Coming Up For Air - Families Speak To Families About Addiction

Those of us who’ve been learning and practicing CRAFT as taught by Allies in Recovery tend to agree: this stuff should be taught in schools! All parents should know about this! All humans would benefit!As co-host Kenny explains, “In this journey, I’ve come to understand that the CRAFT skillset is really about relationships, generally, as much as it is how you maintain or develop a relationship with someone who’s in the throes of a substance use disorder.” Not to mention, as Kayla points out, “It’s a massive growth opportunity for the person practicing it.” Practicing CRAFT in our daily lives not only heals relationships in general but also prepares us to act more skillfully with our struggling Loved Ones. Listen in and see if we convince you.At Allies in Recovery, we know that change starts with us. When we learn to self-regulate, it transforms our relationships with our loved ones struggling with addiction. A family member (whose loved one is currently in recovery for over a year) recently said this about jo

Kayla Solomon, who regularly co-hosts Coming Up for Air, is a therapist and leader of an Allies in Recovery group. Isabel Cooney interviews Kayla about her own experiences with CRAFT, and how she's come to view it and practice it. At Allies in Recovery, we know that change starts with us. When we learn to self-regulate, it transforms our relationships with our loved ones struggling with addiction.A family member (whose loved one is currently in recovery for over a year) recently said this about joining Allies: “I would say, just do it! It’s like the Bible of Healing Ourselves. It truly has changed the way I look at people, the way I see the world.”Visit ⁠Allies in Recovery⁠ to start your new path towards healing addiction in your family.

When accumulated trauma and worry have our anxiety levels running high, we are often in a place where we simply expect that (more) bad things are going to happen—even when, objectively, things seem to be going well. It can actually be just this, things going well, that feel so out of the ordinary that we assume it won’t last and start to live in a state of suspension. This in-between state prevents us from living in the moment, from celebrating even small successes or positive steps. Our team looks at how they’ve managed to combat this life-sucking tendency.At Allies in Recovery, we know that change starts with us. When we learn to self-regulate, it transforms our relationships with our loved ones struggling with addiction.A family member (whose loved one is currently in recovery for over a year) recently said this about joining Allies: “I would say, just do it! It’s like the Bible of Healing Ourselves. It truly has changed the way I look at people, the way I see the world.”Visit Allies in Recovery to start y

Though designed for families to help shepherd Loved Ones into treatment and recovery, CRAFT turns out to be a versatile framework that you can use anywhere, with anyone. And since our relationship with our Self is foundational for all the rest, it’s only logical—essential, Kayla says—that we’d find ways to practice CRAFT on ourselves.Does this sound confusing and strange? Let our families explain how they've approached this. Our Families Speak series features a wonderful team of people navigating life with an addicted Loved One. They are all members of Allies in Recovery, an online platform providing proven, research-based training, guidance, support and resources for families with a Loved One struggling with substance use.Alongside psychotherapist Kayla Solomon, they openly share their experiences, insights, and the CRAFT-based tools that have helped them shift the dynamic at home.Join Allies in Recovery today to access expert guidance, support, and resources that help families create real change.

What are the pitfalls of comparing your story and situation to that of others? How do you live in the world where not everyone is experiencing or expecting substance use or mental health issues, where people more readily discuss their Loved Ones' celebrations, accomplishments, and milestones? Our co-hosts talk about their own frustrations with comparing their situations to those of others, and how they've learned to handle it over time. A membership at Allies in Recovery provides: ✔ A structured online platform to learn CRAFT skills step by step  ✔ Support groups and a community that truly understands  ✔ A Q&A blog with expert advice  ✔ And much more!Start today—visit ⁠Allies in Recovery⁠ to begin creating change in your family.

Dads come together for a fascinating chat about the work they're doing around their children's substance use/recovery. What's different about how Moms and Dads approach the work? They suggest that the love felt for their Loved One is equal, but the interactions are quite different. James,a father of four, points out that Dads are often focused on detaching from their young adult sons, in order to let them become more independent—and this can also be exacerbated by the contrast of Moms being more involved. Dads and Moms might have completely different approaches to parenting their addicted adult children, but this is OK. Learning the CRAFT method and the Allies in Recovery toolkit has given parents common language and references that facilitate their own communications and dynamics around their approaches with their Loved Ones. The more we stay curious, interested and non-judgmental, the more power we have to positively impact the situation. These fathers lay it all out for us and help us to better

Responding to a question from an Allies member, our co-hosts tackle a tough situation. Our member fears her adult child will be triggered to drink at their sibling’s upcoming wedding. Things could really get out of hand. Mom's trying to anticipate things CRAFTily, but there are many people involved. Worry and high expectations tend to be baked into weddings. Tune in to hear our team brainstorming in real time and listen to the guidance they offer up.At Allies in Recovery, we know that change starts with us. When we learn to self-regulate, it transforms our relationships with our loved ones struggling with addiction.  A family member (whose loved one is currently in recovery for over a year) recently said this about joining Allies: “I would say, just do it! It’s like the Bible of Healing Ourselves. It truly has changed the way I look at people, the way I see the world.”  A membership at Allies in Recovery includes: ✔ Step-by-step training in the CRAFT approach ✔ Support groups and a compassionate community

How did Casie Fariello and Liz Reitman come to build Other Parents Like Me (OPLM), an impressive network of worldwide support meetings, expert talks and much more? Kayla speaks with Casey and Liz of OPLM, who describe themselves as "two moms determined to make a difference." The organization supports and educates parents with kids going through mental health challenges of all kinds, often including substance use.For more about OPLM, visit oplm.com.At Allies in Recovery, we train, guide, and support families using the CRAFT method—an evidence-based approach that helps families shift the dynamic with a loved one struggling with addiction. Self-care is a cornerstone of this process, but for many, it’s something we have to learn from scratch. A membership at Allies in Recovery gives you unlimited access to:  ✔ Step-by-step CRAFT training through our online learning platform  ✔ Support groups and a community that understands what you're going through  ✔ A Q&A blog with expert guidance  ✔ And much

Though it seems intuitive and important to avoid black and white thinking, what do you do instead? There are shades of gray, but our host Elizabeth suggests that a rainbow spectrum is really where complexity can live, a world where color, acceptance, softening, connection, and recognition of micro-successes are the path leading away from the contraction and defensiveness of black and white thinking.Visit Allies in Recovery to start your new path towards healing addiction in your family.  

The team weighs in definitively on the question, Is Everyone Creative? They share with us some key ways to get your creative juices flowing and move past blockages, and point to creative outlets you may not have considered.The Families Speak team is comprised of mothers and fathers on a journey with an addicted loved one. These family members have encountered the same struggles as anyone else with substance use in the family, but the journey they’ve embarked on is exceptional. They generously share their experience and tools with us, along with their ongoing challenges.One Families Speak family member recently referred to Allies in Recovery as “the Bible of Healing Ourselves.” VisitAllies in Recovery today and see why.⁠Suzanne Jarvie on spotify⁠ Song featured on part 2: "You Shall Not Pass"

Creativity has been a central element of healing for many of our Families Speak cohosts. For some, it arrived like a lifeline when their family was in crisis. For others, creativity remained frustratingly out of reach during the lowest point of crisis. The team dives into the countless ways we can access creative energy, and how it helped them. "Creativity is in everything if you're paying attention," affirms Allies in Recovery parent, Suzanne. (See below to find her music online)The Families Speak team is comprised of mothers and fathers on a journey with an addicted Loved One. These family members have encountered the same struggles as anyone else with substance use in the family, but the journey they’ve embarked on is exceptional. They generously share their experience and tools with us, along with their ongoing challenges.One Families Speak family member recently referred to Allies in Recovery as “the Bible of Healing Ourselves.” Visit Allies in Recovery today and see why.Suzanne Jarvie on s

Kayla and Isabel speak with Mississippi native Jane Clair Tyner, Communications Manager of the dynamic education and advocacy organization, End It For Good. Jane Clair describes the "Thank God moment" she had when she first discovered the CRAFT method, albeit bittersweet: she had already lost her first-born son to drug-related complications. She weighs in on the current challenge faced by Allies in Recovery and so many other organizations who are losing their funding because of the current administration. Find out what Jane Clair Tyner sees as the best possible ways to shine light on the situation and move things forward. A beautiful and inspiring conversation.End It For Good (founded by Christina Dent, who we've interviewed several times) promotes health-based alternatives to drugs, and fights against the criminalization of drug use. Learn more here:www.EndItForGood.com At Allies in Recovery, we train, guide, and support families using the CRAFT method—an evidence-based approach that helps fami

For these parents, behavior change started when they began coming to terms with not having control over their Loved One. Learn about the stages of behavior change that we all go through, and how to open to the challenge. Delve into this inspiring conversation and consider Kayla's affirmation that: "If I'm part of the problem, it means I'm also part of the solution!"Psychotherapist Kayla Solomon invites members from the support group she facilitates for Allies in Recovery to share their experiences navigating addiction in the family. These parents have faced similar struggles to so many others—but with Allies in Recovery, they’ve found a new way forward. A membership at Allies in Recovery provides: ✔ A structured online platform to learn CRAFT skills step by step ✔ Support groups and a community that truly understands ✔ A Q&A blog with expert advice ✔ And much more! Start today—visit Allies in Recovery to begin creating change in your family.

It’s human to make decisions that we later regret. Especially when addiction is present in our Loved Ones, fear and deep concern can often color our decision-making process. To see more clearly, we can take a step (or two) back and look at the situation through a new lens.I’m used to considering my Loved One’s needs first, but where do I fit into the equation? What are my own needs right now and what/where are my boundaries? What can I live with and what can’t I? What are my core values and am I respecting them? Can I change my mind if I realize I’ve made a decision that might be unlivable for me? If you originally told your Loved One they could come home, but now you think that was a mistake and you need to let them know you’ve changed your mind, consider planning ahead: have a plan for what you’ll say, be ready to remove yourself if things get very tense or even dangerous.Module 2 on safety is an essential one to watch. Module 4 on how to talk to your Loved One will also be very helpful here. Module 7 on na

There's a science to identifying the ripest moments for talking with your Loved One and knowing how to navigate them. Find out the opening lines that are sure to shut the conversation down before it even starts. Find out how to approach your Loved One in a way that keeps communication lines open. And finally, find out what you should have in your back pocket in case a ripe moment arises.A membership at Allies in Recovery gives you unlimited access to:· Support groups for connection & guidance· Our online learning platform to teach you through the CRAFT skillset step-by-step· A Q&A blog where you can ask questions and receive tailored guidance· And much more!Visit alliesinrecovery.net to explore membership options, read our blog, meet our team, and start your journey today.

When we face uncertainty, especially in relation to a Loved One struggling with substances, we tend to catastrophize, and challenging emotions like fear and helplessness can take over. As one mother puts it, "I jump on the zipline to nowhere." Each of our Families Speak co-hosts brings nuggets of wisdom and hard-earned strategy to this super-relevant conversation.

Children are often present when a parent or other Loved One uses substances problematically. It can be complicated to know how much to say to them about the substance use, and they might not necessarily have the words to talk about it. Kayla and Isabel talk about ways to spare the children as much as possible, and even "use them" as leverage.

Two sisters continue to look at their present-day relationship with a Dad with problematic drinking and mental illness. How have they changed the way they respond now as young adults, when they see him drinking? What observations do they have of CRAFT in action? Kayla weighs in with some inspired guidance for the girls, going forward.The CRAFT method was designed for any family member to use with a Loved One suffering from addiction and/or mental health issues. Allies in Recovery guides you through the steps with videos, exercises, Q & A discussion blogs and live support groups. The toolkit you gain will benefit both you and your Loved One. Learn more here. 

An honest and deeply real account from two sisters. They were pre-teens when their parents split up and they started to see the signs their Dad had a serious drinking problem. Their mom began using CRAFT with him and the girls navigated as best they could. Fast forward 13 years: they're young adults, both living far away. How have they been affected and where are they today?The CRAFT method was designed for any family member to use with a Loved One suffering from addiction and/or mental health issues. Allies in Recovery guides you through the steps with videos, exercises, Q & A discussion blogs and live support groups. The toolkit you gain will benefit both you and your Loved One. Learn more here.

When your Loved One has substance use and/or mental illness, communication can get sticky and prickly pretty quickly. Yet there's no world where we'll never need to have difficult conversations with our family members. CRAFT provides an incredibly effective toolbox for developing more easeful relationships. In this episode, our co-hosts—family members dealing with a Loved One's substance/mental health struggles—share how they've come to approach sensitive topics. The skillset they've learned from Allies in Recovery, and the dedicated way they have practiced using those skills, has helped them to recognize the best times to share a comment, the best tone/mindset to adopt when doing so, and what reasonable expectations are for these exchanges.Every human can benefit from this conversation which is overflowing with wisdom, humility and common sense approaches.Learn more about Allies in Recovery and how we can help you help your Loved One.