The Terri Cole Show

I am so happy to welcome back a frequent guest of the show, Ross Rosenberg. Ross is an expert on narcissism and codependency, and he's here to tell us about his amazing new book, Codependency Revolution: Fixing What Was Already Broken, which also helps raise awareness around what codependency actually is, why codependents tend to end up with narcissists, and what you can do about it.  One brilliant takeaway: codependency is an addiction.  I always enjoy talking with Ross because he speaks from personal and professional experience, and he brings new observations and thoughts from the field into the fold.  What he offers is hope, something many of those in these toxic relationships need, so I hope you enjoy what Ross shares with us as much as I did. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/619

Do you ever stand in the card aisle around Father’s Day, endlessly searching for a card that doesn’t exist because none of the cards on the shelf accurately describe your relationship with your father? This used to be me.  Growing up, all the cards I saw said, You’re the most amazing father ever! You were always there for me! You did everything right! None of these messages felt right. They didn’t capture my feelings toward or my reality with my father. If Father’s Day is painful for you, you’re not alone. There are ways you can grieve, mourn, and honor the complex emotions this day evokes, which I share in this episode. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/618

I am so excited to have fellow therapist Todd Baratz on the show to talk about his new book, How to Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind: Forget the Fairy Tale and Get Real. You might know Todd on Instagram as @yourdiagnonsense, which is how I came across his amazing work.  Todd wrote this book for anyone feeling stuck in their relationship, and it was inspired by his own relationship struggles. As we mention in the interview, just because we're therapists doesn't mean we have it all figured out! We cover a range of topics, from what inspired Todd to write this book and become a therapist specializing in sex, to the importance of differentiation in long-term relationships and intergenerational trauma.  I hope you enjoy this therapist jam as much as I did. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/617

Do you think father wounds are obvious? That you can only have a father wound if you had a ‘difficult’ father? Or do you think successful women can’t have father wounds? There is a lot of misinformation about the father wound online, from what causes one to how it impacts us.  In this episode, I set the record straight by sharing the top six father wound myths I’ve encountered and the truth behind each. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/616

I am so excited to welcome my new pal and expert on narcissism, Dr. Les Carter (known as Dr. C) to the show to talk about the traits of narcissists.  Dr. C walks us through the 8 questions narcissists can't answer and why, and it is incredibly illuminating. We talk about the inability of narcissists to be vulnerable, respect differences, manage conflict healthily, consider other opinions, and their need to be in control.  Dr. C also shares his definition of narcissism and the most common misconceptions he sees about it.  I hope you enjoy our conversation as much as I did! Read the show notes for today's episode at http://terricole.com/615

What drives your ambition?  Are you passionate about creating something, or are you out to prove something? Or are you out to prove someone wrong?  I fell into the latter category in my twenties, unaware of how my father wound drove my career ambitions.  I was also unaware of how much my father wound was influencing the romantic partners I chose.  In this episode, I am covering how an unhealed father wound impacts our relationships, careers, and health to raise your awareness and hopefully save you years of pain, heartache, and dissatisfaction. Signup for the upcoming Father Wound course at terricole.com/fatherwound! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/614

Are you intolerant of how you actually feel? Or are you intolerant of what others believe?  My amazing guest and pal, Africa Brooke, is here to tell us how to get curious and be in the middle with her new book, The Third Perspective: Brave Expression in The Age of Intolerance, which I think is a much-needed antidote right now.  Africa shares why she believes curiosity is a dying art, how to spark more of it (especially in ourselves), and how we can begin bravely expressing ourselves in the world, one step at a time, without censorship.  Toward the end, Africa also tells us about her own experience of self-sabotage and how this led her to her current body of work.  I hope you enjoy this enlightening conversation as much as I enjoyed having it. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/613

Growing up, my mother, my sisters, and I were all afraid of him.  I didn’t think either of these things was a “big deal” until I connected the dots in therapy and realized how much I was playing out my father wound in my romantic relationships.  Many of you say you think you have a father wound. By sharing my own story, I aim to illustrate a few of the different ways it can present and impact your life. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/612

My amazing guest this week is Kara Loewentheil, a feminist lawyer-turned-life coach. She’s here to tell us how a sexist society gets in our heads and how to get it out with her new book, Take Back Your Brain.  We talk about the messages we absorb from society at a young age, how they shape our thoughts, and how we can slowly replace those thoughts with less crappy ones. If you're a high-achieving woman who feels like you need to do it all and be everything to everyone, this episode is for you. As Kara says: You can't hate yourself into liking yourself!  If this episode resonates with you, don’t forget to preorder her book, Take Back Your Brain, releasing May 21! 

Have you ever wondered if your relationship with your father or father figure is normal? Or maybe you know it wasn’t normal, but you’re not sure how it impacted you and your adult relationships. If you suspect you have a father wound, this episode is for you. We’re starting with the basics: what a father wound is, the symptoms and causes of father wounds, and why it is painful.  Healing my own father wound has had a profound impact on my life, and I can’t wait to share more about this with you over the next few episodes. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/610

I am so excited to welcome Dr. Frank Anderson, renowned trauma expert, to the show to talk about his newest book, To Be Loved: A Story of Truth, Trauma, and Transformation.  It's both a memoir and a beautiful exploration of healing trauma. I absolutely loved what Frank had to share about the different types of trauma, the healing process, forgiving the perpetrator, forgiving ourselves, and reclaiming our own narratives.  If you've experienced childhood trauma of any type, I think you'll get a lot out of this conversation. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.  Gentle TW: there is a mention of suicide at 21:15. If this is a tender topic for you, please skip forward 20 seconds Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/609

Does Mother’s Day bring up hard feelings for you or give you anxiety? Do you find it difficult or frustrating to find a Mother’s Day card that speaks to your relationship with your mother? Is it a day you’d rather pretend doesn’t exist? If you answered “yes” to any of these, you’re in the right place. I am sharing ideas for how to honor, grieve, mourn, and celebrate on Mother’s Day, no matter what kind of relationship you have with your mother. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/608

I am so thrilled to welcome my pal Lisa Bilyeu back to the show to celebrate the paperback launch of her book, Radical Confidence: 11 Lessons on How to Get the Relationship, Career, and Life You Want.  We talk about the practical steps you can take to build confidence over time, how toxic relationships erode our confidence, and boundaries and family (specifically, the moment Lisa found out her dad disapproved of her marriage plans).  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/607

Do you know what your boundary style is? Are you aware of how boundary styles can impact you and your relationships? Whether we say “yes” when we want to say “no,” or don’t ask for help because we distrust others, our predominant boundary style often prevents us from living authentically.  Curious to learn more? Join me for a deep dive into the differences between rigid and porous boundaries, how they negatively impact the quality of your life, and the transformative power of healthy boundaries.  You’ll come away with a deeper understanding of your boundary style and where you might need to make adjustments. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/606

I am so thrilled to have my pal Case Kenny on the show today to talk about everything: His podcast, “New Mindset, Who Dis?” being in the wellness space, his wildly popular Instagram account, and his book, That's Bold of You. He shares some tips for ending behavior patterns you’re ready to move on from and using movement to cultivate mindfulness. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/605  

Does it ever feel challenging to get through to your partner when you’re in conflict? Do they become endlessly defensive when you raise an issue? Or do they bring up unrelated problems they have with you or the relationship? Are you the defensive one? Many of you have written in to ask about navigating issues with defensive or conflict-avoidant partners. This episode is my answer.  We’ll cover why clean conflict and fair fighting are critical to successful relationships, what this looks like in practice, and tips for having healthier, more constructive conflict. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/604

I am so thrilled my pals Mark Groves and Kylie McBeath are here to talk about how they healed their codependent patterns and created liberated love in their relationship.  This conversation is in celebration of their new book, Liberated Love: Release Codependnt Patterns and Create the Love You Desire. ❤️ If you identify with any of what we discussed, definitely get it!  Grab Liberated Love here: https://liberated-love.com Gentle warning: there is a mention of SA around 17:50 - 18:43. Please skip this section if this is a tender topic for you. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/603

Have you ever hesitated to end a relationship because of the intricate ways your lives were intertwined? Or have you ended a relationship and struggled to move on because of a profound sense of loss? Then you are in the right place. I am breaking down the secondary losses we experience after a breakup: what they are, their impact, and how honoring our secondary losses helps us pick up the pieces. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/602

I am so excited to have my pal and best-selling author, Ruby Warrington, on the show to talk about being sober curious and living a child-free life.  Ruby actually coined the term "sober curious" and in this conversation, we both share our experience with that and getting sober. Ruby also shares her thoughts on choosing to be child-free, the societal expectations we face as women when it comes to motherhood, and so much more.  I hope it resonates with you as much as it did for me. **Note: we discuss infertility mid-way through the episode. If this is a tender topic for you, consider skipping this episode. ❤️ ** Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/601

Does co-parenting feel difficult because you and your ex are never on the same page? Is your ex combative, dismissive, or a narcissist? Are you worried about what they’re saying to your kids when you’re not there? If you want what is best for your kids and find co-parenting activating, this episode is for you. I am covering the common blocks to cooperative co-parenting, protecting your child from an emotionally unhealthy ex, and the boundaries needed for healthy co-parenting. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/600