Dear Prudence | Advice On Relationships, Sex, Work, Family, And Life

This week Jules sits down with Raquel Willis, an award-winning activist and journalist whose work is dedicated Black trans liberation. Raquel’s new memoir, The Risk It Takes to Bloom chronicles her political and personal awakenings as a Black trans woman growing up in the south. Jules and Raquel talk grief, gender, and collective liberation. Podcast production by Palace Shaw.Email us at: outwardpodcast@slate.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On the final episode of Big Mood, Little Mood, Daniel M. Lavery reflects on more than eight years of offering advice on both this show, and Dear Prudence. As a parting gift, Lavery shares a piece that was influenced by many of the recurring conversations over his tenure titled: “Let Me Save You Some Time: A Field Guide To Avoiding Transition By Family Committee”Although this show is ending, Lavery will still be a featured guest on Slate's Outward podcast, so please do like and subscribe right here.Production by Phil Surkis Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Danny Lavery welcomes Ben Roy is a Denver-based comedian. Lavery and Roy offer advice to someone who is upset that his family is resenting his brother’s success, instead of just loving and supporting him. Another letter writer is worried about feeling guilty about being relieved that her children will no longer have to deal with their addicted father who passed away. Need advice? Send Danny a question here.Email: mood@slate.comIf you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our workProduction by Phil Surkis Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Danny Lavery welcomes Max Read, a journalist and screenwriter based in New York.Lavery and Read offer advice to someone who is regretting being a landlord to their aunt. Another letter writer is wishing they could get out of an internship, but doesn’t want to hurt the project.Need advice? Send Danny a question here.Email: mood@slate.comIf you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our workProduction by Phil Surkis Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Danny Lavery welcomes back his wife, Gracy Lavery, a writer and academic based in Brooklyn.The Lavery’s offer advice to someone who is wondering the next step in a marriage where one person desires polyamory. Another letter writer is wondering if she should response to an email from her younger brother who made her high school years hell.Need advice? Send Danny a question here.Email: mood@slate.comIf you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our workProduction by Phil Surkis Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Danny Lavery welcomes back Ben Gullard, an artist living in Brooklyn who designs exhibits for children's science museums. Lavery and Gullard offer advice to someone who is wondering how to handle a parent who forged his signature to get student loans. Another letter writer is fed up with the mother of her daughter’s friend, who is always dropping off the friend’s siblings for an “emergency” babysitting situation.Need advice? Send Danny a question here.Email: mood@slate.comIf you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our workProduction by Phil Surkis Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Danny Lavery welcomes Ben Gullard, an artist living in Brooklyn who designs exhibits for children's science museums. Lavery and Gullard offer advice to someone who doesn’t understand why his partner can’t see that their parents are abusive. Another letter writer is butting heads with her boyfriend’s sister.Need advice? Send Danny a question here.Email: mood@slate.comIf you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our workProduction by Phil Surkis Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Danny Lavery welcomes Marisa Renee Lee, a called-upon grief advocate, entrepreneur, and bestselling author of "Grief is Love: Living with Loss". Lee also regularly contributes to The Atlantic, Glamour, Vogue, MSNBC, and CNN and serves as an expert for Ritual's wellbeing app.Lavery and Lee offer advice to someone who is put off by her mom who wants to be friends with her. Another letter writer is wondering if she should let go of a friendship with someone who really doesn’t show up for her.Need advice? Send Danny a question here.Email: mood@slate.comIf you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our workProduction by Phil Surkis Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Danny Lavery welcomes Adrien Behn, the host and creator of A Race Around the World: Based on the True Adventures of Nellie Bly and Elizabeth Bisland. She is also the creator of the popular travel podcast Strangers Abroad, as well as a writer, and live storyteller.Lavery and Behn offer advice to someone who is wondering how to get a good night’s sleep living next to loud neighbors. Another letter writer is wondering how to live with an ex and avoid falling into old argument patterns.Need advice? Send Danny a question here.Email: mood@slate.comIf you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our workProduction by Phil Surkis Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Danny Lavery welcomes Katie Lawler Turnbull, a NICU nurse of 17 years and a Master's in Human Rights.Lavery and Turnbull offer advice to someone who is wondering if they should attend a codependent support group, now that they’re feeling better. Another letter writer is asking how they should treat a sibling who just revealed themselves as transphobic.Need advice? Send Danny a question here.Email: mood@slate.comIf you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our workProduction by Phil Surkis Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Danny Lavery welcomes back Carmen Rita Wong, the author of Why Didn't You Tell Me?: A Memoir. Wong has also written Never Too Real and Never Too Late, and she heads up Malecon Productions, a company focusing on women-led content. Lavery and Wong give advice to someone who wonders if there is hope to deradicalize their cousin who is sliding far-right. Another letter writer is considering not taking a job, as they are questioning her about wearing a mask.Need advice? Send Danny a question here.Email: mood@slate.comIf you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our workProduction by Phil Surkis Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Danny Lavery welcomes writer Rose Tremlett, who co-hosts an optimisation podcast for the online edition of the German national newspaper, DIE ZEIT. Lavery and Tremlett give advice to someone who is confused about the messages her boyfriend gives her about the possibility of cohabitation. Another letter writer feels guilty about cutting off an ongoing correspondence with someone in prison.Need advice? Send Danny a question here.Email: mood@slate.comIf you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our workProduction by Phil Surkis Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Danny Lavery welcomes Emma Arnold, a comedian, artist, and beekeeper, who recently released a comedy special and album called MYSELF. She is also the host of the City Cast Boise podcast.Lavery and Arnold give advice to someone who wants to stop feeling dread about aging and the world in general. Another letter writer wants to help a destitute friend in need of support. Need advice? Send Danny a question here.Email: mood@slate.comIf you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our workProduction by Phil Surkis Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Danny Lavery welcomes Leo Briggs and HG Gruebmeyer, who wrote and performed the play CVS, which premiered this past year at the Seven Stages Theater in Atlanta.Lavery, Briggs, and Gruebmeyer offer advice to someone who is growing weary of her bestie’s contant boyfriend drama. Another letter writer is wondering if they should discuss politics within their friend group. Plus, a deep dive on the making of the play, CVS.Need advice? Send Danny a question here.Email: mood@slate.comIf you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our workProduction by Phil Surkis Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Danny Lavery welcomes Felicia Reich, a nonfiction comedy writer of personal essays and cultural commentary based in Brooklyn, NY.Lavery and Reich offer advice to someone who feels uncomfortable dating one particular person, while exploring sex with multiple partners. Another letter writer wishes an aunt would stop making up stories about her childhood.Need advice? Send Danny a question here.Email: mood@slate.comIf you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our workProduction by Phil Surkis Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Danny Lavery welcomes Auyon Mukharji, a writer and musician based in Massachusetts. He is a member of the band Darlingside, and is working on an Indian cookbook with his mother, Jyoti.Lavery and Mukharji offer advice to someone who is troubled that his boyfriend resents him for blowing up their friend group. Another letter writer wants his boyfriend to reveal their relationship to his parents. Need advice? Send Danny a question here.Email: mood@slate.comIf you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our workProduction by Phil Surkis Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Danny Lavery welcomes poet Elisa Gonzalez, whose first book, Grand Tour, will be published this month.Lavery and Gonzalez offer advice to someone who feels responsible for complicating their friend’s life by sparking their interest in transitioning. Another letter writer is wondering at what point would it be less painful to move on from an unsupportive dad. Plus a listener writes in to comment on the episode “Time to Move On”.Need advice? Send Danny a question here.Email: mood@slate.comIf you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our workProduction by Phil Surkis Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Danny Lavery welcomes Julia Mounsey, a director and writer whose work has been presented at Under the Radar at the Public Theater, Soho Rep, JACK, Dixon Place, and the Deutsches Schauspielhaus in Hamburg.Lavery and Mounsey offer advice to someone who is wondering if they should honor their mother’s request to keep their abusive upbringing a secret. Another letter writer is wondering how to help a friend who is always getting in relationships that keep him unhappy. Plus, a listener's response to the letter “Grandma McGruff”.Need advice? Send Danny a question here.Email: mood@slate.comIf you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our workProduction by Phil Surkis Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Danny Lavery welcomes Vani Gupta, a speech language pathologist in Sydney, Australia. Lavery and Gupta offer advice to someone who upset their husband after revealing that her former therapist and her used to flirt in therapy. Plus, an update on the letter “Clingy Sister Syndrome”, which appeared in our September 13th, 2022 episode.Need advice? Send Danny a question here.Email: mood@slate.comIf you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our workProduction by Phil Surkis Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Danny Lavery offers advice to someone who wants to connect to their body as actually part of themself. Another letter writer is troubled that their partner’s partner never pays for anything. Plus, a listener comments about ways to advocate for foster youth.Need advice? Send Danny a question here.Email: mood@slate.comIf you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our workProduction by Phil Surkis Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.