Coming Up For Air - Families Speak To Families About Addiction

Dominique shares a family’s question about a loved one who’s addressed the most pressing substance use. Should the family now focus on their loved one’s cannabis use? Our hosts discuss harm reduction and the role of the “functional analysis” in CRAFT to address such questions. The analysis involves reviewing what’s changed, patterns and dynamics, and making sure your own behaviors support reduction of use. These actions are subtle, and their subtlety makes them more effective. Even with multiple substances, they recommend addressing one at a time. The functional analysis should keep happening with different drugs, so that you know which behaviors to reward and which to walk away from. The Allies site includes cannabis resources discussing withdrawal and tolerance, and the more-concentrated form of use called “dabbing. 

Even when love is not conditional, there sometimes must be conditions regarding people’s behavior. Love in romantic relationships may change if you break up, but with family members, conditionality applies to behavior, not love. What we as family members can modify is how we react and our expectations. Conditionality goes back to boundary issues – there are edges someone comes to where they must stop what they’re doing. It’s important to note that wishing someone would go away is a normal, protective reaction to difficult feelings.

Laurie and Kayla discuss those difficult moments when you feel  ramped-up, and strategies to back away and not go with the emotion of  the moment.

Laurie and Kayla discuss the obstacles between knowing what to do and  putting that knowledge into real practice. In part 1, they focus on  avoiding a "crisis" response, and slowing events down to avoid being  reactive.

Laurie and Kayla discuss change -- how to manage it, how quickly it can or can't happen, and how to focus your efforts.

Laurie, Kayla, and Dominique offer an overview of the first twelve weeks of CRAFT, discussing what it can accomplish quickly, and what becomes a lifetime practice.

Laurie, Dominique, and Kayla discussing setting boundaries -- what they really are, who they're really for, and how to use them.

The Allies' team discusses several important de-escalation techniques when faced with an emerging conflict. 

To look at how CRAFT informs decision-making, Dominique, Kayla, and Laurie address a listener comment, discussing a father's choices in handling a son and the possibility of drunk-driving..... In the latest "Coming  Up for Air" podcast, Dominique tells the story about a dad who sees his adult son's truck parked at a saloon.  Not wanting the son to drive home intoxicated, dad uses an extra set of keys to drive the truck home BUT  PARK IT A BLOCK AWAY.  When the son returns home, he is intoxicated and  ranting about his "stolen truck."  Dad does not tell son where the truck  is, but stays silent on the subject while son calls the police to  report the "stolen truck."  Police arrive, an intoxicated son is raging to police, dad tells police where the truck is, BUT STILL DOESN'T TELL SON. This whole scenario about dad parking truck away seems passive aggressive to me.  What point was made here?  What purpose was served?   Was an enraged son the ultim

Laurie, Dominique, and Kayla continue their discussion of families and  treatment. Part one examined how the family can affect treatment and  vice-versa. Part two looks at the overall idea: taking care of yourself  and observing your own boundaries, while asking how you might best add  to treatment.

Laurie, Dominique, and Kayla discuss ideas about families and treatment,  focusing particularly on ideas around how the family can affect  treatment -- and vice-versa -- in part one of this two-part episode.

Laurie, Kayla, and Dominique continue their discussion of the CRAFT  model in romantic relationships. In part 2, they talk about practicing  and using the tools of CRAFT in difficult moments to address not your  loved one's substance use, but the relationship-affecting behavior that  happens with substance use.

Laurie, Kayla, and Dominique discuss the CRAFT model in romantic  relationships. In part one, they say our job as loved ones is to get our  own needs met. First, we must figure out those needs and what we can do  to meet them, then ask for help from our loved ones in specific,  measurable ways.

Laurie, Kayla, and Dominique discuss the challenges of releasing yourself from feeling responsible for your loved one's behavior, as their parent or family member. This involves recognizing yourself as your own person, and allowing them the respect and dignity of having their own process.

Hosts Dominique, Kayla, and Laurie discuss the individual nature of the  term "recovery." They look at recovery as an evolution involving growth,  change, finding meaning, and finding ease. They say the best plan is to  respect people's processes, plant seeds when you can, and stay  interested in how your loved one defines the process for themselves.

Dominique and Kayla discuss the idea of CRAFT as the beginning of  treatment – as connection, openness, curiosity, and modeling change.  They advocate focusing not on what your loved one does, but on case  management, on researching available options to present when the time is  right. That leaves you free to work on changing the dynamic and going  for connection.

Hosts Laurie, Kayla, and Dominique talk to Dr. Carl Erik Fisher about the historical context of addiction and approaches to treatment, the subject of his new book, The Urge.

Hosts Laurie, Dominique, and Kayla discuss the idea of "reframing" bad  situations, and what it means to reframe in a realistic, not idealistic way.

Hosts Laurie and Kayla discuss the difficulties of giving advice, and  talk about the best ways to approach such conversations -- including  simply listening.

Hosts Laurie, Kayla, and Dominique discuss the power of patience and a  more passive, accepting approach to helping your loved one walk their  own path of recovery. Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in   Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and  dialogue  with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more @ alliesinrecovery.net