Coming Up For Air - Families Speak To Families About Addiction

(29 min)   Kayla and Laurie dive into the issue 'When crisis mode becomes chronic.' They look into WHY you don't want that, including the neuro-science behind it (cortisol levels).  "Fight or flight is an unsustainable state," Kayla points out. If it has become your new normal, know that you're not doing yourself, or your loved one, any favors. Poking fun at her own tendency to want to "fix" situations and wield her baseball bat, Kayla reminds us that (unless it's actually our job), we are NOT first responders.  Laurie describes the days when she was desperately calling her son's drug dealers or lurking in their neighborhoods, when he'd gone missing. Learn why Laurie and Kayla are both huge fans of "the pause." And why it's sometimes important to embrace the "I don't know." When our thoughts and feelings are out of control, we often respond by trying to try to fix or control the situation with our loved one, but that is often simply not possible. However, it IS possible to override the out

to come(35 min) The family of a loved one using substances often receives discouraging messages like "there's nothing you can do to change things" or "just wait until they hit rock bottom." The CRAFT method flies in the face of those cultural beliefs. At Allies in Recovery, we give families a framework, a toolkit, a system to put in place. Results don't appear overnight, though as our founder, Dominique Simon-Levine, often says, "CRAFT is the fastest way through. Even if you feel things need an urgent response." This episode focuses on "Low-Hanging Fruit," meaning: Give yourself some easy-to-accomplish, satisfying tasks that you can do today, to help move the situation forward with your loved one. You absolutely can help to move things forward. There absolutely are action items that you can do TODAY. And you absolutely can influence your loved one in the direction of treatment and recovery. Science has shown this to be true. Listen in! Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s

When your loved one plays the "Blame" card or shames you or guilts you, what are your options? This topic actually has many more layers than you may think. And yes, there are some concrete and powerful things you can do to deflect the blame or guilt they're trying to send your way. Our hosts explain why the "Blame Game" is actually a very smart and adaptive technique that our loved ones with Substance Use use to self-soothe. Kayla gives us some of the strongest cards to use when they pull out their well-worn Blame card. Laurie shares her tips for empowering both yourself, and your loved one, in these sticky, tricky conversations (both face-to-face and over the phone). Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more @ alliesinrecovery.net   Membership is FREE during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Why all the hubbub about stigmatizing language when it comes to Substance Use?  Is "addiction" a bad word? Laurie MacDougall is author of the article "The Power of Language," on the Allies in Recovery blog, which explores how removing stigma from the language we use (ie, Substance Use vs. Substance Abuse) can have dramatic effects on the care and treatment people receive. Laurie explains her position (and how she came to it) to colleagues et co-hosts Kayla and Dominique, who at first admit they'd rather stick to their established ways of referring to Addiction / Substance Use Disorder / Opiate Use Disorder / Alcohol Use Disorder, etc. Will Laurie win them over? Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more @ alliesinrecovery.net   Membership is FREE during the COVID-19 pandemic.

What does 'Identity' have to do with substance use in the family? Here are a couple examples of how our identity can trip us up: - I'm so enmeshed with my loved one and their substance use that when you ask me how I am, I tell you about how my loved one is doing, or I'm incapable of knowing what I am actually feeling, or I figure, it doesn't really matter. - I may believe that I have the responsibility of punishing, or creating consequences for my loved one's substance use, and I may keep returning to this approach despite the fact that I see it's not helping my loved one or our communications. When we're too attached to a role we've been playing, or think we should play, this often puts blinders on us... we are much less able to take an honest look at the dynamics between ourselves and our loved one. And why do we want to have a clearer vision of the dynamics? In order to change things up. Even though, as Kayla says, "changing your identity is the scariest things in the world." We hope that listening to this

How does shame fit in to Substance Use and the family system? We're not talking about the shame you feel when you've done something regrettable, but rather the deeper, internalized belief that so many of us have, that says "There's something wrong with me." Kayla calls it "character assassination". Shame plays a prominent role where substance use has become problematic: the person misusing substances often feels shame about being stuck in the pattern, and the family often falls into the trap of blaming themselves for where their child/family member is, which they may feel reflects badly on them. It can be a real shame-fest. Join our hosts for this illuminating conversation. You'll learn to start peeling away the layers and get to the core of the issue. Why is this important? Why is it one of the things we ask you to look at when you're working our program for families? Because the family works as a system. And the more you learn to see and understand your role in the system, the more power you'll have to shif

A continuation of last week's podcast, we get in depth about the intricacies of dealing with a loved one in a situation of limited connection navigating the realities of the dynamics in how do you communicate and draw a loved one back in and stay connected and draw em back in when theres limited communication or stuck with only text messaging and also what do you do when you finally have that commmunication with a call with your loved on and they are beligerent and treating you like a whipping post Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more @ alliesinrecovery.net   Membership is FREE during the COVID-19 pandemic.

(34min) CRAFT puts the family in the role of informed shepherd for their Loved One (LO) with Substance Use, and the method was designed for families who have day-to-day interactions with the LO and can use their influence in that framework. But how do you continue the conversation and work the magic of CRAFT if your Loved One is far away, or if you have very minimal contact? Can you rekindle communication, can you get to a softer, more trusting relationship, and can you shine the light on treatment for your Loved One. . . all the while being far away or having minimal interactions? We believe that yes, you absolutely can! Learn to coax the scared, wounded animal back out of the woods and back into a relationship with you. Learn to communicate without the anxiety and panic that are often part of the family member's experience, by putting yourself in a "connecting position" vs. a "threatening position." Learn how to change the dynamic of "the pursuer and the avoider" with your communications. Kayla's example is

(39 min)   Following their discussion on Episode #72, Laurie, Kayla and Dominique look at the "First thought, Second Thought" phenomenon, a key topic in Cognitive Behavior Therapy. It's an important one for anyone, but especially for families addressing the needs of a Loved One with addiction and/or trauma. Kayla reminds us that "You are not the center of their universe, even if they love you," and emphasizes the importance of getting space inside our own heads. Thoughts happen, and we can actually learn to react and respond to them differently. How do you get space? This is about getting mental space. Literally, you're taking a pause. You're looking at that first thought, saying "that's interesting," and putting some space before you allow the second thought in. "When we look at our Loved Ones as the "Identified Problem," that's a trap that they can never get out of," says Kayla. "So, the more we look at ourselves  . . . the more we release them to just focus on themselves and their own issues

(33 min 45 sec) "How do I calm my system down enough so that I'm not eating and drinking battery acid every day?" or in other words, "How can I go from a reflexive, automatic, unconscious reaction to actually being able to have choice over my reactions?" Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more @ alliesinrecovery.net   Membership is FREE during the COVID-19 pandemic.

(20 min 5 sec) Dominique interviews Annie Highwater on her journey to her current vocation Annie speaks of the feelings of craziness and chaos she grew up in: "When life feels hopeless and you feel like everyone around you is losing their mind... I was so surrounded by it, I never saw a way out!" She speaks of the peer support work she does now, and shares a message of hope that comes from her own lived experience: "Recovery is a beautiful thing, and it's possible for any family." She talks about her own journey to healing: "I started noticing that the more peaceful I was, the calmer the situation would be." Annie's enthusiasm is catching, and her journey is inspiring. Tune in! Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more @ alliesinrecovery.net   Membership is FREE during the COVID-19 pandemic.

(24 min 39 sec) Allies Founder & Director, Dominique Simon-Levine, interviews Laurie MacDougall, Allies collaborator and creator of REST educational groups. Dominique was especially interested in what pushed Laurie to leave her former occupation and begin focusing on the work she does today: educating, advocating for, and supporting families affected by Substance Use Disorder.  Laurie describes various life circumstances that came together and sparked change, including her discovery of the Allies in Recovery website. She talks about what was in her head when she created REST and how the momentum brought her to where she is today. Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more @ alliesinrecovery.net   Membership is FREE during the COVID-19 pandemic.

If you've ever felt baffled or enraged by communicating with a loved one, you're sure to appreciate this episode. Peer Recovery specialist Laurie MacDougall is joined by Imago Relationship therapist Kayla Solomon and Allies in Recovery's chief editor, Isabel Cooney, for an eye-opening dive into Reflective Listening. What is it? How does it work? What are the benefits for you, and the person you're reflectively listening to? And why does Kayla believe in it so much that she says she'd use it if someone were pointing a gun at her? Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more @ alliesinrecovery.net   Membership is FREE during the COVID-19 pandemic.

(45:56)  In this episode Cheryl Juaire joins Laurie to share her personal journey through heartache and grief after losing her son to SUD. She details the steps in her grief and how community helped her get a new perspective on life with grief. Inspired by her participation in a group for mothers who've lost children to SUD, she created a sharing platform called TEAM SHARING. Through social networking, community activism, grief services and advocacy, TEAM SHARING provides support and friendship to grieving families while working to raise awareness of SUD and its impact on our communities.  Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more @ alliesinrecovery.net Membership is FREE during the COVID-19 pandemic.

(1 hour 1 min) Kayla Solomon joins Laurie MacDougall to address the question, “How do Alanon / Naranon differ from CRAFT?”  The two most common approaches for family members dealing with SUD are broken down and compared. Listen to this in-depth discussion on the differences, and a few similarities, between CRAFT and Alanon/Naranon. Which approach discourages continued interaction with your LO? Which one encourages you to reflect upon both the family member's role and the LO's behaviors? Which one gives you a toolkit for staying in touch and building a bridge with your LO? You can't afford not to listen to this episode! Topics in this post: Al-Anon, CRAFT 101, Self-help groups

In this episode, Tommy Joyce, Director of Recovery Support Services at the East Bay Recovery Center, comes on the show to share his recovery journey and how he came to be an ally to people with SUD. He responds to the question: “What are Recovery Communities and Certified Peer Recovery Specialists?”  We also get insight into his work, and his perspective on the current drug-use crisis. Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more @ alliesinrecovery.net   Membership is FREE during the COVID-19 pandemic.

In today's episode of Coming Up for Air, Annie Highwater focuses on peer support. She interviews Brian Bailys, Thrive CEO and creator of Ascent. Ascent - Regain Control is a patient support mobile app designed to help people in recovery walk the path to sobriety.   Ascent also is an in-person peer recovery coaching service and an emergency room peer support service. Listen in to learn more about peer recovery coaching and Thrive Peer Support. Learn more about Thrive @ thrivepeersupport.org Check out the Ascent - Regain Control app here or get in touch hello@ascent-program.com Warmest thanks you to Annie for her inspiring words, her dedication and her enthusiasm. Click here for more Coming Up for Air episodes. Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more @ alliesinrecovery.net Membership is FREE

In this new Coming Up for Air episode, Allies in Recovery guest blogger and creator of REST, Laurie MacDougall, interviews Dr. John Fitzgerald. Dr. John Fitzgerald recently launched the 5-Actions Program with the support of the state of New Mexico. The 5-Actions Program is an educational online program to help people understand and overcome addiction. Check out this incredible resource at nm5actions.com. Free for all New Mexico residents. If you are not a resident of New Mexico, contact us here to express your interest (please provide zip code in your message). We're hoping many more states will follow NM's lead and we're collecting requests from all over the country! You can also head to John's website, addictionhelp.org and read about 5-actions and his eye-opening approach for long-lasting change and well-being. Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Lear

Columbus, Ohio. Allies in Recovery contributor and acclaimed writer Annie Highwater meets with some of Heartland High's key staff members, making for an uplifting and heartfelt Coming Up for Air episode! In today's episode, School Director Dr. Paige Stewart and Student Engagement Coordinator Jennifer Belemu describe Heartland High's ground-breaking approach based on individualized learning, kindness and compassion. Listen in to learn more about how Heartland students in recovery manage to rekindle hope as well as regain self-confidence and dignity. heartlandhighschool.org anniehighwater.com Warmest thanks to Annie for her inspiring words, her dedication and her enthusiasm. Click here for more Coming Up for Air episodes. Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more @ alliesinrecovery.net Membership is FREE during the COVID-19 pandemic.

In this episode of Coming Up for Air, Annie Highwater and Katie Donovan share thoughts about how their children's active addiction affected their whole family. Invested to help their kids overcome addiction, they both questionned their own behaviors, only to grow, heal and become stronger women, mothers, and individuals. amothersaddictionjourney.com anniehighwater.com Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more @ alliesinrecovery.net Membership is FREE during the COVID-19 pandemic.