Sunshine Parenting

Show notes & links. I've spent the past weeks talking with youth development experts who are sharing their advice and encouragement for parents during this crazy time of social distancing, sheltering at home, or what I like to now call "Iso for the Rona" (the Australian term for "Isolation for the Coronavirus" that I learned from my email friend Vicki).  Over the next several episodes, I'll be sharing excerpts from those interviews, as well as links to the resources and ideas my guests shared. I'm kicking off this series with two chats with teachers - one current high school teacher and one former sixth grade teacher. Both of them have a lot of experience working with and teaching kids, and they have some great ideas for parents who are new to "teaching" and now have your kids at home full time. I hope our chats bring you some encouragement during this challenging time! Please continue to reach out to me with your feedback, questions, and ideas! Thank you for joining me in raising kids who become thriving

Show notes & links available here. In this episode, I'm speaking with Apryl Krakovsky, founder and CEO of My School in Motion, an award-winning program that promotes fitness, nutrition, wellness and health education for school communities. Moving together every morning for healthier minds, bodies, and attitudes! Big Ideas Apryl started the program when she noticed the need for more physical education at her kids' school. The program is now in 53 schools in five states benefitting as many as 20,000 students. It educates and empowers students to make smart choices about movement, nutrition, health, and wellness. The workouts are thoughtfully crafted to bolster students’ self-esteem and promote personal wellbeing by including physical tasks that every student can be successful performing, regardless of grade level, age, fitness level, experience, or special needs. The power of movement can be the cornerstone of your mental and emotional health. The My School In Motion curriculum is innovatively designed to

Show Notes Hi Friends, I hope you are staying healthy and somewhat sane during these unbelievably unpredictable and anxiety-inducing times. Life continues to be completely different from normal, and I'm gathering and sharing resources I think you'll find helpful and encouraging. Below, find notes and photos about what I talked about in this week's episode! Let me know what's working for you during COVID-19 quarantine! I'd love to share your ideas with our community. audrey@sunshine-parenting.com P.S. The picture in this week's title is from 16 years ago. We haven't had any scenes like that in the past two weeks (or the past 14 years) around here! More to listen to/watch from this past week • Happier in Hollywood Bonus Episode: Parenting & Staying Positive During COVID-19 (My interview with hosts Sarah Fain & Liz Craft). Advice & Encouragement for Parents of Younger Kids • Creative Learning Ideas for Younger Kids. Advice & Encouragement for Parents of High Schoolers • Daily Activities Check

Show notes & links available here. In this podcast episode, I interview college professor and author Dr. Jennifer Etnier about the importance of having a positive impact on kids when coaching youth sports. Her book, Coaching for the Love of the Game: a Practical Guide for Working with Young Athletes, outlines simple strategies that coaches can use to be sure that a kid's experience is positive, while also promoting sports and continued physical activity. As a sport and exercise psychologist, Jenny works in youth sports alongside athletes, other coaches and is a coaching educator. She is also a parent of two 13-year-old sons and one 15-year-old daughter. Big Ideas Youth sports are huge! More than 20 million children in the U.S. are involved. Their coaches range from professional coaches to casual, part-time coaching volunteers, like parents or former players. Kids need good coaches. Training to be a coach is typically not required or provided and so unfortunately for many kids, their experience in sport

Show notes & links available here. In this episode, my friend Sara Kuljis and I are back together talking about uncluttering our schedules and our homes. Sara and her husband Steve Kuljis are the owners and directors of Yosemite Sierra Summer Camp and Emerald Cove Day Camp. Sara is also a certified Gallup Strengths Coach. Sara and I have been friends for two decades, and she has been a regular guest on the podcast talking in past episodes about strengths, sibling conflicts & relationships, gratitude, how to compliment our kids, grit, and more. Together we also do a live parenting workshop. Big Ideas Uncluttering our Schedules Look back at past events that family members enjoyed and identify what was special about those experiences to help you determine what your family values. Talk about people or families you admire and why you admire them. Use their example to inspire your family's values or actions. Look at your calendar of activities to see which ones support your values. Note where the gaps of do

Show notes & links available here. In this episode, I'm talking to Steve Baskin about raising strong, anti-fragile kids. Steve and his wife, Susie, are the owners and directors of Camp Champions in Marble Falls, Texas. For over 27 years, Steve has studied the camp experience and how to make it the best possible growth opportunity for kids. In his new essay, A Manifesto to Strength (published below for the first time) and in this interview, Steve shares his thoughts on what we can do as parents to raise kids who aren't so fragile. Big Ideas The summer camp experience offers kids so many benefits and opportunities for education and development. Avoid over-parenting and preparing the road for your child. Instead, prepare your child for the road by doing less for them as they get older. Kids who are allowed to experience life's ups and downs, learn to advocate for themselves and who learn from their mistakes are more equipped for adulthood. Protecting kids from discomfort is not the same thing as protecting

In this episode, I'm joined by my good friend and longtime camp industry colleague, Brooke Cheley-Klebe. Both of us have three daughters, so we've had a lot of discussion over the years about raising girls. In this episode, Brooke and I talk about how she stays close to her daughters, currently ages 14, 11, and 7.  She has many insights both as a mom and from her 25 years working with campers and staff at Cheley Colorado Camps. Parenting girls today is more challenging than ever. We can all use new ideas and insights, and Brooke has some simple strategies to stay close to her girls. Parents and caregivers can help their daughters become thriving adults by focusing on our connection and relationship with our daughters. Show up in those little moments, such as having breakfast together, bedtime, driving in the car. Make eye contact, and connect. Rituals--especially around bedtime--are important anchors in your relationship with your children. Help girls understand that they're enough just the way they are. It'

Show notes & links available here. In this episode, I'm speaking with Niki Spears, the co-founder of the Energy Bus for Schools Leadership Journey. She started this organization to bring the positive messages of Jon Gordon's book, The Energy Bus, to schools everywhere. Niki has spent over 15 years working in education. Once an elementary school principal, she now works full time as a teacher educator and change leader. Big Ideas Educators have the power to transform the culture of their schools and create an environment kids love with amazing, positive energy. Research clearly shows that culture and leadership greatly influence a school’s learning environment and students’ academic success. Bringing the principles from The Energy Bus to life in schools has helped transform the culture in classrooms around the country. A key principle taught is that you're the driver of your bus. Your attitude will help you to control the outcome. Giving students the opportunity to understand the power of choice is import

Show notes & links available here. In this episode, I'm talking about my theme for this month: Connection! All month long, my posts and podcast episodes are centered around this topic, and it's one that I feel is critically important to raising thriving kids. In fact, the first chapter of my book Happy Campers (Secret #1) is Connection comes first. 6 Tips for Creating Connection #1 Ask good questions. As Chris Thurber shared in last week's episode (Ep. 122: How to Connect with Your Teen with Chris Thurber), Parents often ask kids questions about school and sports - questions that focus on their achievements - instead of questions that are more about them as a person. Use my Questions for Connection download (below) for 50 questions that can help spur deeper conversations with your kids. These kinds of questions show your child that you care about them, and you're interested in their thoughts and feelings. Don't forget to ask follow up questions. If they share about a topic, circling back to that, even a d

Show notes & links available here. In this episode, I'm chatting with Dr. Chris Thurber, a legendary trainer in the camp industry and a clinical psychologist who works at Phillips Exeter Academy, about how important it for parents to connect with their teens. Chris has developed online training programs for educators and youth leaders around the world and many of the best practices and concepts he teaches apply to parents. We also discuss how the skills kids learn at camp can help them to thrive in life. Big Ideas Even one summer working at a summer camp can be so valuable for the experience gained and training in relational, leadership, and communication skills. Much of the training camp counselors receive is helpful for teachers and parents. Thurber's Tic-Tac advice: Expend as little energy as possible, “no more energy than a Tic-Tac.” Take a break from lecturing or nagging and instead use the low-energy responses of a look, a point, or just saying the child’s name. In our society today, it is harde

Show notes & links available here. Dr. Tina Payne Bryson is one of my favorite people. She's a psychotherapist, founder and executive director of the Center for Connection in Pasadena, California, and co-author with Dr. Daniel Siegel of four of my favorite books, including her most recent one (out on January 7, 2020):  The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become And How Their Brains Get Wired. Over the past several years, I've had the privilege of getting to know Tina not just as an amazing speaker and author but as a phenomenal person and friend. She even wrote the foreword for my book, Happy Campers! In The Power of Showing Up, Tina and Dan share important research and findings about childhood attachment and how being present for our kids is so vital for their healthy development. This book is helpful not only for parents but also for adults who want to better understand how their own childhoods impact their adult relationships and how to change generational patterns of ins

In this episode, Sara Kuljis and I discuss the importance of family rituals and traditions. It's one of the topics that we wanted to cover with parents in our Raise Thriving Kids Workshop that we had in September. Big Ideas Family Rituals and traditions are important because they: help build a sense of shared identity and deep belonging. help us organize and make sense of an ever-changing world. help teach and impact faith and family values. They may remind us of our cultural backgrounds. provide safe spaces and anchors in an ever-changing world. help us cope with trauma and loss. produce amazing memories, the silly and the sacred. Talk to your kids about what traditions are important to them and let them come up with their own. Quotes Sara: "It has been remarkable to watch how important, year after year, the daily rituals and traditions of summer camp are to our campers and to our staff. I dove in and did quite a bit of research on this and was struck by how profoundly shaping rituals and traditions are

This episode is a live recording of my chat with Sara Kuljis about some of our favorite year-end reflection activities. Joining Sara and me for this episode is Kate Rader, one of the participants from our Raise Thriving Kids Workshop. Kate is a stay-at-home mom to 3 adventure-seeking and fun-loving kiddos, Lauren and Caroline, identical twins who are 13 and Jack, age 10, wife to her college sweetheart Jeff and curious lover of books, podcasts, and conversations about intentional parenting and living. [caption id="attachment_6803" align="alignnone" width="1024"]Kate Rader and family[/caption] Here's what Kate had to say about our workshop: "It was just so wonderful to be in a room with people who care enough to be intentional about the choices they're making for their families and what they want for their families because it's a work in progress--and we're all working together." Big Ideas In addition to parenting books, podcasts, and coaching, workshops are a great resource for parents. Just as most people n

Show notes & links available here. In this episode, I'm speaking to Dr. Jennifer Levin, a marriage and family therapist who specializes in health crises or transitions, especially related to traumatic grief and loss. We discuss ways to support others, particularly children, and promote growth after trauma. Big Ideas Traumatic grief is an unexpected, sudden loss that people experience. Sudden, devastating events can cause a great deal of grief, trauma, and stress. People experience post-traumatic growth when their life changes significantly for the better due to the experience they had with the trauma. There are four areas wherein people experience post-traumatic growth: deeper relationships increased personal strength positive spiritual changes stronger appreciation for life in general Kids and adults react differently to grief and trauma. Kids tend to float in and out, whereas adults may get stuck in deep sadness and experience more of the traumatic symptoms. The first thing to do for children after

Show notes & links available here. In this episode, I'm chatting with mindfulness expert Hunter Clarke-Fields, author of Raising Good Humans: A Mindful Guide to Breaking the Cycle of Reactive Parenting and Raising Kind, Confident Kids, is my guest on for Episode 117. We talk about the importance of modeling positive responses to difficult situations and using tools like mindfulness and meditation to be a less reactive parent. Hunter's blog, podcast, and other resources can be found at MindfulMamaMentor.com. Big Ideas Raising Good Humans is a book that offers tools and ideas for parents on: how to regulate your stress response how to become less reactive how to respond in order to get more cooperation from your children There are 2 main parts of the book: The Inner Work mindfulness, unhooking from negative thoughts, meditation learning about your own triggers how to manage difficult feelings and model problem solving self-compassion. The Outer Work -- Skillful Communication Mindfulness is the int

Off the Clock: Feel Less Busy While Getting More Done by Laura Vanderkam My rating: 5 of 5 stars I’ve been obsessively telling everyone about this quick read. If you, like me, feel a bit “at war” with time, feeling there’s “never enough” and you “don’t have time to relax,” then you’ll benefit from Vanderkam’s wisdom, too. The book, true to its title, offers realistic ways to both feel less busy and get more done. More importantly, Vanderkam reminds us to focus on making the most of the moments and time we do have and always remember that "people are a good use of time." View all my reviews I have a vivid memory from ten years ago of my youngest child, then age four, asking me, "Mommy, are we in a rush?" I stopped in my tracks and realized that, yes, in fact, we were in a rush. We seemed to always be in a rush to get somewhere, get one more thing done, or just get out the door. He knew that, because he was always with me and was learning about how life worked from me. I was not being a good role model in how

In this episode, Sara Kuljis is back to talk about giving kids meaningful compliments and focusing on our kids' strengths. We recently hosted our Raise Thriving Kids workshop in Newport Beach where we spent the day discussing positive parenting tools. Since then, we've received a lot of positive feedback, especially on the topic of Level 3 Affirmations. Big Ideas Part of camp staff training involves teaching them to more regularly and more deeply affirm real character traits that matter in the campers. The children are able to go home knowing that they have this "gold" within them. They divided the affirmations, or compliments, into 3 levels. Level 1 affirmations are words that convey worth, value, and importance in one's possessions or one's physical appearance. Examples: "You have beautiful hair." "That's a really cool new skateboard." These are compliments on things (physical traits or material possessions) that a child doesn't have a lot of control over and it can create a sense of insecurity. Level 2

What comes before gratitude in our children? In this episode, Sara and I discuss how we can prepare our kids to become grateful people. Sara and I talked about gratitude last year in this episode about Growing Gratitude. Big Ideas As the Thanksgiving holiday nears, it is important to remember that we can cultivate a heart of gratitude all year long. Good manners are important but employing these "precursors" to gratitude can help instill our family values in a deeper and more meaningful way. Precursors to growing gratitude: Avoid over-giving, as it can lead to entitlement. When we earn what we have, we value it more. Cultivate empathy. When kids realize that there is a cost (money, time, energy or thought) associated with everything they have, they are more grateful. Model gratefulness. When kids hear their parents thanking each other, showing respect and demonstrating gratitude, they are more likely to adopt the same habit. Be exposed to seeing how most of the world lives or not always having daily comfort

In this episode, I'm speaking with Suzanne Tucker of Generation Mindful, a website dedicated to helping kids learn how to regulate their emotions. Big Ideas While working as a physical therapist, Suzanne realized there was much more going on in people's wellbeing than just the physical body. The whole health approach to healing and wellness is what led her to start Generation Mindful. Parents and educators love the science of positive discipline but struggle to apply the science of connection practically in their everyday lives. Generation Mindful offers evidence-based tools and toys that make connection a habit in homes and schools. They nurture emotional intelligence via play and positive discipline. Generation Mindful helps people overcome perfectionism, feelings of inadequacy, and promote connection. Their mission is to raise an emotionally healthy world. Generation Mindful tools and toys can be found in 70 countries and their community is in nearly 100 countries around the world. Quotes Suzanne: "If yo

In this episode, I'm talking with Dr. Ruth Gerson, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at NYU's Langone Medical Center, about helping teens who have been exposed to trauma. Trauma is, by definition, when an experience feels so threatening to one's safety and well-being that it overwhelms one's ability to cope. Human beings, especially children, are amazingly resilient. Not only can we humans survive terrible things, but often we commit incredible acts of strength and heroism in the face of adversity, such as the soldier who carries a wounded friend out of battle despite her own wounds, or a father who rescues his children from a raging fire. But just because we survive something does not mean we are not marked by the experience. -Ruth Gerson, M.D., Beyond PTSD Ruth's book, which she co-authored with Patrick Hepple, is Beyond PTSD, Helping and Healing Teens Exposed to Trauma. Ruth is a colleague of Dr. Jess Shatkin, who I interviewed back in Episode 16 about his book, Born to be Wild: Why Teens Take Risks, and