The Art Of Manliness

The awkward silence at work when everyone knows a project is going off the rails.The simmering resentment in a marriage over an issue neither spouse will confront.The dysfunction in a church where certain topics are understood to be off-limits.My guest, Joseph Grenny, says that some of the biggest problems in every organization, from businesses to families, aren't the issues themselves, but people's inability to talk about them. Joseph is a business social scientist and consultant, and the co-author of the bestselling book Crucial Conversations. For decades, he’s studied why people shut down or blow up when the stakes are high, emotions are strong, and opinions differ.Today on the show, we talk about what makes a conversation “crucial,” why our brains betray us in conflict, and how to escape the false choice between maintaining a relationship and speaking honestly. From figuring out what kind of conversation you need to have, to creating the right conditions for connection, to dealing with criticism, we unpac

Of all the books in the Bible, Ecclesiastes is arguably the most philosophical. Dark, experiential, existential, and unsparingly honest about the human condition, it wrestles with work, money, ambition, pleasure, time, and death — and it does so in a way that feels uncannily modern. Whether you approach it as sacred scripture or simply as ancient wisdom literature, Ecclesiastes has something to say to anyone who’s ever chased success, gotten what they wanted, and then wondered, Is this really it?Here to unpack this ancient philosophy is Bobby Jamieson, a pastor and the author of Everything Is Never Enough: Ecclesiastes’ Surprising Path to Resilient Happiness. We discuss why Ecclesiastes resonates so strongly in our age of acceleration and control, why so much of life can feel absurd and unsatisfying, and how the book ultimately shows us how to enjoy — and even embrace — what first appears to be vanity of vanities.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Podcast #956: Feeling Depressed and Discombobulated? Social A

Not long ago, the primary concern people had about boys was that they were wild, impulsive, and out of control — getting into fights, pushing limits, and stirring up trouble. Today, the problem has flipped. The more common challenge isn’t reckless behavior, but inert passivity. More and more young men are anxious, apathetic, socially isolated, and seemingly uninterested in doing much of anything at all.Vince Benevento, the founder of Causeway Collaborative — a male-specific counseling center — and the author of Boys Will Be Men: 8 Lessons for the Lost American Male, has spent nearly two decades working on the front lines of this shift. As a therapist, coach, and mentor who specializes in helping young men between the ages of 14 and 30, Vince has worked with both the combustible and the checked-out and developed a clear, experience-honed framework for what actually helps guys get unstuck, take ownership of their lives, and move forward with purpose.In today’s conversation, we unpack what Vince has learned

We’ve all had that feeling — you meet someone new, and the conversation just flows. You’re in sync. You click. But what’s really happening when that magic occurs?My guest today is journalist Kate Murphy, author of Why We Click: The Emerging Science of Interpersonal Synchrony, and she says this experience isn’t just a vibe, it’s a measurable physiological phenomenon and the most consequential social dynamic most people have never heard of. In our conversation, we dig into what happens when people click, why syncing with others feels so good, and how it influences everything from friendships to teamwork to romantic relationships. We also talk about why some people have a knack for connection, how you can become more “clickable,” and why video calls are the worst.Resources Related to the PodcastDying Breed article: Resonance as an Antidote to Social AccelerationKate's previous book: You're Not ListeningSunday Firesides: Be Someone's Atmospheric GetawayAoM Article: The Importance of Eye ContactSee Privacy Po

American football is so big — so braided into our weekends, our language, and our culture — that it can be hard to see it clearly as a whole.In his new book, Football, Chuck Klosterman helps us see the game from unexpected angles, and argues that football isn’t just a sport, it’s a kind of national operating system. Chuck explains how it became the dominant televised spectacle in America, despite having elements that should count against it. We then explore football as a simulation — of war, of reality, and even of itself — and how its simulation through video games has actually fed back into the sport itself. We also talk about who Chuck thinks is the GOAT (hint: it's not Tom Brady), and the difference between achievement and greatness. At the end of our conversation, Chuck lays out a compelling argument for why football may be headed for a steep and surprising fall.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Podcast #248: Why Football MattersAoM Podcast #1,061: Are You Not Entertained? The Myths and Truth

We usually think of money as something very practical, concrete, and secular; we earn it, save it, spend it, and crunch the numbers behind it. But money is never just about money: it reflects our values, our priorities — and even our spiritual life.My guest today, Tom Levinson, knows this well. He’s a financial advisor who studied religion at Harvard Divinity School and thought about becoming a rabbi. Now, he helps people navigate not just their portfolios, but the deeper questions that come with them.In today’s conversation, Tom shares the greater meaning around money, what the Jewish, Christian, and Islamic religions say about it, and how financial practices like budgeting can be spiritual disciplines.Resources Related to the PodcastAll That's Holy: A Young Guy, an Old Car, and the Search for God in America by Tom LevinsonAoM Article: The Spiritual Disciplines — SimplicityAoM Podcast #363: Budgeting Doesn’t Have to SuckConnect With Tom LevinsonTom's podcast: Money, Meet MeaningTom on LinkedInThanks to

For decades, fitness culture has tended to break people into two categories: you’re either a strength guy or an endurance guy. You lift heavy or run far — but not both.But my guest today says you don't have to choose; you can excel at both modalities and be ready for anything.Alex Viada is a coach, a physiologist, and the author of The Hybrid Athlete. He’s a powerlifter who's also completed Ironman triathlons, and he's deadlifted 700 pounds and run an ultramarathon in the same week. Even if your goals are much more modest — you'd like to, say, set some weightlifting PRs in the gym and be able to run a decent 5k — Alex's training philosophy can help you combine lifting and endurance in a smart, sustainable way that builds true all-around fitness.In our conversation, Alex explains how to combine training for strength with distance sports like running or cycling, how to test your progress, how to recognize and avoid the two kinds of fatigue, and why becoming a hybrid athlete will help you live more adventurously

Most of us chase goals — starting a business, running a marathon, getting a promotion — without ever asking: What are the actual odds this will work?My guest today says those odds aren’t just graspable — they’re hackable.Kyle Austin Young is a strategy consultant and the author of Success Is a Numbers Game. He argues that every goal comes with a hidden probability of success or failure, and by thinking strategically — rather than just hoping for the best — you can tilt the odds in your favor.In the first part of our conversation, Kyle explains the three common ways people pursue goals and their potential downsides. We then unpack how to approach your goals through probability hacking. We discuss how to spot the weak links in your plan, how to map out a “success diagram” that helps you avoid common pitfalls and pursue goals more intelligently, and how to use these same principles to know when you should quit a goal.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Podcast #387: Think Like a Poker Player to Make Better Decis

Note: This is a rebroadcast. Happiness is the subject of thousands of articles, podcasts, and scientific studies. Yet all this focus on happiness doesn’t seem to be making people any happier. In fact, the more they try to be happy, especially by fighting to get rid of bad feelings and cling to good ones, the more unhappy people often become.My guest would say that the first step in escaping this negative cycle is redefining what happiness even means — thinking of it not as a state of feeling good but of doing good.His name is Russ Harris and he’s a therapist and the author of The Happiness Trap.Today on the show, Russ explains how struggling against difficult feelings and thoughts just makes them stronger — amplifying instead of diminishing stress, anxiety, depression, and self-consciousness — and how simply obeying your emotions doesn’t work out any better. He then unpacks the alternative approach to happiness espoused by Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. With ACT, you allow both ha

Books are everywhere. They're so common, they're easy to take for granted. But my guest argues that they’re worth fully appreciating — because the book isn’t just a container for content; it’s a revolutionary technology for shaping culture and thought.Joel Miller is a former publishing executive, an editor, a book reviewer, and the author of The Idea Machine: How Books Built Our World and Shape Our Future. Today on the show, Joel argues that to appreciate the power of the book, you have to look at its design: how it's constructed, how we interact with it, and how its evolution transformed the way we think, learn, and communicate. He walks us through a fascinating history of the book as a physical object, from Augustine reading under a fig tree, to medieval monks introducing word spacing and punctuation, to the printing press’s world-altering explosion of information. We also explore how novels changed our emotional and social intelligence, how silent reading birthed individual interpretation, and why, even in

Most of us know what we should do to be healthier: eat better, move more, sleep well. The real challenge? Actually following through.On today’s show, I talk to behavioral psychologist Amantha Imber, author of The Health Habit, who argues that the missing piece in most health advice isn’t more information — it’s learning how to bridge the gap between knowing what to do and actually doing it.Amantha first outlines four “habit hijackers” that sabotage your best-laid plans and shares practical, research-backed tactics to overcome each one. We then dive into some specific health habits that will give you a lot of transformative bang for your buck. We discuss how restricting your sleep can help you sleep better, the truth about the popular 10,000 steps a day recommendation, the underrated power of an after-dinner walk, and more.Resources Related to the PodcastHijacker Survey LinkRelated AoM Podcasts:The Psychology of Effective Weight LossHow to Hack the Habit Loop to Build a Better LifeThe Microbiome Master KeyRela

There’s a lot of debate these days about what it means to be a man. But maybe the answer is simpler than we think, and a lot of masculinity just comes down to confident competence. A broad set of know-how. The ability to get stuff done. The capacity to move through the world with purpose and skill.As someone who's lived several lives in one, Elliot Ackerman certainly embodies that ethos. He's a decorated Marine, a former CIA paramilitary officer, a National Book Award-nominated novelist, and now the writer of A Man Should Know, a column at The Free Press that explores the small but significant skills that shape a man’s life.Today on the show, Elliot and I talk about why young men are struggling, how intention, discipline, and competence can change the way a man carries himself, and a few of the specific skills a man should know — from how to wear a watch to how to give a eulogy.Resources Related to the PodcastElliot's novelsElliot's "A Man Should Know:" columns:How to Introduce YourselfHow to Be a FriendHow t

Note: This is a rebroadcast. It’s a tough job to manage a household. Things need to be regularly fixed, maintained, and cleaned. How do you stay on top of these tasks in order to keep your home in tip-top shape?My guest knows his way all around this issue and has some field-tested, insider advice to offer. Charles MacPherson spent two decades as the major-domo or chief butler of a grand household. He’s also the founder of North America’s only registered school for butlers and household managers and the author of several books drawn from his butlering experience, including The Butler Speaks: A Return to Proper Etiquette, Stylish Entertaining, and the Art of Good Housekeeping.In the first part of our conversation, Charles charts the history of domestic service and describes why the practice of having servants like a butler and maid ebbed in the mid-20th century but has made a comeback today. We then turn to what average folks who don’t have a household staff can do to better manage their homes. Charles rec

When people think of J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis, they often picture tweedy Oxford professors and beloved fantasy authors. But their writing wasn't drawn only from their bucolic days teaching at Oxford and walking in the English countryside; it had a darker, deeper backdrop: the trenches of World War I and the cataclysm of World War II. Lewis and Tolkien weren't just fantasy writers — they were war veterans, cultural critics, and men with firsthand knowledge of evil, heroism, and sacrifice.In today’s episode, I’m joined by Joseph Loconte, returning to the show to discuss his latest book, The War for Middle Earth. We explore how both world wars shaped the perspectives of Tolkien and Lewis, found their way into works like The Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia, and infused their literary masterpieces with moral weight, spiritual depth, and timeless themes of resistance, friendship, and redemption. We also talk about the legendary friendship between Tolkien and Lewis, the creation of the Inklings,

When we think about what shaped our life trajectory, we often focus on the way our parents raised us. But what about our siblings? What role do they play in who we become?My guest today makes the case that siblings may be just as influential as parents in impacting how we turn out.Her name is Susan Dominus, and she’s a journalist and the author of The Family Dynamic: A Journey into the Mystery of Sibling Success. Susan and I start our conversation by unpacking the broader question of what drives human development more — nature or nurture. We then dig into how siblings shape us, from the impact of birth order to how rivalry can raise our ambitions and alter our life paths. Along the way, we also explore the influence parents do have on their kids — and why it may not be as strong as we often think.Connect With Susan DominusSusan's websiteSusan's faculty pageSusan at the NYTSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In a story from ancient Greek philosophy, Hercules faces a choice between two paths: one promising pleasure and ease; the other, hardship and struggle — but also growth and greatness. According to today’s guest, this ancient parable is more relevant than ever.Dr. Paul Taylor, a psychophysiologist and the author of the new book The Hardiness Effect, returns to the show to argue that comfort has become our default mode — and it’s making us mentally and physically sick. To reclaim health and meaning, we must actively choose the path of arete — a life of effort, engagement, and challenge.Paul first outlines the four traits that define a psychologically hardy person and how we grow by embracing and even relishing discomfort. We then dive into the physiological side of hardiness. We discuss how intentionally seeking stressors can strengthen both body and mind and some of the practices and protocols that lead to optimal health. We end our conversation with what tackling heroic, Herculean labors looks like today.Reso

We live in a culture that does everything it can to keep death at a distance. We hide it behind hospital curtains, euphemize it in conversation, and hustle through grief like it's just another item on the to-do list. We don't want death to get in the way of living.But my guest would say that making friends with death is the key to fully embracing life. Joanna Ebenstein is the founder of Morbid Anatomy, a project that uses exhibitions, lectures, and classes to explore how death intersects with history and culture. She's also the author of Memento Mori: The Art of Contemplating Death to Live a Better Life. Today on the show, Joanna shares why we lost a more intimate relationship with death and the life-stifling consequences of that disconnect. We discuss practices for coming to terms with death and removing our fear of it, including looking at memento mori art, meditating on death, talking to the dead, and simply taking care of the practicalities surrounding our inevitable departure.Resources Related to the Pod

If you went to high school in America, you probably read Moby-Dick — or, more likely, you skimmed the CliffsNotes and wondered why this dense, whale-obsessed novel was considered a classic.That was me in 10th grade.But earlier this year, I decided to revisit Moby-Dick in midlife, and it hit me completely differently. What once seemed like a tedious story about a guy chasing a whale revealed itself to be a profound meditation on free will, perception, self-reliance, leadership, and obsession. It’s now one of my favorite novels.To help unpack why Moby-Dick endures — and why it might be worth picking up again— I’m joined by Mark Cirino, a professor of American literature. Today on the show, we discuss why Moby-Dick was initially overlooked, the novel’s major themes, and the timeless mystery of Captain Ahab’s monomaniacal quest.Resources Related to the PodcastMark's previous appearances on the AoM podcast:Episode #786: The Writing Life of Ernest HemingwayEpisode #922: For Whom the Bell TollsOne True PodcastT

There's been a lot of talk about morning routines in the last few years. But the idea is hardly new; famous men from Thomas Aquinas to Benjamin Franklin structured their mornings to accomplish great deeds and live flourishing lives.A modern advocate of this age-old practice is Hal Elrod, author of The Miracle Morning, first published nearly twenty years ago. Long before morning routines became a trend, Hal was experimenting with his own — researching and refining what actually works. Through his experiences and those of the millions who’ve tried his approach, he’s cut through the aspirational noise to offer a doable, effective framework for starting your day right. Today on the show, Hal shares the six practices of the Miracle Morning routine, why he chose them, and how they set up your day for success. We also discuss how long the routine takes and how a shortened version can be done in just six minutes, as well as how to make it work if you're not a morning person. Along the way, I share what my own morning

What does it mean to be a man? It’s a timeless question that's been answered in different ways across the ages. For the ancient Romans, the word for manliness was virtus — the root of our word virtue. To be a man meant living a life of virtuous excellence.Waller Newell takes up that same definition in his book The Code of Man, first published twenty years ago and now released in a new edition. Today on the show, Waller, a professor of political science, argues that we need to recover an older vision of manhood rooted in the traditions of Western antiquity. He shares the five paths that, in his view, form the classical code of manliness and how they can continue to be lived out today.Resources Related to the PodcastWaller's previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #104 — The Code of Man With Waller NewellAoM Article: What Is Manliness?AoM series on the origins and nature of manhoodAoM Podcast #1,028: The 5 Marks of a ManAoM Podcast #926: The 5 Shifts of ManhoodAoM Article: Got Thumos?AoM Article: What I