My Brother, My Brother And Me

We have been smashed to pieces by our recent viewing of Hobbs and Shaw, which may explain the somewhat punch-drunk nature of today’s episode. It’s also possible we’ve been sprayed with some kind of Jason Statham neurotoxin. In either case: Enjoy! Suggested talking points: 5DXXX, Neighbor Lube, Buying Money, Potential Golf Family, Secret Chicken Debut, Chinning, Fun Facts

We spent pretty much all of last week on Island Time, which means we didn’t have time to record our japes and post them online for you, our dear friends. Instead, please enjoy this VILE episode that we did in Cleveland, a city that we ruined, with our filth.

In today’s episode, we stumble upon a new motto, a new personal mantra to guide us into the new Roarin’ 20s — but, unfortunately, it has a cuss in it. And we’re not sure if we’re allowed to put cusses in this description. We’re gonna go ask iTunes if we can cuss, BRB. Suggested talking points: San Diego Discomfort Con, Two-Step Tip, Edible Tattoos, Dirty Dog Pizza, The Bell Hotel, Beast Food

We’re heading back from book tour, making this the perfect time for us to deploy our recent live show from lovely, soggy Indianapolis. Join us for discussions on Real Life Vape Dads, and see Justin and Travis fuse into a hive mind while discussing practical pepperoni applications.

According to our editing software, this one is about 55 minutes long. Which is strange, because while we were recording in the Standing Energy Time Dilation Plane, it seemed a whole lot longer than that. Suggested talking points: Standing Energy, Joe vs. Unassigned Carbon, Jelly Bean Pouch, Secret Donuts, Unfireable (w/ Guestpert Laura Kate Dale!), A Hospital for Humans and Birds

Friends! We have a question for you: How many hot dogs did YOU eated last week? Did you do the most, out of everyone? Please tell us if you did the most, so we can give you the biggest trophy. Also, Jesse Eisenberg is in this one. Suggested talking points: Caesar Salad Contest, Viral Mom, Crush the Trash Real Small, Teen Donuts, Pee Mail (w/ Guestpert Jesse Eisenberg), Hermit Crab Distinction, Hair Ownership

All Aboard*! The Food Train’s pulling into the station, and its sixty robot chefs are prepared to meet your every culinary desire! (* - Do not board the Food Train under any circumstances. Your body will be annihilated.) Suggested talking points: Songland, Stealing a Big Lamp, The Scullery, Vacation Clothes, Reba Mayo, Intangible Cutsies

Catching the brunt of cold and flu season, which might be happening right now, we haven’t checked? Sounds like you need to up your daily intake of Vitamin Cheese. GOTTA get that good stuff in your bones. Suggested talking points: BO Doctors, The Fussy Man, Weed Boy, Birthday Role-play, Donuts and to the Left, Pigland, Shaqaroni

We bumped the Grand Ole Opry from the Ryman lineup to present our own twisted, skewed comedy to the fine folks of Nashville, Tennessee. It was a momentous show, if only for the fact that we finally struck an accord with the Sky-Warriors, and put a climactic end to our centuries-long, unbelievably costly battle.

We believe in all our listeners’ ability to enjoy the summer responsibly and jubilantly. BUT. You wanna push that stuff Over the Top? You wanna get wiiiiiiild? Then you’ve GOT to get this episode into your life. Suggested talking points: Summer Preview 2019, Daddy’s Favorite Box, Elephant Heaven, Damages, Demogorgon Desserts, Popcorn Hat, Fried Secrets

Well, we did the damn thing again. We went ahead and spent a half hour talking about Garfield. We know. It’s done, though. The episode’s already finished, and this is it, and it’s got a full 30 minutes of Garfield in there. Better luck next time. Suggested talking points: Number 38, Pork Scenes, TV Talk, Belly Pudding, 50 Riddles to Defeat Anxiety, The Complete Garfield Dining Experience

On today’s episode, we spend a while getting PUMPED for all the GREAT new television shows we’ll get to watch this year, then introduce our backdoor pilot for a food delivery brand that can transform into a bazooka-wielding beast-monster. Hollywood, you know how to reach us. Suggested talking points: Pilot Season 2019, Cool Forklift Stunts, Three-Fight Deal, Beastmates, Dantown, War Gunk, Noise Funk

Today’s episode is ALL about dad-hacks, which is to say, how to hack your dad and make him buy you AS MANY expensive fish tanks as you want. We won’t lie: It’s not gonna be easy. But when you’ve got your hands on one of these big, aquatic beauties, you’ll know it was all worth it. Suggested talking points: We The Fans, Fungus Medicine Theft, Authentic Egg Stink, Ancient Chocolates, The Earl of Earl of Sandwich, Travis Tritt’s Fish n’ Shits, Anarchist Ellen

We’re scattered hither and yon this week, so here’s our recent live show from the Shire-esque paradise known as Salt Lake City. Join us for discussions of homemade knives, skull-based fighting techniques and, hands down, the yuckiest Munch Squad ever.

A criminal crime happened in front of a breathless nation, and we’re just supposed to sit back and just like, celebrate a weak horse? This will not stand. We will not stand for it. Suggested talking point: A Robbery on the Racetrack, Darth Navarro, Batilda, Big Awesome Bones, Wet and International Hamburgers, Susan Office, A Thrifty Snip

Wake Up and Smell The Future, It’s Time For Beanjuice™! Grind up the day! Here is Beanjuice™. It is an exciting opportunity: A contest, maybe! But one thing’s for sure: High-end luxury, and youth, and it’s not the stuff that’s left over in a can of beans, so please stop telling people that. Suggested talking points: Beanjuice™, Amateur Panera Bread Server, Jerry Seinfeld: Latency-free Gamer, Off to See the Lizard, Rob Lowe’s Murderglobes, Accidental Butt Smack

Keep your head on a swivel as we celebrate this birthday season, because there’s a LOT OF STUFF out to get us. Fridge traps, Cager the Basketball Monster, Minecraft Spiders — just, like, look lively, friends. Suggested talking points: Creams and Cakes, Birthday Boy Billy, Guinea Pig Brother, Fridge Epidemic, Disrespectful Hoops, Happy Taste Good, Joe’s Apartment But With Spiders, Boo Club

Take a load off, friends. We know you’ve got your fair share of worries — heck, we all do. We’re here for you! Just whisper ‘em right here, right up our shirt sleeve. Let the shirt do the rest. Suggested talking points: The Taxmen Cameth, The Good New Art, Moto Dog, Ticket to Family, Cavemans, Pretzel Abominations, Bustin’ In, Koi Care

We apologize to the city of San Jose for how many pranks we did on this episode, in which we celebrated the Great Pranking Day while recording a live show. If you want to be similarly pranked, good news! This episode also has details on the Become the Monster tour, coming (maybe) to a city near you!

Wow, oh boy, do we hope you love benign observational humor. Oh jeez. We’ve really put all our chips down on benign observational humor, and if that doesn’t pay off — yikes! We’re gonna lose our shirts! Suggested talking points: PGA Street Ball, Owl Trust, Bug Armor, Emergency Greeting Card, Jacked Triton, A Wet Edible Aggro Crag, Candy Boss, The Ravioli Beast