About Progress

"I don't think that 'acceptance' is an excuse to diminish yourself or to not hold yourself accountable to your best work . . . We should develop and expand and grow in whatever we feel called to do."   Nesha Woodhouse is the director of Lifehouse Performing Arts Academy and came from a intensive background in honing one of her beloved gifts--dance. But Nesha learned in her own life--and now passes on to her students--that mastery of our gifts can only truly flourish if our motivation is to bless the lives of others and ourselves. This is in contrast to being driven by competitiveness, comparison, or approval-seeking.   So many preach acceptance of self. While this is paramount to overcoming the challenges life throws at us, our souls also crave GROWTH. Nesha speaks on this important balance of seeking mastery of our gifts while also being driven by the right reasons--to more fully reach our own individual potential and bless the lives of others.   Now as the director of hundreds of youth pursuing greatness, N

“If we get so caught up in how we look, how our friends look, if we look good enough, we are missing the richness of life.”   Dina Alexander is back to teach us how to combat the perfect images social media projects for the children in our lives. BOTH boys and girls are constantly infiltrated with pictures and ideas about what their bodies are supposed to be like, and how they can get them. Listen in to this conversation to learn how to create an open communication in your home where these tough topics can be fully explored. Equip yourself with ways to arm your children the knowledge and self-respect necessary to own a confident, grounded view of themselves and their bodies.   Dina Alexander is the founder and president of Educate and Empower Kids (educateempowerkids.org), an organization determined to strengthen families by teaching digital citizenship, media literacy, and healthy sexuality education—including education about the dangers of online porn. She is the creator of Noah’s New Phone: A Story About

“I’m getting my self-esteem from looking in . . . I have worth in my trying.”    Although Mallory Wahlstrom Wright was an accomplished musician, dancer, and athlete, she suffered immensely from perfectionism-bred low self esteem. As a way to cope with never feeling like she measured up, she turned to controlling her body and her weight. Years of this behavior led to a crippled life that she wasn't sure she could make her way back from.   A series of lows pushed Mallory to seek help, but the biggest tipping point was when her older brother needed a kidney transplant--and Mallory turned out to be the *perfect* match! Following the surgery, Mallory faced near-life-taking complications and faced a very hard recovery. Through it all, she gained a newfound appreciation for her body and her life. Mallory learned to seek inward and find her own unique light that she now shares from her dance and harp students, to our listeners.   Show Notes: Last week's episode on overcoming fear with childbearing Monica's Facebook a

“My only approach is to love and strengthen all women, no matter what kind of birth they want to have.”   Laura Dugovic had prepared for a meditative birth with her first child, but what she experienced was gritty, loud, sweaty . . . and still completely transformative.    Laura is a doula and birth educator, but one who strives to help ALL women feel empowered to face birth with an attitude of a rockstar, regardless of what method they feel best suits them and their needs.   In today's episode, Laura works with our host--Monica--in a smaller version of what she does with her clients in a typical session. She talks Monica through her deep-seated fears of birth and teaches her how to manage her thoughts so she is better prepared to face the upcoming birth of her fourth child.   Show Notes: Laura's Website and Instagram Last week's episode on goals with Mandie Sherman Monica's Facebook and Instagram Monat Natural, Anti-Aging Hair Care: Contact Monica to learn more, OR research via her Monat Instagram and websit

"It doesn't get easier, but it gets lighter. It gets lighter because we get stronger . . . Your strength is going to help somebody else when they are weak."   When we are facing especially hard times, we've all heard people say that things will get easier. Mandie Sherman disagrees. She knows from her lifelong struggle with cystic fibrosis--a terminal disease--that it's not that things get easier, it's that we get stronger. And with that strength, we are then obligated to help others where they are weak.   Mandie's strength is evident throughout this interview as she frankly shares about what life has been like with a disease that consumes much of her day with constant treatments and monitoring. She is resilient--yes. Realistic--yes. But coupled with these qualities is an contagious optimism, a choice Mandie has made to face each day with strength AND softness.   Surrounding her is what Mandie calls her "army," people who love, support, and take care of her. Mandie's hope is that we can learn more about cystic

"When we attach anything to our goals--our happiness, worth, value, success--our goals are no longer out becoming . . .[they're] just about needing to achieve to feel something."   Sick of never meeting your goals? Too overwhelmed to even make some in the first place? It's not your method that needs some revamping; it's your motivation.   When you are a recovering perfectionist, you'll have a love-hate relationship with goals. On one hand, you could have a past of going over-the-top, full throttle and letting your goals dictate every moment of your life, only to ALWAYS feel like a failure; on the other hand, you could be so over feeling like a failure that it's too overwhelming for you to even begin making goals at all.   Time to find some middle ground. Want to know the secret behind revolutionizing your goals so they actually work?    You've got to define your "WHY" behind them.   Tiffany Webster joins me in a conversation on this topic today. You can prop us both up as "failed perfectionists," and therefor

 "If you set aside other people's expectations, set aside the need for permission and live your most authentic self, life is a lot more freeing and you're making better decisions."   Dina Taylor has faced many obstacles in her young life, but the two most recent--infertility and her 35-year-old husband's unexpected death--could have made her give up and give in. Not so, for Dina. Dina chose to persevere, and to do it her own way.   Listen in to hear how Dina and her late husband, Dan, faced major health problems, infertility, and then a very difficult pregnancy together, how she picked up the pieces of her life after his tragic death ten weeks before the birth of their son, Jack, and the unique ways she chose to face grief and carry on. Dina also shares how she has found expanded love in her heart for a new life partner, Rick, and what has made all the difference for her the past 2 1/2 years.   While this could have been a very heavy episode, instead Dina empowers us all to better face the struggles we each h

“Just like you and I lived at the mall or lived at the football game on Friday night, a lot of our kids are living on social media . . . I want my kids to make their mistakes while still living with me.  You want to give them parameters but also you want to give them the opportunity to make choices.”   We all worry about the incessant draw that technology is having on our children these days. You see the debates on Facebook and hear the tense conversations amongst parents: How much tech-use is appropriate? How can we limit screen time? When should children be allowed to use technology?   Before we can answer all that, however, we need to be asking the more appropriate question, as posed by Dina Alexander: "How can we empower our children to use technology responsibly and for good?"   Dina is the founder of the non-profit Educate and Empower Kids, which strives to help parents "parent in the digital age" by preparing their children, not scaring them. She is an expert on so many hard topics we need to discuss w

This podcast is in response to an email I received from a listener who was frustrated that all my guests on the show are too "extraordinary." While thoughts swirled about me, I interviewed Melinda Peterson from Melinda Joy Writes to chat about how she has been writing a novel for ten years; but then we magically had a beautiful discussion on seeing the extraordinary within ourselves.    Listen in to hear our conversation on this topic, my own expanded thoughts, my response to this email, as well as a highlight from one my "extraordinary-ordinary" friends--Brittney Hanks from Homegrown Traditions--who has encountered some tough failures as she and her husband navigate running a small business together.   Excerpt from Melinda's email, following our interview (it's amazing!!):   Show Notes Melinda's website, Instagram, and children-centered Instagram Homegrown Traditions website and Instagram Recent interview with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife: "Get Over Yourself" Jennifer Finlayson-Fife's website and Holiday DE

“It is that moment of complete 100% surrender that we step into that power we never had before.”   Tiffany Webster knows a thing or two about surrender. As a lifelong perfectionist, life had a way of showing up and forcing her to slow down, and slow down hard: infertility, chronic illness, brain surgery, and poor mental health. That's just some of what Tiffany faced that helped her see she had to learn how to give in, look outward, and reach up--and in the process of doing that, she found greater strength than she ever knew possible.   You might recognize Tiffany from her viral talk on perfectionism given at the Hope Works conference: "The Perfect Lie." Tiffany has recently released the most beautiful book--Embracing the Broken--that goes into great depth with what brought her to her lowest lows, the lessons she learned about the lies of perfectionism, and how we can rise above it.   In this interview, we talk about this as well as how Tiffany deals with the messiness of progress, how we can stop wearing mask

"Comparison is evil . . . Any time you look at someone else's strengths that might be your weaknesses, you'll always come up short."   10 years ago, Tamarynn Bennett was 25 years old and had barely run more than a few miles at a time. So, she reasonably thought she would be a "one and done" with a marathon she signed up for. But after accidentally qualifying for Boston (!), she found herself drawn to the challenge and the thrill of racing.    Like most athletes, Tamarynn has had her fair share of set backs and disappointments. From taking a full six years off of doing triathlons so she could focus on her family, to facing adrenal fatigue and injuries, to not being able to do races she had trained so hard for, Tamarynn has seen it all. Her persistence is admirable, but it's also reachable; Tamarynn likes to make it clear--she is ordinary and credits achieving these big goals just one step at a time and holding strong to the bigger picture.    Tamarynn also discusses the personal trials her family has faced, an

We celebrated our year anniversary of the podcast a few weeks ago! To commemorate this time, I have a short, unedited, rambling State of the Podcast episode for you. In it, I share some of our stats, which episodes I think more people need to listen to, and where I see the podcast headed.   Thank you for your incredible support!!!   XO, Monica Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"I meet a ton of people who say, ‘Oh I can’t do that, I'm not creative . . .'  Maybe they will never find that painting or drawing fulfills them, but they ARE creative in the way that they solve problems, or put things together, or organize . . . We can think about creativity differently in that we are created to create.”  For Lisa Funk, lettering (also know as calligraphy) isn't just about creating beautiful text--it's about purposefully living a life she loves. Lisa found that by honing her craft and mastering inspirational messages, she was able to better face her inner mental health battles. Lettering changed Lisa's life! Once she started sharing her gift, she was surprised how people didn't just want to know where they could buy her artwork, they wanted to learn how to do it themselves. That's how Lisa became an accidental businesswoman, and one steeped in the goal in improving lives, one letter at a time.   Lisa discusses how creativity is innate in all of us and how learning to work hard to develop our

"Those that are most able to deal with their flaws, are most willing to be seen as human . . . That’s real moral courage, and that’s the kind of courage that sets us free."   Have you ever heard the saying, "I am my own worst enemy?" If you've thought or said that about yourself, then this episode is for you. (And if you haven't, then this episode is also for you.)   All of us carry the innate tendency to mask our own humanity--our flaws--from those we love, work with, and even ourselves. Doing so actually inhibits our growth, creates tension in our relationships, and leads to inner turmoil. The only way to get over all that is to get over ourselves.   Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife teaches us what this tendency looks like in action, and what we can do to fix it by facing our own flaws with compassion and true moral courage. She also helps us see what we get out of doing so: a life filled with challenges, certainly; but also a whole lot more love, fulfillment, and freedom.    Show Notes: Jennifer's website and H

"With each thing I tried, every time it failed . . . I failed deeper and the problem got bigger. It got to the point where I no longer felt any control over it. I remember one day thinking, ‘I’m not going to try anymore.’”   Julie Taylor was known online for being "real," but only she knew the truth--that she was hiding an addiction, and one especially riddled with shame: food addiction.   Julie talks about the transformation she has been through the past few years of identifying herself as someone addicted to food, pursuing help for it, and how in time it made her far more real than she ever had been before.   Julie's path unfortunately led her from one form of addiction to another--an obsession with perfection. One particular incident alarmed her husband: After accidentally having a bite of cheese while out to dinner, she sobbed for hours. Julie eventually decided that this other extreme way of living was making her just as unhappy as having no boundaries.   The biggest key to Julie's TRUE healing arose as

"I have worth and it isn’t always looking to the external to try to find validation, because that’s an endless competition that you’re never going to win. It doesn’t bring any happiness."   Reachel Bagley is not your normal "fashion blogger." Sure, she has a fabulous sense of style--one that you're going to salivate over. But Reachel loves fashion because of what it can do to really transform someone's confidence, to help them feel more empowered to face their lives and their trials. She loves to really teach her clients and her followers what colors, cuts, and fits look best on their bodies, not just show her own polished outfits. (One of her mantras is: it's not that you aren't fitting into your clothes, it's that your clothes aren't fitting YOU.)   Reachel knows what it is like to lack confidence, and in a really dark way. Her own sense of pride and love of her body took a beating after years of infertility. She saw her body as something to be punished, not loved, because of the way she saw it hurting her.

"By choosing your habits and staying with them, you are scientifically engraining them in your body . . . setting you on a pace that will help you achieve what you want to achieve."   What do you get when you create the perfect mix of zen and science? Greg Karelitz, is what.   Greg is the founder of the Positive Vibes Only Society (PVOS), a community with a mission to help people better live in the moment, backed up with science. As a touchstone, PVOSers sport a necklace that act as a physical reminder to live positively.   Greg developed a fascination with the science behind positivity when he was at a big low: having just undergone a double hip surgery and with it a big life style change that eventually led to him experiencing anxiety attacks. He had his own necklace--the star of David--that helped him recenter during those moments. And perfectly, the hex in that symbol align with the shapes of the chemicals in our bodies that contribute to our happiness--chemicals that Greg was in the trenches of researchi

"You don’t really appreciate time unless you’re looking at a diagnosis like cancer. . . You don’t appreciate the time that you have until you know that there could potentially be an end date.”    Danielle Stepp was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma--cancer--as a new mother of a three month old baby girl.   Her treatment entailed 12 debilitating rounds of chemotherapy. As Danielle made her way through this very difficult period of her life, she held on to her family, her friends, and what she calls "Prayer Power" to help her arise above the immense hardships. She also used her fighting spirit and treated cancer like a bull, and Danielle "wrestled it to the ground."   Now a year cancer free (!), Danielle looks back to see what helped her through this hard chapter, how cancer has changed her, and what she has learned about not taking time for granted.   Show Notes: Danielle's blog Compassion that Compells Monat Natural, Anti-Aging Hair Care: Contact Monica to learn more, OR research via her Monat Instagram and w

“I think the reason we all suffer is because it makes us stronger—it’s a strength, it’s a gift in a way . . . I could not write the music that I write had I not gone through hard things.”    Paul Cardall knows a thing or two about suffering and turning that suffering into a gift. He was born with half a heart and experienced poor health throughout his childhood and well into his adulthood. In 2009, he underwent a full heart transplant that gave him a miraculous new way of living. And yet, it was after his transplant that Paul faced the darkest period of his life: guilt, depression, the ending of his marriage, and more.    But Paul used his pain to create masterpieces that helped him rise above, music that has gone on to transform millions of lives across the world. Yes, millions.   Listen to this interview to hear about how this is the case for Paul, how and why he started playing the piano as a late-teen, what the creative process is like for him, and how he believes wholeheartedly that our trials can transf

“I’m not a professional athlete. I don’t do this to win money and races. I do this to enhance my life and it brings me joy, along with my family . . . As long as I'm putting them first and taking care of them, everything else usually falls into place.”   Heather Jenson says this to describe how she views her "little" hobby as a triathlete. This sport can suck people into perfectionism, obsession, and the comparison trap. But Heather has learned how to resist the negative side of her passion and embrace it for the goodness it brings to her life and to her family.   Heather shares how her love of racing (she started as a swimmer!) increased after dealing with a terrible bout of postpartum depression, that having big and then bigger goals to aspire to helped her regain what she thought she had lost within herself. She is so honest about how hard training can be, but how breaking up a huge goal into small pieces has helped her achieve big dreams.   A favorite example she shared: Her first half-marathon was 10 yea