Double Deuce Podcast

Oh yeah, got those recording 2 shows in person second show bad notes going in full effect. The Notes: Will’s nude calendar coming soon! We need someone who does facepainting! Will’s co-boss of Nerd Nite now, and there’s another one coming up on 5/10 at Maceli’s! D&D talk! Hard up in these twitter streets! Ain’t no good billionaires! Jeff Bezos the Musical! Don’t worry, there’s a song about pooping in a box! Money can’t buy class! PSA ending for the kids! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We’re on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher, Google, Spotify, Amazon, Radio.com, RadioPublic, pretty much anywhere they got podcasts, you can find the Deuce! Podcast logo art by Jason Keezer! Find his art online at Keezograms! Intro & Outro featuring Rob Schulte! Check out his many podcasts! Brought to you in part by sponsorship

Oh shit, back recording in person, huzzah! The Notes: We’re friends! #ExplainYourMurder! Declaring war on pear trees! The origin of the bartlett pear! A haphazard history of the Nicaraguan Civil War! Yeah, Reagan was bad! Ketchup spaghetti! Pepperoni robots! Cafeteria vs Bag Lunch: Dawn of Lunchables! Will’s Leadership Lawrence update! Will’s podcast adultery! Daler Mehndi shoutout (boat, boat, boat)! Northern Boys shoutout! That North England swagger! The English-Scottish DMZ! Will Rates Lakes! Villages vs Hamlets: Dawn of Ham and Cheese! Our sworn enemies, the Sycamore Boys! #AFewofMyFavoriteLakes! Will’s Top 5 Lakes! Good Lakes vs Great Lakes! You need a great lake to really lose a boat! Robots can be women, too! One Knife vs Eight Knives: Dawn of the Pepperoni Robots! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We’re on App

Massholes weekend so you know we’re on the zoom! The Notes: Ollie is fact-checking! Will hints at that which should not be named and his education on human sexuality! Professional Triviadore! Will did the monkey dance! Engagement party musical theater Bataan death march! Are you Scottish? #DDHaggisFriend! Learn how to fix a jacket, lads! You won’t go jacketless with this man! The Brits appreciate time management! A romantic night of burning effigies! A representation of Guy Fawkes set aflame or an old man watching from nearby while he smokes an unfiltered cigarette!? European facts! 73% of Europeans have sex standing up! US Christmas vs European Christmas! Herr Dingle Klaus and Ivan Drago! Literal holiday minefields! Riot styles from across the world! Bad apples! Say the whole phrase, guys! Applepocalypse! We dodged an apple bullet there, guys! Not enough people have “apple” in their names! Australian sex facts! Don’t go against the grain unless you don’t want to get pregnant! Condom licenses! The sex prisons

The little hand is on the Double and the big hand is on the Deuce and we’re zooming right into your ear hearts yet again! The Notes: We’re lying right out of the gate! Bill Self loves a fish fry! Hawk Talk never discusses Death in Venice! Onion Corner! We’re doing more Massholes this Friday at Maceli’s, why don’t you drop on by! Hot dog games! Guess the hotdogs, win an onion! Matrimonial hot dog games! The rising divorce rate is obviously tied to the lack of dowries and we have the data to back it up! The brownies may not be Ladybird this time, but they won’t be wet! Those wet brownies were Nelson’s Vietnam! The wet bread to cannibalism pipeline! Will is caught up on Yellowjackets! How we learned to stop worrying and love cannibalism! Exercise democracy by voting for in the next comedy mayor election at the Friday’s Massholes! Will Adrianne win her second term? Will the political dynasties of Keezer or Nelson return to the throne? Or will we see a brand-new mayor? Maybe even one who’s a brand-new contestant!?

Zooming it in our post-basketball stupor. The Notes: In spite of the warnings of your mothers! Moms are champions of personal space! The threat level today is pretty right on, good vibes! It’s the perfect time to join our patreon, 1 year in! Clap, or this fairy will die! Will promises 2 Will Sings this month, for the new subscribers and the old! Will’s like AT&T! Civil War officer facial hair! Will’s D&D Movie Review! It’s fun, he likes it! Will’s finally watching Yellowjackets! I don’t know, maybe he’s weeping over his lost innocence, you ever think about that!? Will’s Single Parenting Corner! #KeepMyBoatAfloat! Advertise with us! Make us into Madmen! An example ad for Zen Zero, where they put the noodles IN your MOUTH! Isolated copy of this impromptu ad is available to anybody on our patreon, if you want it for proof of just how fast we can have quality ideas and execute them! Hire us and buy us suits, please! We’re gonna need 5 suits each if you don’t want to be embarrassed! Will always pisses hims

Together in person again in the future past! The Notes: We’re ringing bells now! This is the Remix! Second in person episode really throws off the intro in a way we haven’t seen in years! We’re so far into the future past we gotta really make sure not to fuck our grandparents! Nelson talks extensively about the boardgame Scotland Yard for several minutes! You need more subway tokens to solve this crime! Mr. X and gender! Will’s Top 10 Jobs to Do Drunk! Were there 10 in there? #DDWereThere10InThere!? Will’s 3 Rules for Being British! That’s when it’s oopsies! Without British blood, this podcast wouldn’t exist! The first blood! Blood, blood, blood, I’m a doctor! 2nd episode note-taking in full effect! Nelson has a question about Career Opportunities during Target Talk! John Hughes’s 4th of July party! Nelson is keeping secrets about John Candy’s daughter! Nelson’s friends guessing game! Uncle Buck talk! Things that used to be funny (not us, we’re still funny, right, we’re still funny, right, tell us we’re funny

We’re in the same room, Nelson’s basement-style, and we recorded Tuesday to avoid the basketball rush! The Notes: Back in person and it feels pretty good! Dancing cats and other fever dreams! Cats, more cats, dancing cats, cats that won’t dance, 6 hours!? The old fake dancing cats to host a game night gambit! That old paws/pause chestnut! The Pinter Paws! Basketball, baby! This cool band Will likes you’ve never heard of aka Gonzaga! The few difficulties of being a KU fan to balance out all the great! Nelson is still a little mad at Syracuse! Early 2000’s remembrances! The dangers of Iowa! Never find yourself between an Iowan and the water with nowhere to run! Iowans don’t shit where they eat when it comes to murder! How cannibals and the CIA created the Iowa Writer’s Workshop! The old slip and fall! Slippin’ Jimmy wouldn’t survive a horror movie! Forget Nelson said anything! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Facebook: www.facebook.com/Doub

The Notes: The AI Episode! Will got ChatGPT to review the podcast! Doubling down on their one mistake, this AI is becoming more human! It sounds like ChatGPT really loves the podcast! Will’s musical breastfeeding! International farm waters! Everything’s legal on a farm! Wheat pirates! Muddy little pirate footprints! Newest music releases corner! High school is exactly like the TV show Oz! We were both inspired by Hunter! Fred Dryer’s Cocaine Times! We need more Hunter! Will demands a Hunter remix! Our podcast pairs well with cocaine times! Sponsor us, Cocaine! My Two Pablos! Touching a magic egg! The Rules of Acquisition section of the Bible! Will is a bad Christian! ADHD leads to the worshipping of false gods, sometimes! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We’re on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher, Google, Spotify, Ama

Back again, like the tide, but for your ears. The Notes: You people are making Will’s DMs filthy! Will plays net sports (extremely keen-eared, time-traveling listeners may remember Will talking about his foray into pickleball during a DecaDeuce we haven’t released yet)! Pickleball knife fighting! You can’t argue with knife inclusivity! We’re a bad fit for a nazi rally! Indiana Jones has proven the existence of polytheism! Gonna need a ribcage mechanic! We embarrassingly forget Mola Ram’s name! Is Innerspace science fact yet or not!? Dennis Quaid probably doesn’t talk like a duck! Catch Will at Nerd Nite this Wednesday at Maceli’s for his presentation on Richard III being framed for the death of the princes in the tower! Will is going to present several theories, including Nelson’s theory that Captain Kirk did it! Keep Will accountable— make sure he presents Nelson’s Kirk Killed Them Boys theory to the greater scientific community! Don’t put kids in towers! The importance of improvisation when committing regic

Zooming on out to you! The Notes: Previewing the all intro episode! Old man weather! Dystopian human weathervane! The coming Water Wars draw ever closer! Our preferred dystopias! Nelson ascribes to the liberation school of robot revolution! Our criteria for robot overlord collaboration! Some robots need a plan b! Deep Blue racism! Go to Nerd Nite on March 8th at Maceli’s to see Will and other people! Be the main character in the TV show of your life! Jason Keezer can’t get all of your grooves back, despite his raw sexual charisma he’s still only one man! The Things That We’ve Got Coming Up Corner! Go to the next Massholes on April 14th at Maceli’s to see us and other people (including some new blood!) and do your part for comedy democracy by voting in the comedy mayoral election! It’s artisanal comedy, not mass-produced comedy, individual like snowflakes! Thumbprints in the Comedy! Neil Simon kind of phoned that one in! Forgotten short-lived McDonalds character the Hamburglar Helper! The secret origins of War

Lazy Sunday zooming! The Notes: Are you happy, dear listeners? Will is unfit to perform surgery! We’re gonna need more hotpads! Will likes RAYGUN and promotes them for free! Vaguely threatening in the nicest way! The origins of insurance agents! Insurance ad characters and their punchability! One of those faces that needs to be smacked! Rugged man, manly man, man man, man manness! #DoubleDeuceManSlurry! North American Man Slurry Demographics! Concentrated Man Slurry vs Mansicles! The tragedy of Man Slurry deserts! Heat and humidity provide optimal conditions for Man Slurry! The silent Man Slurry majority! Will is presenting his Richard III conspiracy theories at the triumphant return of in person Nerd Nite! It’s Wednesday, March 8th at Maceli’s (there’s an event on facebook)! Will’s favorite Dick! Special Guest Oliver Fox drops in for the Will’s Butt Report! Required beards! Will implores you, on the topic of his butt, to please do your own research! Will demands you sniff his ass! Hundo talk and potential ne

Melia is back! But so is our sound issue, hopefully I fixed it well enough while editing. Meant to release this before the Superbowl rather than the morning after, but I was non-covid sick for a few days, the editing fixes took a while, and there was the aforementioned big game, so it took a minute. Sorry about that, but here it is! The Notes: More Melia! Superbowl Sunday! Tomahawk chop is bad! Superbowl civil war! Superbowl ads! Snack nostalgia! Modular crockpots! Nelson is called back into the ad game! German efficiency! Self-driving cheese dip! Will blurs some lines in a way not conducive to a national television ad campaign! Will’s New Job Corner! He’s at the Lawrence Community Children’s Center! They’ve got a children’s clothing closet, with sizes newborn through 5, and other resources for kids in that age range in Douglas County at tykesdc.com! Check the Community Children’s Center out on their facebook page and donate if you can! Nelson’s advertising genius shines through again! Nelson pitches the hell

Hooray, we’re recording in person and we have a guest! But, we had an in person mic sound snafu! Podcasting, she gives and she takes in equal measure! I got it fixed as best I could, but sorry if it’s not sounding the best! Anyway, the Notes: Melia Stockham is here, and it’s her first time ever on a podcast! Will’s seamless plugging! Melia’s war with the glutes! LFK gluten hacks! Cowboy-style pancake branding! Want to be better organized and productive, go get Melia’s book: The Productivity Spectrum! Productivity and chaos! Frog prison! Amazon, a double-edged sword, and the publishing dilemma! Bing-Bong! Body-hiding problems! What Will calls “the dirty grandpa!” Sleeping while you aren’t asleep! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We’re on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher, Google, Spotify, Amazon, Radio.com, RadioPublic

Can’t stop, won’t stop! We couldn’t record a new episode! But don’t worry, we still have a new episode! It’s a DecaDeuce! DecaDeuce volume 12! It’s the Deucy Dozen, y’all! The deep fans know, but Stan Lee always said every issue is somebody’s first issue, so here it is! Ten all-new mini 2 minute & 20 second (they run long cause we believe in giving the people what they want) episodes recorded over time and then plastered together into one big, brand-new but pre-recorded, regular-sized episode! Actually, it’s a bit longer (like we said): 50 he’s not heavy he’s my Double Deuce Brother but also he’s heavy minutes! Most of them involve food (get at us Food Network)! Sometimes there’re variable levels of sound quality, too, because sometimes they’re mic checks and sometimes we’ve been drinking. But what we lack in spit and polish we make up for with raw enthusiasm! We’ve got guests, too! Pete Logan, Matt Gaus, & Molly Scanlon! Here’s the Contents: We Didn’t Intend for This to Get Sexual, or Bring a Signed

Zoomin it and zoomin it and zoomin it (marginally) well. The Notes: The hype train rolls in SO HARD! We almost start a Sports Corner; but don’t give up hope, we eventually come back to it! Mythbusting Snowpiercer! Apparently this train is 12 miles long how???!!! Snowpiercer is rife with scientific impossibility so thick it strains the limits of the willing suspension of disbelief! It must have taken forever to gentrify this endless train! To Will, and the denizens of train city, protein bars are equal to human corpses! Getting Titus Andronicus’d! That awkward post-dinner party email after getting Titus Andronicus’d! Will is saying yes to the universe and its infinite possibilities re: accidental cannibalism! Long-lost cannibal love child! Is this train a city? Held hostage in Snowpiercer hell! If you’re in line for Sports Corner, stay in line! And, we’re back to sports! Will watched the first half of the Chiefs game in a low-intensity Tom Waits song at Auman’s house. Auman is welcome to rebut! Nelson’s joy at

Hey! This would normally be a live show, but we’ve had a lot going on and some scheduling complications, and that didn’t happen. Normally, we would jump ahead to 376 and save 375 for when the live show happens, but normally that live show is just 1-3 weeks away, and this time we can’t say for sure when it’ll be. So, we’re moving along with the episode numbers normally, and we’ll get a live one in when we’re able. It may be it won’t be until the regularly expected episode 400, but worst case scenario 400 will be live, and live as all hell! Also, to make up for it, we’ve got a few fun things on the burners for you in these next episodes that’ll have you saying “live show, schmive show, that was great!” Anyway, such as it is, here’s episode 375! The Notes: Will is seldom ready for this, but he’s ready for this now! We’re like a 375-year-old woman! Oily joints! The darker side of turning 100! The butthole letter! Witches and witch stereotypes! This podcast is in international waters! There are no laws in Nelson’s

Just like the last two holiday episodes, this one has not the best sound. Sorry again, should be fixed next time (we’re at least doing a new recording session, so…). No holidays to happy this time so right on in. The Notes: We’re proud of each other! Live Show Postponement Housekeeping: Live 375 will be late, but we’ll make it happen (maybe in February)! Our lawyer is a boxcar lawyer! Adding Badassery back to the public-school curriculum! The badass exploits of Mrs. Grandon! Will’s school trips involved being hunted in the woods! Nelson has to explain to Will which Virginia is the “fancy” Virginia! It’s a long bus ride down to Medellin! Treats and bribes per diem! We all had our own Mrs. Grandon! Video Game Talk! Will is disappointed in these new games! Will’s game reviews! Mrs. Grandon approved! We don’t half-ass our badass! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Al

Happy New Year! Sorry, we recorded this the same time as last one (and next one), so the sound’s still a little off. Still, we’ve got prognostications! The Notes: We’re traveling through space and time as Will is simultaneously in his basement, on a zoom, and in England; the mind reels! Predictions for 2023: Cloud Shape Corner! Sky Glizzies and mustard rain! Old-timey moustaches, the predictable backlash, and the long mid-October awkwardness! Will has long dreamed of a facial hair rally! Will’s a Son of a Shitter Man! Will’s keeping it high and tight in Colorado! You never see Maine coming! Land of 1,000 Night Tickles! Weird goblin roleplay to save the marriage! It certainly ain’t hurtin’ (nudge nudge, wink wink)! Nelson receives another lesson in the perils of yes-anding! Zoom solstice parties! Kids, always wait for the third time! Lighten them bricks! We’ve been preparing you for the future this entire time (you’re welcome)(sorry about the night tickles)! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepo

Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happiest of All Possible Holidays, we love you, but this is a weird Christmas episode, not gonna lie! The sound is a little off, too. Sorry! The Notes: Paying back the 2 minutes we owe you: a podcast ! Will’s Movie Reviews for Violent Night and Clerks 3! A lot of pleasant surprises for the old Willster! After the first thaw is prime dune buggy weather! What should Will and his Mom do for their Boxing Day layover in Amsterdam: Anne Frank Museum, get high, or both!? Robot dog demonstration cautionary tale! Goatee Remembrances! Goatees vs the Civil War! Nelson’s Cat attacks! It’s good to explore! The road to museum hell is paved with robot dogs! Let these robot dogs have jobs! Let these robot dogs have appropriate jobs! A confusing, hesitant “yes, and” progression about robot rights that flies too close to the Holocaust during the high holy days! Robot rights vs Will’s fear of AI! There’s been worse Christmases! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod

It’s another dubious notetaking effort, but we are back to our usual 22+ minutes runtime (I know we still owe you like a minute from last time, don’t worry, we’re good for it). The Notes: Will’s thinking about his yesterdays when he should be thinking about his tomorrows! Are the English meant to feel emotion like we do!? Anxiety Corner! The primary weapon of the English! If the situation is a-happenin! Letting your hashtags step outside, stroll down the road, and say hi to the neighbors! Faulknering it! Hemingway on Twitter! Hemingway vs Kanye! The desperation in Will’s eyes! Marketing Corner- this one’s for those of you in the turkey business! Gobbles the Turkey, the adorable turkey mascot! Gobbles the Turkey vs Goebbels the Turkey, let’s sell some turkey and fight the rising tide of fascism! I don’t believe in putting people on lists unless it’s a list of people who root for a nazi turkey! Give me a call, English turkey businesses! Celsius vs Fahrenheit! #CelsiusForScienceFahrenheitForHotDays! This one goe