Wyoy Weekly News

The nation proves its innocence is still intact by expressing genuine shock at this week's revelations about Donald Trump. Did the man who bragged about committing sexual assault numerous times actually commit sexual assault numerous times? The answer will apparently surprise you!

Cool Dad Tim Kaine debates Scary Dad Mike Pence and the whole nation agrees that neither of them will ever be able to replace their real father. Plus the latest episode of Foreign Leaders Say the Darndest Things!

A mysterious non-dying woman debates a coke-addled muppet on national television and more breaking news from the end of the Republic.

The candidates prepare for Monday's debate while North Carolina deals with its worst crisis since a transgender person had to pee. Plus, fancy trophies for famous people and a reminder that Yahoo is still a thing!

The Clinton campaign races to contain the fallout from the revelation that the former Secretary of State housed a previously undisclosed cardiovascular system and other top stories from the week's news.

Matt Lauer kills the headphone jack and other top stories from the week's news.

Donald Trump proves he's ready for the Oval Office by acting vaguely Presidential for nearly eight whole hours (plus several more reasons to prepare for the apocalypse). More importantly: A new study about dogs!

A vengeful God ravages with the people of earth with natural disasters while a vengeful Trump ravages the news cycle with the unnatural disaster of his campaign. All that, plus a look at the planet we'll all be fleeing to if Trump is elected!

Full team coverage of the 2016 Olympics from as close to Rio as we're willing to get: Chicago, Illinois. Plus breaking news from the broken GOP campaign.

A complete roundup of everyone Donald Trump attacked this week, from a baby who isn't running for President to members of his own party who aren't running for President (yet). Plus an exclusive look at another garbage fire: The Rio Olympics!

The Democratic Party descends on Philadelphia for a star-studded convention featuring all your favorite Democrats! Also Hillary Clinton was there.

This week Chris covers the Republican National Convention: "I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened."

An attack in France lets Donald Trump delay the season finale of "The Vice Apprentice" while appearing to have a human soul, a seamless transition of power in the UK makes us wonder if monarchy is such a bad thing, and we mourn those lost to Pokemon Go.

A white police officer in [insert city here] fatally shot a black man in the first such incident in [insert number of days here] and Americans were outraged for [insert number of minutes here] before returning to their obsession with a white lady's email.

Boris Johnson rides the magic dragon out of the running for Prime Minister of Westeros, an update to the Chris Christie hostage crisis, and Fruit Loops! Fruit Loops! $7 Bowls of Fruit Loops!

The U.K. GTFOs, Democrats prove that the most productive thing the House of Representatives can do is sit down, and Donald Trump receives an endorsement from another Donald (whose last name I weirdly emphasize because seriously where did he come from?!).

Grab your favorite pillow and get ready to scream into it, because this week's news is chock full of senseless violence and the people who won't do anything about it. Also does coffee fight cancer? Now that's something that sounds vaguely hopeful!

This week (like all other weeks) is all about white men in the news: From rape to racism to the nation's first female presidential nominee, there's nothing white men can't deny the existence of! Thankfully there's a white man here to tell you all about it.

It was a big week for weekly news: Bernie announced an undead campaign for the Democratic nomination, Donald received a long-awaited endorsement from one of the horsemen of the apocalypse, and New York City prepared for armageddon (via Hamilton).

Republicans reject Presidential overreach in their noble effort to give America a good ol' reach around, Donald Trump secures a random number of whackjobs, and Hodor Hodor Hodor. Hodor Hodor. Hodor. Plus the weather!