Machine Court

Our guest, Mitch Burrow, is not smart enough to use the Internet. Life is difficult for a man who refuses to take an intelligence upgrade like everybody else. Pornbots try to steal his kidneys. Scammers want to frame him for car accidents. And worst of all, he might not be smart enough to have decent sex with his girlfriend. A story about being left for dumb.

An important thought experiment: what if Jimmy Stewart ran a Radio Shack? Direct Internet shopping threatens to make the walk-in retail experience a thing of the past. Is Potter to blame? Or Uncle Billy?

Facebook automatically assembles nostalgic memories of you into a multimedia presentation that is sure to give you and your friends the warm fuzzies. Also, a lonely man desperately wants to be your Facebook friend.

We've all come to rely on auto-complete. And everybody assumes it will always be there. But what if, one day, auto-complete died? Imagine having to completely type every word of your search queries without Google's help. And perhaps this reliance is more insidious. Does Google fill in our missing thoughts? Also in this episode: a surprising comeback from a 90's search engine, and a pervy shout-out to the powermoms.

Mobile network CEOs get together in a smoke-filled backroom for an evening of collusion and unwanted nudity. Is there some way to convince the world that they really are special, and not just a big dumb pipe? Also Jimmy Stewart stops by to brag about his new smartphone and all the cool apps he's installed on it.

Our guest, David Leon, is just a man who wants to be appreciated--or at least for people to stop yelling at him. After a catastrophic presentation at work, David's iPhone begins talking to him. And so begins David's descent into a Kafkaesque set of circumstances threatening his safety and sanity.

This is a short bonus episode with a few odds and ends. Includes a newscast from Trevortown, Tina Zamm's hit song Leather Couch Stanky Dog, and a visit from Spogey and Mr. Stomps.

Our guest Tambre Massman rents out a room to Hitler... Jeff Hitler, to be exact. Jeff is a clone of Adolf with supposedly all the bad features genetically removed. Yet worrisome attributes seem to remain. Will Jeff's passion to help the people go too far? And why does he insist on keeping that stupid mustache?

On Day One, Yogi Paliwal heard everyone's problems. Now it's Day Two, and time for him to provide solutions. But Yogi's problem-solving process has been horribly disrupted. In the course of just one day, he will need to fix a nuclear meltdown, invent a new kind of elevator, save a hack pop star's career, and make the world fall in love with insurance. Don't be skeptical, this is the Solution Boat, and Yogi will find all the answers.

Ride on Yogi Paliwal's yacht for three days and he will solve your problem, no matter how large, how complicated, or how embarrassing. Presidents, CEOs, scientists, and pop divas count on Yogi to find solutions that nobody else in the world can. Behind Yogi's cryptic demeanor lies at least one secret that he cannot reveal.

Cordcutters don't have a TV to fall asleep to, so they use Netflix. Reed Hastings and his band of merry content producers set out a bold new plan to put everyone to sleep. In a second sketch, a smooth-voiced man explains how experimental speech therapy changed his life.

In post-apocalyptic Seattle, our guest Bridget Natale lives with her boyfriend in a van. They are invited to join a community of survivors that have a strange reliance on technology. Bridget struggles to find her place in this new home, and teach her boyfriend that not all problems can be solved by building things with LEGOs.

Whoever has the saddest country gets to pick the next century's World Language. Those are the rules! Representatives line up before the United Nations Assembly, each making a case that their country sucks the hardest. Also, a song about one man's painful confusion over the Language of Love.

A plywood cube is dropped on our guest, Robert Lackey's, doorstep. And thus began Robert's relationship with a God-like being. In this show, you will hear the World's Greatest Joke, and learn how to build your very own God Box. Sean Shankley is back with his own late night fitness motivation talk show. Seriously, there is zero evangelism in this show--whatever your current religious beliefs are, we hope to have no influence on them.

Bonus Episode: Two tales of unconventional lovers--one, a young Japanese man who might just be dating his own hand. And the other, a tentacle monster. Hey, tentacle monsters need love too! This one is a bit raunchy. Just remember... if you get turned on while listening, it means you're a disgusting pervert!

Special guest Silas Lindenstein devotes his fictional life to a singular mission--getting cats to talk! Nothing will stop him--not even awkward sexual advances from an academic mentor. Join Dr. Lindenstein in his thrilling scientific pursuits. He's ready to sell out and he's definitely ready to play Barbie Dolls with adult men. While this episode does not actively encourage recreational drug use, it does suggest they will be wildly entertaining and help you to achieve extraordinary mental feats.

The conclusion of the Modern Love story, where Allison Lizotte trudges through snow, online dating websites, and unsavory nightclubs in a desperate search for love. At least three weird dudes hit on her. Find out what love and dating will be like in the future. (Hint: your favorite TV show is extremely important.) Parodies of Law and Order and To Catch a Predator. Also, there is Shower Friend.

Guest Allison Lizotte looks for love in a future where everyone prefers to stay at home and play XBox. Spend a grueling workday with her at Amazon Customer Service, where customers demand punishment for shipping mistakes. Hear a simulated Jimmy Stewart's holiday wishes. This is part one of a two-part story.

A feisty group of transhumanists conspire to redefine humanity in the banquet room of a pizza restaurant. It's high-tech show-and-tell full of one-upsmanship and wounded pride. And also a mangled nipple.

What will the Seattle Police Department look like in the year 2135? Our guest Mitch Burrow will show you. With his two police partners, Cakes and Spogey, Officer Burrow tackles the mean streets of Seattle. Everyone assumes he's a racist, and it isn't fair. No trope will be left unvisited and no logic will be left untaken to its extreme.