Sunshine Parenting

In Episode 54, I'm chatting once again with my long-time friend and camp colleague, Dr. Jim Sears. I've known him as Camp Doctor  "Bones" for the past 14 years, but he is better known by his patients at his family's pediatric practice as "Dr. Jim." You might have caught our previous episode (Episode 51), where we talked about building kids' self esteem. In this episode, we talk about some of the benefits of camp and what we think parents can learn from summer camp to bring home some of the benefits of the experience. We touch on topics related to our kids' well-being, including positive behavior management, health tips, encouraging kids to be themselves, gain autonomy, and unplug! Positive Behavior Management Catch them doing the right thing Attention seeking behavior "Give the good attention to specific positive behaviors." Dr. Jim Sears Health Tips "Wow! What's different about my daily living up here at camp?" Quite active - more walking Incidental exercise- walking and chatting with friends from one activi

  In Episode 56, I'm chatting with Laura Vanderkam about her book Off the Clock: Feel Less Busy While Getting More Done. Laura is the best-selling author of several time management and productivity books including 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think, I Know How She Does It: How Successful Women Make the Most of Their Time, and What the Most Successful People do Before Breakfast. Laura also co-hosts the Best of Both Worlds podcast with Sarah Hart-Unger. They discuss work/life balance, career development, parenting, time management, productivity, and making time for fun.Laura lives outside Philadelphia with her husband and four children, and blogs at LauraVanderkam.com. When I read Off the Clock in August, I shared my thoughts about it here. I am thrilled that I also had the opportunity to interview Laura for my podcast and ask her questions including her advice for how to overcome the hurdles I faced trying to track my time. Big Ideas Time and how we perceive it We all have the same amount of time bu

In this episode, I'm talking to Debbie Reber, creator of TiLT Parenting, the host of the TiLT Parenting Podcast, and the author of Differently Wired: Raising and Exceptional Child in a Conventional World. While this book was written mainly for parents that need extra support, I think it will resonate with all parents of all kids. Big Ideas Every child deserves to be understood and accepted for who they are. We are all wired differently. Some differences are more visible than others. Each kid needs different tools to thrive in life and we can help them figure out what they need for their individual journey. When parents and children communicate their needs and explain their differences to others, people are more understanding and accepting. 3 Key Take-Aways: Find a community and resources Find the right kind of support (parent coach, couples counselor, online communities) Embrace and accept kids' strengths; teach them to articulate their needs. Gifted kids also have special needs that can be addressed and

I've had such an incredible time this fall meeting with parents, teachers, and kids in person to talk about some of the strategies I write about in my book, Happy Campers. One topic that comes up regularly is the importance of learning to keep ourselves calm and model calm down strategies for our kids, as well as helping our kids figure out their own calm down strategies. In this episode, I am sharing my ideas and tips on Big Ideas Synonyms & Antonyms for Calm For most of us, our level of calm seems to depend on our personality. Learning to self-regulate and manage anger can really have lasting positive effects. Flipping Our Lids Hand Brain Model - Daniel Siegel What's Your Favorite Calm Down Strategy? Breathing Learning to Breathe Deep Breathing (Web MD) Most people take short, shallow breaths into their chest. It can make you feel anxious and zap your energy. With this technique, you'll learn how to take bigger breaths, all the way into your belly. • Get comfortable. You can lie on your back in bed

In this episode, I am speaking live with parents from Wayne Highlands School District and Superintendent Greg Frigoletto at Lakeside Elementary. We discuss my book, Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults, and my key parenting tips and takeaways from lessons learned at camp. I spent the first week of October in Pennsylvania and Wisconsin speaking with teachers, parents, and camp professionals. You read about these events and see more pictures in this post. Big Ideas Parents need to have a growth mindset when thinking about their parenting skills. Lessons we learn at camp are: how to relate to kids how to make sure kids feel connected how to handle different behavioral issues as they come up It helps parents to "begin with the end in mind" (Dr. Stephen R. Covey) when deciding where they can make a more of an effort with their kids. Connection is crucial. Begin a daily habit of checking in one-on-one with kids and let children take the lead when they have thoughts to

In episode 107, I'm talking with Paul Tough about his latest book, The Years That Matter Most: How college makes or breaks us, a powerful mind-changing inquiry into higher education in the United States. We talk about the state of higher education today and how can we help more young Americans achieve success. Big Ideas Paul Tough's book examines the relationship between higher education and social mobility in the United States today and explores these questions: Does college still work? Is our system of high education fair? How can we help more young Americans achieve success? In the past, higher education was the great engine of social mobility but that relationship has broken down. Today it is viewed by many as an obstacle to social mobility. The most selective institutions, with the biggest endowments and budgets, almost exclusively educate affluent students, while low-income students mostly go to less selective community colleges and regional public universities that spend much less on each student a

In this episode, I’m chatting with author Nefertiti Austin about her latest book, Motherhood So White: A Memoir of Race, Gender, and Parenting in America. We talk about her journey to adoption as a single Black woman and some of the issues faced by mothers of color and adoptive mothers. When she couldn’t find any books on the topic while going through the adoption process, she decided to write her own.   Big Ideas Fostered and adopted kids need to be given age-appropriate information from caregivers about their situations. Good communication is critical to helping kids understand what is going on around them. It’s important to never talk badly about a child’s biological parents, no matter the situation. Allow kids to try new things and leave the door open for them to pursue their interests. The term ‘crack babies’ is a misnomer; there is no evidence to support the idea that children exposed to substances in utero can’t thrive in a healthy, stable home environment. People should not be afraid to adopt a chil

In this episode, I'm chatting with Dr. Rob Reiher, co-host of the Live Above the Noise podcast. Dr. Reiher is a developmental and educational psychologist, media expert and author. We discuss the escalating impact of technology, media, and consumerism and the overload on children, families, and society. Dr. Reiher focuses on educating parents on the importance of teaching children to live above the noise and distraction of our world. BIG IDEAS Dr. Reiher's career began in product development but it soon became clear to him that the corporate world was more interested in profits than psychology. When your work is not congruent with your beliefs, it can cause harm emotionally and physically. We need to live our values. Humans are hard-wired to be distracted and are wired with blind spots. The Inner IQ stands for Inner Integral Qualities – a critical set of inner qualities (such as self-management) that protect and prepare our children for the future. There are 3 IQ categories and each category breaks down into

In this episode, Sara and I are chatting with Pam Roy, who offers research-based and important information for parents about education and career planning. We talk about how the world we're working in has changed and evolved since we were in college and how to position our kids for a successful future. This episode was recorded in response to the recent news about the college admissions scandal. Here are a few relevant posts to check out on Pam's blog: Preparing Students for Success in the New Economy No Time to Lose: We Must Broaden Our Children's Exposure to the Real World A Generation of Students Caught Between Two Worlds Modern Parenting: The Downside of a One-sided Balance Sheet The Dollars and Sense of a College Degree Big Ideas A college degree does not necessarily make a successful adult. Human beings are not standardized, and our world needs all the different types of human beings. Many jobs require a very specific skill set, but not a degree. Millennials are getting to make choices about their work

In Episode 103, I'm chatting with Carla Naumberg, a writer, speaker, clinical social worker, and parenting coach. She's the author of three parenting books, including the one that we discuss in this podcast episode, How To Stop Losing Your S*** With Your Kids: A practical guide to becoming a calmer, happier parent. BIG IDEAS Mindful parenting allows you to have stronger relationships with your children and enjoy parenting more. The strategies you use to remain calm with your kids will work with everyone else as well. Parents often feel deep, overwhelming shame about the way they explode at their kids and this often gets in the way of their ability to parent in the way they want to. When parents become triggered, it's the fight or flight response of their nervous system being activated. Parents need the time to exercise, to get some quiet time alone, and to do some fun things. This will make them less likely to yell at their kids. Parents need support. Parents should realize that it's necessary to take care o

10 Friendship Skills Every Kid Needs Listener Question: How do I help my 13-year-old daughter with her social anxiety? Social Anxiety Resources: What is Social Anxiety?Social Anxiety Disorder, WED MD Parenting News: New research on screen time's impact on our kids' ability to persevere through problem solving: "Turn it Off Right Now!" Great Schools Parenting Tip: Have family members think up a "question of the night" for each person to answer. Quote of the cast: "True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island...to find one real friend is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing." Baltasar Gracian Resources/Related: Questions for Connections10 Ways to Create a Happy and Connected Class5 Steps to Help Kids Resolve Conflicts10 Ways to Teach Kids to Calm DownWhy Cheerleaders Have Happier Marriages, Christine Carter

In Episode 102, I'm chatting with Lisa Heffernan, the co-founder of Grown and Flown, the popular website, blog and Facebook group with nearly 120,000 members. We talk about the brand new book that she has co-authored with Mary Dell Harrington, called Grown And Flown, How To Support Your Teen, Stay Close As Family, And Raise Independent Adults, which draws upon the expert advice they've curated over the years. Just as their tagline suggests, "Parenting Never Ends." Kids need different types of support from their parents when they've left home and parents need to make big adjustments, as well. We discuss some common issues faced by parents with "grown" kids.

In Episode 53, I'm chatting with my oldest daughter and favorite high school English teacher, Gretchen Monke. She has done a terrific job of connecting with her students and has some excellent insights on how parents can partner with teachers to help kids succeed at school. We discuss four ways to help your child succeed at school. #1 Promote Ownership Over Their own Education Help child take more ownership over their own education. Encourage them to communicate directly with their teacher. #2 Help Them Get Organized Organizational skills are really important. Make sure they have an organized agenda and binder. Digital organization is important, as well. A lot of children don't have organizational skills. "But ultimately is the student's responsibility to take that information and learn it and apply it. And I think sometimes parents place that responsibility on teachers." "I can teach your child how to write a paragraph, but I can't write it for them." #3 Teach Kids to Be Proactive The 7 Habits of Highly Eff

  "Giving too much is oftentimes an affliction of the wealthy, but taking away the struggle is a problem with everybody." -Richard Watts "Palm trees, in that process of growing, what's actually happening in the wind is they're actually cracking and they're breaking. And when the skin breaks, they scar. And when they scar, they become stronger. And as they get older and older, they get to the point where they have so much scarring that they can withstand almost any storm. And what we do with our kids, it's almost like taking a palm tree indoors. We want to grow them and nurture them in a greenhouse..." -Richard Watts Entitlemania: How Not to Spoil Your Kids, and What to Do if You Have Back in April, when Sara Kuljis and I spoke at Pegasus School, parents there told me about Richard Watts, who had spoken at the school earlier in the year. We were introduced, and he then sent me a copy of his book Entitlemania. In this episode, we talk about the book and Richard's ideas about what to do and what not to do when

In Episode 100, I'm chatting with an amazing group of young adults ages 16 and 17 who participated in a month-long junior counselor program. They share their thoughts on ways parents can raise thriving, independent and responsible young adults. BIG IDEAS To help kids learn, gain confidence and independence, there are things parents should be letting their kids do early on, such as: traveling alone, navigating the airport, even flying by themselves packing bags, getting their own school stuff together doing their own laundry cooking (especially holiday meals), managing their time Establish expectations and a level of trust with your teen. Using technology to track your kids can cause unnecessary stress. Camp is a great break for parents because they don’t track their kids. They know they’re safe and so they can relax. Talk ahead of time about safe, comfortable ways to communicate with your teen while they are out so that you can be there to help when needed. Trust first. Trust that your child is responsibl

The Myth of the Perfect Girl In Episode 99, I talk with Ana Homayoun, a nationally recognized counselor and consultant specializing in positive strategies for junior high and high school students. Ana was previously on the podcast (Ep. 45) talking about her book Social Media Wellness: Helping Tweens and Teens Thrive in an Unbalanced Digital World (Corwin Teaching Essentials).  I feel equally as enthusiastic about her book, The Myth of the Perfect Girl: Helping Our Daughters Find Authentic Success and Happiness in School and Life, and that's the book we talk about in this episode. We cover a few of the topics from the book, including why girls tend to think they have to be perfect, why girls are especially sensitive to and influenced by the expectations of others, and ways we can encourage our daughters to seek their own path and their own interests in life. Big Ideas Ana and her team at Green Ivy Educational Consulting want kids to develop into thoughtful, resilient, and interesting young people. And to ta

Episode 95 is a replay of one of my most popular episodes (Ep. 20) with a new intro and additional tips. In this episode, I interview Tina Payne Bryson about the book she co-authored with Dr. Dan Siegel, The Yes Brain- How To Cultivate Courage, Curiosity, and Resilience In Your Child. We talk about what a "Yes Brain" is, how it's different from a "No Brain," why it's so important to cultivate "yes brains" in our children and in ourselves, and strategies for enlarging our "green zones." Big Ideas • The brain is either in a receptive state or a reactive state. • A "Yes Brain" is open and resilient in the world. • A "No Brain" is shut down and reactive in the world. • The Green Zone is a Yes Brain state. • The Blue Zone is a reactive state where our nervous system is turned down too far. • When we are in the Red Zone or the Blue Zone, we are in a reactive state. • The goal is to expand the Green Zone over time. • A fear state is a No Brain state. • The point of discipline is to teach, so in order to become dis

In Episode 96, I'm talking with my friend Brooke Cheley-Klebe of Cheley Colorado Camps. We cover a range of summer camp-related topics including longer camp stays, adjusting to camp and overcoming homesickness, what it's like for teenagers to have the much-needed break from screens, video games, and social media that traditional summer camp programs provide, and the life-long friendships that campers develop at camp. Getting Unplugged at Camp (audio is in the intro for this episode): BIG IDEAS It's as important to build the character of the youth as it is to educate them. Children return from a longer camp stay with freshness and with a new sense of confidence and independence. Unplugging for an extended period of time gives kids the opportunity to develop new habits. In a 27 day time period, kids really are able to jump into the camp experience, settle in, and make friendships. Twenty-seven days is long enough for kids to have to work through it if they are homesick or if there's somebody at camp that they

  In Episode 97, I'm chatting with Signe Whitson. We talk about her book, Parenting The Challenging Child: The Four-Step Way To Turn Problem Situations Into Learning Opportunities, which is based on her work at the Life Space Crisis Intervention, an organization dedicated to training teachers, counselors, and parents on how to appropriately respond to challenging behaviors from kids. The program helps us to better understand the conflict cycle that we can get into with kids when they are exhibiting bad behaviors and how we can help break that cycle. Previously, in episode 66, I spoke to Signe about her research and article about distinguishing between rude, mean, and bullying behaviors in children. After Signe's visit to my camp this summer to do training with our counselors, we now call each other by our camp names, Sunshine and Ginger. Big Ideas One of the most important tools that kids have for calming down is deep breathing. Another important tool that kids have for calming down is movement. It's importa

In Episode 94, I talk about why I wrote my new book, Happy Campers- Nine Summer Camp Secrets For Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults, why I changed to a 'less is more' style of parenting, how the book is set up, who I wrote the book for, how I want people to use the book, and what we're going to be doing in the Happy Campers Book Club this summer! Why I wrote Happy Campers I wrote Happy Campers because I've had a lifelong interest in child development and positive psychology, and just understanding what makes people flourish. A lot of the things we do at summer camp can be taken home and used at home to help kids just connect with each other and with their parents, and have a lot more fun at home. I realized, about five years into parenting, that I needed to bring more of my camp techniques home. And really simple things that we train our camp counselors to do, parents can easily bring home. I've been noticing in the past few decades, it just seems like kids and parents are struggling a lot more with all