslim-Jewish Women on Minnesota. Afterwards they explore how White privilege affects not just their friendship, but the way that they show up for each other and how a typical meeting looks. Finally, they talk about changing minds, and when it’s time to call out, versus when it’s time to call in. Nausheena and Beth tell us that changing minds and building coalitions may seem daunting, but when in doubt, start by sharing a meal. Want to learn more about Nausheena’s work with RISE and Beth’s work with NCJW? Follow this link: https://schedule.sxsw.com/2019/events/PP82441 Follow this link to learn more about when to call in and when to call out