Dude, That's F****d Up

"This tiny home was hand built by the owner in the late 1960s and has only ever had one resident. It features clean lines and a modern design, complete with a battery-operated ventilation system and an updated bucket toilet. Move in ready, this capsule can be yours for only $500,000 in $20 bills. Please place an ad in the paper to let us know you're interested, and we'll contact you via telephone." In this week's episode, Erin and Nicole talk about the Barbara Mackle kidnapping! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/dude-thats-fd-up8/support

The "M" stands for Mackenzie because without her, Episode 40 wouldn't be chock full o' aliens or deceased pets or active diarrhea or bad accents or a bunch of conspiracy theories! So make yourself a cranberry sauce cocktail (aka the Fixin') and join Erin "Mulder" and Nicole "Scully," as they investigate the Rendlesham Forest Incident! This one's for you, Stumbelina! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/dude-thats-fd-up8/support

Happy Thanksgiving, America! If you're a stateside listener, we hope this year brings you a Thanksgiving spread free from political commentary and distant relative stank. But chances are, you're sitting ringside to "A Very MAGA Thanksgiving 2017," while your step uncle-in-law continuously douses himself in Drakkar Noir. The maybe, potentially silver lining? The mall opens at 6pm and you can channel all of your resulting aggression into a box store stampede. Or better yet, you can hide out in grandma's sewing room, scream crying into a pillow between bites of pumpkin pie. Speaking of moist, the DTFU ladies are thankful for YOU think year, Listener! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/dude-thats-fd-up8/support

"Aww, you shouldn't have." - Britney Jean Spears --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Today's topic is the Hope Diamond, which was the inspiration behind the "keep your mouth shut and your brain empty" necklace in Titanic. And that film was supes popular when Britney was Making the Video for "Oops" in a red pleather jumpsuit and white eyeshadow. So naturally, it worked itself in. Was the Titanic cursed? Is Britney Jean cursed? Is the Hope Diamond cursed? Yes, cursed by bad choices. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/dude-thats-fd-up8/support

Come mah lady, come come mah lady (and dudes)! This week brings a very special episode of DTFU Podcast as we celebrate the original meathead's birthday! Erin is completely almost surprised by the birthday facts Nicole shares, but it turns out the real heroes are the listeners who delivered amazing, f****d up birthday stories! So many laughs, new nicknames, old turns of phrase and a few sound effects. Oh! And a drinking game! But still no Kenny Rogers impression. Drink along responsibly. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/dude-thats-fd-up8/support

Get ready for the most HERiFFic listener story you're ever going to hear. It was submitted anonymously and honestly, it's for the best because you'd never be able to look this person in the eye again. If it's even a person, it was submitted anonymously so who knows. After a few laughs and gags and "how'd that even happens," Erin and Nicole transition nicely into the practice of ancient Egyptian mummification. Come for the putrefaction details. Stay for the bad puns. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/dude-thats-fd-up8/support

Most cults are oppressive, sad and poor. This cult is oppressive and sad, but it's rich, bitch! In fact, it's so wealthy, their estate in Northern California has a fully functioning restaurant, museum, amphitheater and winery! For a cult that keeps thinking the end of the world is coming, it seems a bit much. Also, Erin does the snake oil salesman voice again, and Nicole laughs. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/dude-thats-fd-up8/support

This week's topic seemed innocuous enough...until Erin and Nicole started talking about it! There's no subject these two ladies (and "ladies" is not used ironically here, but I see why you might think that) can't bring back to body parts and/or fluids. Only DTFU Podcast can take a topic as boring as an astronomer from the 16th century, and find a way to circle back to dirty deeds. Silent-laugh along with Erin and Nicole as they discuss the minimally interesting accomplishments, but extremely interesting pets, of Tycho Brahe! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/dude-thats-fd-up8/support

What do the City of Cleveland, Pennywise the Clown and 1986 have in common? There's no punchline here, but this episode will try to tie these loose ends together. Join Erin and Nicole as they rehash the excitement leading up to and the slightly tragic unfolding of the events of the 1986 Cleveland Balloon Fest. This one is one for the books! (Although, not the Guinness Book of World Records, but that's a very sore subject so let's drop it. K, THX.) --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/dude-thats-fd-up8/support

Erin and Nicole have been asking you to send in your sexy time-related stories and HERFF GIRL, HERFF have you delivered! We hear from a listener about a missed connection of rock star proportions before we get in to bed with a couple of listeners who aren't doin' it right in this Mulletsode. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/dude-thats-fd-up8/support

Erin and Nicole would have loved to go beyond the wall for this episode, Game of Thrones style. Instead, they're talking about a different, less impressive wall. Still, it IS made out of ice. But it stands a mere 125 feet tall. Scalable in 10 minutes or less by any wildling worth their salt. Oh, and it's not guarded by the likes of Jon Snow and the Night's Watch. Oh no. It's most likely guarded by the equivalent of a band of wights who are stoned on the pot. Oh right, and this wall encompasses the flat Earth in an elaborate conspiracy theory about the Earth not being round. Sorry, did I forget that part up top? As always, it's an adventure. So sit back and let the jingle jangle of ice cubes, along with the cackle of Erin and Nicole's laughter, sooth you into a one-sided rant about people not believing in science or NASA or the Earth's rotation. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/dude-thats-fd-up8/support

Course Description: This course, which meets every Wednesday and is taught by renowned Bus Driver Scientists Erin and Nicole, is best geared towards passionate students with a healthy curiosity and a lust for knowledge. It is not for the faint of heart, or those who may already be over-stimulated. The course will begin with an update on the trial of Jose Consnakeo, followed by an historic reenactment from "The Straight Passing Gay." Once those topics have been touched upon, this course will deep dive into the female anatomy and discuss the explosion of the doctor-prescribed paroxysm. This one may even show up on the Richter scale. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/dude-thats-fd-up8/support

Do you like the look of crunchy hair? Do you feel useless when your uterus is empty? Have you ever thought to yourself, "Golly gee whiz. I could spread the word of the Lord faster, if only I had my own child army..."? If you answered yes to any of the questions above, you may pre-qualify for Quiverfull! Quiverfull is a culty religion that really came into it's own in the 80s. Enjoy everything Quiverfull has to offer: female oppression, poverty, an overworked uterus, an out-of-fashion perm (to perfectly pair with your modest attire) and so much more! In order to qualify, please send your check or money order to: DTFU Podcast, 4 Heaven's Sake Drive, I Can't CA, 9021-Oh you have to be kidding me. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/dude-thats-fd-up8/support

Jesus Crass, what an episode! When Erin and Nicole get together it's generally chaos. But add in the dating scene, D-list celebrities from the early 2000s, a chin piercing, and Lenny Kravitz's stage-peen, and you have Episode Twenty-Two! Single dudes, get ready to learn the warning signs of an a-hole trying to get into your pants. Doesn't sound familiar? Surprise! You're the predator and here's some advice: don't ever listen to anyone wearing a furry top hat and goggles. Also, don't touch anything or anyone. Love this episode? Share it with a friend! And follow us on sosh meeds @dtfupodcast everywhere. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/dude-thats-fd-up8/support

Episode 20 is a little longer than usual because there's just so much to celebrate! Ok, but also, Erin and Nicole each drink half a bottle of (v. good) champagne and they won't shut up about this week's topic. Picture this: you're a peasant in the European countryside. The year? 1348. You're hungry. You're feeling riddled with fever. Your lymph nodes are purple and swollen to the size of golf balls in your armpit and crotch. You go to Goop.com looking for the cure-all-jade-egg while thinking "WWGD?" EXCEPT GWYNETH CAN'T HELP YOU AND YOU HAVE THE BUBONIC PLAGUE! Annnnnnnd you're dead. Buhbye! (Wait! Don't forget to rate, review and subscribe! And follow @DTFUPodcast on #soshmeeds. Ok, now buhbye.) --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/dude-thats-fd-up8/support

Unemployment, Bill Cosby, Sloppy Joes, Warm Milk, Meth - this episode has it all. Kind of like Rumspringa, the time in an Amish kid's life when they leave the farm and head for the bowling alleys of Pennsylvania or Ohio or wherever. You thought Erin and Nicole hated talking about Sasquatch? You haven't heard this episode! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/dude-thats-fd-up8/support

HOW (!?) did these two cram so much into a single episode of DTFU? It could be that they're trying to avoid this week's topic... Erin and Nicole share an update from Laura, who "noped!" her way out of Target in E16: Defile High Club. Erin recounts the time she discovered Facebook filters and her likeness to "hot Jesus." Nicole learns from a new fan she's the one with the cackle. And after a story about a snake, they finally (and begrudgingly) get to the topic of this episode: Bigfoot (aka Sasquatch). Believe it or not (not), there's a lot to be said about this giant, stinking, elusive, possibly female creature. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/dude-thats-fd-up8/support

Hope you're hungry for adventure, because this episode is jam packed! First, Nicole tries to clear up a misunderstanding about Louis XIV before both dudes swap travel horror stories in preparation for Erin's 15-hour flight to Japan. Still, their stories pale in comparison to the travelog of the Donner-Reed party and the trek they made along the Oregon Trail. An early storm, a jabroni tour guide and a bunch more bad moves along the way sealed this party's fate in the wild, wild west. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/dude-thats-fd-up8/support

The girls say "like" too much, according to Nicole's mom, and Erin's mom can't weigh in because she's never listened to this podcast. Luckily, the girls are only derailed for a few minutes, before a brilliant segue into cereal. Pour yourself a bowl of anything but Grapenuts, as we'll spoon feed you the crazy on the Kellogg Brothers. Mmmmm, yummy! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/dude-thats-fd-up8/support

Munchausen Syndrome By Proxy is the topic du jour and the conversation gets a little dark. Luckily, Erin has a cat with impeccable comedic timing to lift everyone's spirits! Join us for a listener story about a parasite, a bunch of legitimately bad moms and finally, a story that Nicole argues is a heroic tale of revenge! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/dude-thats-fd-up8/support