Relationship Dish

This week the therapists weigh in on the issue of addiction, in its many forms. Listen in as they discuss their own addictions and the addictions of their family members and friends. Dive into the literature with them as they navigate through the various diagnostic and treatment models to find the right one for you. 

This week the therapists dish and dive about affairs and infidelity. Listen in as they dish about their own experiences with infidelity and affairs (spoiler alert, it’s not pretty) and the impact they’ve had on their lives. Learn from the literature how to deal with it, get past it or get out of it if it happens to you!   

This week the therapists dish and dive about that critical voice in their heads, their inner critics. They look at where they come from and  how we can learn to manage them so they don’t take over our lives. Listen in and learn how to beat those negative voices! 

It’s Fathers Day and This week the therapists dish and dive about fathers! They look at the fathers of their own children and compare them to their own fathers, they dive about the importance of fathers and how a good relationship with father actually helps kids thrive all throughout life.    

This week the therapists dish and dive about enmeshment. They wonder if they are at times, enmeshed with their partners. Listen in as they dish about their own issues and explain what enmeshment  is and how to deal with it so it doesn’t run your life! 

Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive about seeing themselves in their partners.   They realize that many things that trigger them about their partners are the very things that trigger them about themselves. Being in a relationship is like standing in front of a mirror 24/7 and when that mirror feels like one of those “fun house” mirrors, well,  it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

Listen in this week as the therapists conclude their interview with two women who are pros at making their marriage work. Learn about what’s challenged them over the years and how they’ve learned to overcome these challenges and continue to grow together. They are inspirational to us. Learn from the masters!

Listen in this week as the therapists offer yet  another side dish! This time, they interview two women who, despite big obstacles, have managed to create and maintain an incredibly happy and healthy relationship.  Listen in to part 1 and find out which obstacles they faced and how they navigated them together. They are truly masters at their relationship and have much to teach us all. Next week we will conclude the interview with part 2. 

Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive about the difference between shame and guilt. Both therapists recall events from their family of origin when guilt bled into shame. Instead of feeling guilty for a bad behaviour, they ended up feeling shamed for who they were. Learn the differences between guilt and shame so you can more easily and cleanly heal and repair in your own life. 

Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive about the deals they make with the devil. It turns out they tell themselves some pretty interesting stories about the things they have to do to feel safe and to keep horrible things from happening to them and theirs! Who knew they had such power! Anyone else seek guarantees that nothing bad will befall them? What  are you willing to do to ensure it? Listen in and learn about the deals we’ve made in exchange for control! 

The therapists continue to dish and dive in this two part series about depression. They continue discussing how depression has impacted their own lives and the lives of their family and friends. They then dive into the literature and share the most current research into treatment options for this painful and often misdiagnosed mental illness. There is hope! Treatment saves lives! Listen to part 1 here 

Listen in this week when Pam and Iona dish and dive about depression as part 1 of a special 2 part series.  The therapists talk about how depression has touched their own personal lives and those of their loved ones and how their relationships with depressed family members have impacted them over the years. They dive into some literature on depression to help better understand it. The series continues next week with some treatment options. There is hope!

Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive about siblings. Why are these relationships, the ones we have with the people who are the closest biologically to us, so often fraught,  painful  or just plain disappointing? Pam and Iona discuss their own sibling relationships and unpack the issues from their own families of origin that may explain some of the difficulties they’ve struggled with over the years. 

This week the therapists dish and dive on self care. Is it really necessary to care for the self or is it just frivolous at best, selfish at worst? Listen in as Pam and Iona struggle through the questions of self care; why is it necessary, are they allowed, is it a one size fits all and what does it even look like. Learn some handy tips about self care for yourself, so you can give more of your best self to those you love!

Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive about how to fully repair after a tiff.  Pam has had an issue with Eric in the kitchen (where else??) and learns how to find her part, own it and take responsibility for it without taking it all on. Iona’s has an issue with Steve and also owns her piece and realizes what she needs from Steve; for him to cleanly own his part without being defensive.  Knowing what you need, owning your part and understanding your family of origin triggers all seem to play a role in healthy repair.   Learn how to repair tiffs with your loved one in a healthy and quicker way so you can still get out and enjoy your day!

This week the therapists dish and dive on forgiveness.   Iona struggles to forgive Steve for his wrongdoing and in so doing, realized that the she was the only person she was hurting by holding onto her anger.  Pam also finds it challenging to forgive Eric because well, does that mean she also has to forget?  Learn the difference between forgiving and forgetting. Stop getting stuck and start letting go! 

This week the therapists grapple with the things they can and can’t control in their partners and in their relationships. Iona’s husband is having some issues with his family of origin and she wants to protect him from the fallout, but he refuses to let her. She feels frustrated and her anxiety cannot be soothed by controlling the situation, because he won’t cooperate! Pam also has a family member in her life  who creates anxiety for her husband. She puts boundaries up around him in the same way that Steve puts boundaries up around Iona. Pam and Steve are stressed out having to deal with us! What’s underneath this need for control? How can we support our family members short of controlling them? Listen in and learn how to support your loved one without putting your own agenda front and centre!

This week listen in for part 2 of our interview with Sandra and Laird, a loving couple, who, despite dealing with many obstacles, has made their relationship work, and work well for 37 years!   Listen in as we continue the dialogue and we continue to learn from masters of the trade. What got them through the hard times? What are their rituals? How have they managed to continue to grow and evolve together?   These are the difficulties that many of us struggle with and ultimately fail at. They have so much to teach us all.  

This week as a special “side dish”, we air part 1 of our “Love Through The Ages” interview with Sandra and Laird, a couple that have been together for 37 years and are still wonderfully happy.   The road was not easy. It was a second marriage for both (divorce stats for second marriages are even worse than for first marriages), Laird had children and most of the “honeymoon” period of this relationship was loaded with new kids, new responsibilities, new living arrangements and very little alone time.  Yet, they succeeded! Listen in and learn from them.   They are masters at making their relationship work. They have rituals, habits and shared values that they practice that has helped them create a safe, loving and wonderfully fun and fulfilling relationship. They are role models for us all.

This week the therapists dish and dive about grief. Not the grief we feel from the death of a person, but rather the death of a fantasy. When we realize that our partner is not exactly what we want or cannot meet certain expectations or longings, we go through a similar process to the grief process. We feel angry, we bargain, we deny and ultimately if we can accept what is, then we can fully grieve what we don’t have. On the other side of grief is openness and a renewed sense of what is possible. The therapists learn that if they can get out of their own way, they actually  have partners who can and do exceed their expectations and longings in many areas. If you can start grieving the fantasy, then you can open yourself up to the real and wonderful person who is right in front of you.