Life Over Coffee With Rick Thomas

Patiently loving the abused while listening to their story to comprehend what happened to and in them is vital. Additionally, you will represent Jesus most effectively if you do not move faster than they can go. Of course, you want them to experience restorative freedom, but each person moves at a unique pace, something you must discern while not artificially mandating. As you consider their restoration process, you want to discern several essentials, a few of which I will outline for you. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/listening-to-sexual-abuse-part-2/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Sexual abuse is one of the most devastating and complicating sin crimes that someone forces on another human being. Though I don’t fully understand the horror of this type of abuse because it has not happened to me, I’ve sat with many victims of sexual violence and felt and seen, in part, the effect it has on them. Even the abused have a hard time articulating what has happened to them. Thus, it’s essential when helping the abused that you listen well to what they are telling you. You need to be highly careful and competent to care for these broken souls. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/listening-to-sexual-abuse-part-1/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Shows Main Idea – A friend shared a video from a biblical counseling ministry where the leader spoke to women about their views on helping when abuse happens. My friend asked my opinion, which I shared, and then decided it would be worth a more in-depth examination because I have seen this before, where a person with a good heart overreaches with a flawed hermeneutic to make the Bible say something that it does not, hoping to help those victims. We don’t have to twist God’s Word to care for hurting souls. Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-412-do-we-have-to-twist-scripture-to-help-victims-of-abuse/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Anger is one of our most common temptations. You cannot put two imperfect people together for an extended period and expect them not to have conflict. Anger will always be part of their relationship. Knowing how to navigate the conflict while removing the anger is essential. We cannot work through any relational dust-up well if our sin plan does not include anger’s removal. In this chapter, I have twelve crucial tips to help anyone address their conflict from a biblical perspective. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/12-tips-to-help-a-person-who-is-angry-with-someone/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Roll through your mental index, identifying the kind of person or people you do not prefer, or those you typically avoid? They do things you don’t like. Their attitude, mannerism, behavior, worldview, or [fill in the blank] is not your cup of tea. Perhaps it’s something your spouse, child, parent, or church member does. Maybe it’s that Christian hypocrite who needs to “get a life” or someone who has different strengths and weaknesses from yours. Do you have that person in mind? Great! Let’s proceed by applying the Lord’s mandate to love your enemy. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/pick-an-enemy-now-will-you-do-what-jesus-said-love-them/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Shows Main Idea – There is a spiritual connection between the disciple-maker and the disciple. The Spirit of God binds them together. When this connection happens, the effect on each other’s lives will be impactful and transformative. There are three essentials that every disciple-maker must have to have this kind of impact on themselves and others. Let’s take a look at these three essentials in sequential order. Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-411-three-essentials-we-need-to-be-effective-disciple-makers/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

When mass shootings happen, many reasonable people stand on all sides of the gun control debate. Some folks want to limit the number of guns we have and how we use them. Others want to eliminate them altogether. Then there are those who want more freedom regarding firearms. The debate is ongoing, but it always intensifies when there is a murder. These shootings rip out our hearts as we try to comprehend what happened. It does not matter how many times you hear of it or how much violence you watch on television; when you hear a story about people killing people, the sadness overwhelms you. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/what-is-the-best-solution-for-the-gun-control-problem/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Sometimes the English language is inadequate for conveying our thoughts. Words always seem to fall short when there is a personal or national tragedy. Tragedies remind me of Job’s friends who made a wise choice in the beginning not to speak so quickly. Horrific events render our minds into something like a busy intersection in gridlock. Each time I hear of one, I mentally pause, reflect, and mourn. You do this too because we’re Christians. We care. We also want to prepare our hearts as we respond to terrible events. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/preparing-your-heart-for-tragedy-like-las-vegas-nv/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Shows Main Idea – Fear is our number one temptation. We are afraid of so many things, and making a mistake is probably at the top of most people’s "I don’t want this to happen" lists. How can you know with certainty that the person you meet, the place you go, or the thing you do are right and the results will not disappoint you? Sadly, too many people have experienced hurt too many times, and they have relegated themselves to a lesser life to keep themselves from future disappointment. Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-411-how-can-i-know-a-person-place-or-thing-wont-disappoint/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

A counselor friend asked how you encourage someone when they are angry at God for what happened to them? The lady is mad because Sovereign Lord did not protect her from horrific victimization. He has been meeting with her for weeks, and wondered if he should give similar counsel the Lord gave to Job, “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you have understanding. Shall a faultfinder contend with the Almighty? He who argues with God, let him answer it.” His question is intriguing and needs careful examination when helping the unchanging, hurt soul. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/im-angry-at-god-because-he-did-not-help-me-when-i-needed-him/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Everybody is a victim. We all received a raw deal. And life is not fair. I’m not mocking anyone, but merely stating the obvious. Nobody comes into the world unscathed. We’re fallen individuals. In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve’s dastardly deed sent the world and all its inhabitants into the mire of deep, dark, unsalvagable sin. No exceptions. But it gets worse. After we arrived in this cursed world, people began piling on, hurting us. Not to be outdone, we hurt others too, which leaves us with the most crucial question we could ask ourselves: Will our negative narratives rule us, or will we flip those tragedies and make them redemption stories? Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/a-note-to-those-who-are-angry-with-god-for-the-life-they-have/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Shows Main Idea – Julie Roys titles herself as an investigative journalist that reports the truth and restores the church. Both of those claims are dubious as Christians on all points of the evangelical spectrum are anything but restored and emotionally divided about Julie’s perspective on the truth. The current and ongoing centerpiece of her investigative activism is John MacArthur. Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-409-why-julie-roys-is-a-dangerous-investigative-journalist/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Few things are more frightening to a child than an angry dad. An angry father in the home is the metaphorical equivalent of rolling a child’s heart through a minefield. The angry dad forces the child to live between two worlds: strive to be perfect or receive the father’s exasperating disapproval. The accumulative effect of that kind of torment is hard to overcome. If the angry dad does not change, the child will fall prey to a lifetime of internal and relational struggles. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/the-angry-dad/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Abuse is one of the most common subjects discussed in our culture today. Knowing how to respond when someone abuses another person is vital, something every church and its members must become proficient at doing. In this episode, I walk through ten essentials about abuse. Though this treatment is not exhaustive, these ten things must be on every checklist so we can become more effective soul care providers for the abused and their abusers. Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-408-the-ten-point-checklist-when-abuse-happens/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

When children are young, they believe their parents are impressive in about every way. As they grow older and create proper categories for living well with others, they begin to see their parents’ good and bad behaviors. Observing flawed lives in the family dynamic does not have to be harmful to the children if the parents consistently clean up their messes by active repentance. However, suppose the husband and wife are not modeling a practical picture of Christ and His church while repenting along the way. In that case, it can have a detrimental impact on their children, even pushing them away from the family and Christ. Biffy was one of those kids, as you are about to read from the letter he wrote to his dad. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/dear-parents-will-you-stop-your-arguing-please/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://ric

We live in two worlds at the same time, the physical and spiritual. We can see, touch, taste, smell, hear and intimately engage each other in the physical realm. The spiritual world is all around us, too. But differently. We cannot touch, taste, smell, hear or see this world, but it is just as real. Imagine this: it takes all our lives to learn how to live well in the physical world. What about the unseen realm? How difficult it must be to live well with what we cannot see. The temptation would be natural to dismiss the spiritual world, but that would be a mistake. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/spiritual-warfare-some-tips-on-how-to-fight/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Shows Main Idea – The novelty of social media has turned deadly but many Christians do not know how it's eating away at the soul of the church. It has been so subtle (and fun) that we are amusing ourselves to spiritual death. And we're exporting our cyber behavior to our children as they grow up in a world where gathering worshiping, and spurring one another on to love and good works is for past generations. The process of life in the cyber world happened in four strategic steps. Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-407-the-new-and-dangerous-way-christians-build-community/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

The angry heart does not have to direct its frustration toward anyone to complicate that relationship. All the angry person has to do is stand in the vicinity of those who receive the spillover of their anger. Whether you’re mad at someone or intoxicating the room with your frustration, it will damage your redemptive goals with the casualties. Every partner, parent, pastor, and peer must learn to bring sinful anger into submission to Christ, or it will complicate the lives of others. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/when-the-parents-anger-complicates-the-life-of-the-child/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Every child to varying degrees is treated poorly by a parent. I wish I had another story to tell. Victimization is not okay or straightforward, but it is a fact about the fallout of fallenness. If the child does not know how to process the hurt or cast it on Christ, they will probably grow up bitter, as I did. The good news is that even if you find yourself in the snare of bitter victimization, there is a way out. There is help and hope because Christ came to set captives free, which is what He did for me. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/the-reason-i-stopped-hating-my-dad-2/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Shows Main Idea – One of our long-time supporters posed a question about demonic activity on our forums. He suggested that biblical counselors and Christians generally do not devote adequate time and concern to demonic activity. His concerns and valid, and our supporters may read that thread here. In this episode, I'm addressing some of the problems and how to think through demonic activity practically. Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-406-should-christians-place-an-emphasis-on-demonic-activity/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/